Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Saving Mr Banks World Premiere - Hanks! Farrell! Thompson! Wilson!

Exciting times : London Film Festival is over, and though I was only able to go to five of the twelve days, in that time I went to eight premieres – including two yesterday ( Only Lovers Left Alive has a journal) while the day before that it was three (Locke , 12 Years A Slave and Drinking Buddies) and I was at the first two nights, for Captain Phillips and Gravity

Today was the closing gala – the Disney-themed ‘Saving Mr Banks’ – here’s how it went down.

And so, for the last time this year and the sixth time (!!) in three days, I’m at a Leicester Square premiere. What with Thor2 being on Tuesday, I’ll be back here soon enough. The forecast is currently for all day heavy rain, and a 100% chance of Tom Hiddleston fans. I can’t wait!

Lady, you are in the SECOND ROW of a premiere while I’m in the fourth and you’re holding the phone up over the head of a person SMALLER than you, and additionally the guy you’re taking a photo of is so far away that your autofocus is useless, your flash is superfluous and you’re not even metering properly. (There is probably a reasaon I’ll never meet a girl at a premiere. I could probably compliment her on her leather jacket, I suppose)

“What? I’m wearing them like this now. I’m trying to make it into a Thing”
“Barry, it’ll never be a ‘Thing’ "

OMG!! It’s the guy who was in that thing with the guy!! The guys on the left aren’t so sure.

Unlike Will Smith, Tom Hanks prefers to dispense high-fives remotely. It is more efficient, I guess.

Tom Hanks was part of the London Film Festival opening gala for ‘Captain Phillips’ and here he was again, looking all reliable and authoritative. Between him and Morgan Freeman, you could pretty much sell ebola-flavoured cookies on trust.

Tom Hanks was staring at me, and I was staring at Barry, still doing his thing

It was vodka, but we couldn’t prove it.

“Fake cherry blossoms!! What do y’all think – classy, zany or irritating?” My camera’s autofocus has one answer, I have another.

Colin Farrell isn’t nearly as drunk and disorderly as he once was. Now he wears a tie and everything.

Pumpkin Spice Latte. Sounds so wrong, tastes so right. Might require a second sip to make sure, though.

Random attendee : Singer Lily Allen. When I saw her at V Festival lo those years ago she was holding a cigarette in one hand, cup of beer in the other, and swearing prettily. Things change. (I’ve got a Pentax K5 now, and slightly less hair. Better collection of beanies, though.)

Rumours that Emma Thompson will be playing a Sith Lord in JJ Abrams’ Star Wars episode VII were found to have been started by me. But the force push she’s using did clear the red carpet of security. I last photographed her at the premiere of Men In Black III where she pulled faces and spoke in an alien language. Good times.

“You grew up watching the Nanny McPhee movies? But you’re like…. forty six years old”. Ah, time travel.

“Of course I believe you that this Harry Potter box set is for your eight year old niece. Do you still want me to make it out to Steve?” Emma Thompson was professor Trelawney in Harry Potters 3, 5 and 7b.

“Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it”
“A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it”
Perhaps, but I’m not sure fake cherry blossoms are any safer to ingest.

I’ve failed to photograph Ruth Wilson properly at almost every premiere she’s been to, including Friday’s “Locke” and all but one photo at The Lone Ranger . Still… ambience.

“Okay, but if that garden setting isn’t exactly as described in the ad, I’m hunting you down for a refund” Colin Farrell knows a good bargain when he thinks he hears one.

“Yeah, I’m setting up a whole new decking area for the house. I’ve got a guy who’s promised to set up something for me.” Colin Farrell has had a bit of a hit-and-miss movie career, never quite managing to put together a solid string of successes (I’m saying that because I’m safe back at my apartment and he doesn’t know where I live).

“Seriously, what were Gore and Bruckheimer thinking? Was it an action movie? A comedy? A drama? A period piece? Because it failed on EVERY level. And it was long, and dull, and loud and awful” Ah, yes. Ruth Wilson was in The Lone Ranger. I watched that movie on a plane while over the Atlantic Ocean and still felt like walking out of the screening anyway.

Thank goodness you’re here. Somebody brought up The Lone Ranger. Wasn’t me. I’m still unable to speak openly about how awful it was. Good to see Colin Farrell lending emotional support.

“Gardenia cuttings? Yeah I’m interested….” A mental walk through my DVD collection reveals that the only movies I possess that Colin Farrell is in are Minority Report and the little regarded American Outlaws (excellent instrumental score by Trevor Rabin, in case you’re interested).

“Did you really read Anna Karenina, or are you just saying that to impress me” Yeah, I’ve heard the latest movie is a bit of a slog, too. Still.. I’ve finally photographed Ruth Wilson properly(ish!) – it’s a good sign.

“I can hold this pose for another two, maybe three seconds. Are you sure this is my good side?” Never listen to the guy wearing a baseball cap to a premiere.

“Me? Pay to watch a movie? Why on earth would I do that?” File note : must start getting invited to these things. (I’ve got a legitimate claim too : I even have a Kevin Bacon score of three – true story!)

So…. that’s another one for the burgeoning Archive of Movie Premieres and a mere two days to get myself prepared for the imminent psycho-hysteria of the Thor2 premiere. Also the working week. (Wish me luck!)

Until next time!

Twitter : @berndt2_photo (if you subscribe you’ll get notification of movie premiere journals and occasional ranting about poor service from various telcos and transportation companies, and little else.)

Journal Comments

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