Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Drinking Buddies premiere - Kendrick! Swanberg!

So I’ve missed the last six days of London Film Festival because I was in Boston. After a redeye overnight flight during which I didn’t even sleep through more than about forty minutes of the apalling Disney flop “The Lone Ranger”, I’d been without sleep for about 26 hours, got home around noon the next day and thought I’ll just close my eyes for an hour. I woke up a bit over three hours later and thought there was no point going in to London for a premiere (specifically “12 Years A Slave”).

But I’m glad I did. It wasn’t one premiere… it was three, and this one was the first. I was tired, but I’d remembered to charge the batteries on the Pentax before head hit pillow for ‘a quick nap’. Here’s how the first of three went down:

It’s not a standard premiere setup – for one thing the carpet is a square ringed with fencing rather than a carpet to walk down, for another there are no posterboards advertising what film it’s for. That’s not entirely unusual, but it’s very hard to articulate to passing American tourists that I’m here with two cameras, not sure who the director is, and not certain what the name of the film is without them backing away from The Crazy Man soon after. (In my defence, I’m here for 12 Years A Slave, which isn’t for another hour and a half).

According to imdb, Director Joe Swanberg has 42 acting credits to go with his 22 Directing credits, along with another 21 for writing, 22 for producing, 18 for cinematography, 15 for Editing, 3 for camera and electrical department, 2 for sound, and 1 for makeup department. Now THAT’S a progression path!

It took two minutes for the lady to they were all watching youtube clips of a penguin falling over adorably and not actually photographing the newly-arrived Anna Kendrick.

“I seriously doubt any of you have heard of – let alone watched – Pitch Perfect”. Yeah, that Paparazzi cordon is a whole lot older and a lot more male than that demographic. In other news : I still don’t know what this movie is called.

This photo was all set to be an ordinary shot of a guy using an iPhone app to record an interview with a director, until some guy behind was all “you shoot Pentax?”. Yes. I’ve also watched Pitch Perfect. I’m all about the contradictions.

“Are you getting me that photo of Anna Kendrick, son??”
“No Dad, but I’ve just hit level 16 on Fruit Ninja”

It’s when I take photos like this that I realise it’s about time I invested in a quadrichopper upon which I can amount a DSLR that I can control via laptop from a nearby cafe (or, preferably, pub).

“This might not be the best time for me to outline my ransom demands for the UN, but since you’ve all got cameras here goes…”

“… and fully fuelled plane at Heathrow, a crate of diamonds, the latest issue of Cigar Connoisseur magazine and a venti pumpkin spice latte. Is somebody writing this down?”

Anna Kendrick : “The counter is still at 00’00’00’00 – are you sure you’re recording this??”
Cameraman : “The viewfinder is on the other side of where you’re looking – how can you tell?”

“And no, I am absolutely not posing like this to highlight how cool my earring / ring combination is, and I also am not a part-owner of the company that makes them and I would not like to ask you to check out the website and buy one ‘cause it’s a great Halloween / Thanksgiving present”. Noted.

_"And if you could also endorse my online iphone monogramming service, I’d highly appreciate it"
“Dude, are you sure you’re from E Entertainment??”

“No offense, but I think the Treblemakers should have won” Tough call. I felt the pool mashup of ‘Just the way you are’ and Nelly’s ‘Just A Dream’ was the best song on the album. Not that I own the album…. (cough, and looks away shiftily not making eye-contact)

“So I told him ‘no more than fifteen, but I’ll negotiate if it’s asparagus flavoured’, and I really appreciate the fake smile because I think I might have mixed up that punchline on that joke”

Sorry for non-fans of Anna Kendrick, but given the choice of photographing the dude with the beard or her, just this once I’m coincidentally erring on the side of the person who was in Twilight.

“Jerry, get me the rest of the bound script – Anna loves my treatment and wants to take a look at it!!” I’ve always wondered if that would actually work.

“Sorry, Miss Kendrick. I really did want to show you the hardcore sci-fi one, and not the thinly veiled Twilight fanfic I’ve been working on”

So that was kind of a one-person premiere, and within ten minutes I was across the other side of Leicester Square waiting for the next one. But until I do that, it’s another movie for the Archive of Movie Premieres

Twitter : @berndt2_photo

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