Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Blue Jasmine premiere - Blanchett! Hawkins!

I’m not the hugest fan of Woody Allen movies. Indeed, here’s a list of quotes I’ve used to describe the last three I’ve watched:

Vicky Cristina Barcelona : “All the characters in this film (including beautiful 25 year old women) talk as if they were 70 year old Male Jewish New York Pseudointellectuals, and that’s bad screenwriting. Even with George Lucas you can tell the difference between a teenage queen, an elderly Jedi Knight and a Filippino-accented transvesite frog”

Annie Hall : “Casting the wrestler Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson in the lead was a stroke of genius. Oh wait. They didn’t? That’s a real pity”

Celebrity : “At £2.95, across the five minutes Charlize Theron is in it, it would be like paying £85 to watch The Avengers. And at that price, much as I love Charlize Theron, I think I’d prefer to watch The Avengers. Again.”

I’m not a huge fan of Woody Allen movies (as previously noted) but credit where credit is due – this is the most discreet movie poster I’ve ever seen. There are no names on it, and the distributing companies’ logos are small and in light grey on the bottom right and left.

“Yellow Daffodil premiere? No, this is Blue Jasmine. You want the next cinema over”. You’re welcome. Also, yes, as forecast, it’s raining.

“I want the archers over there, the triremes blocking the port and the main force approaching from the south. Then save the game and get back to me, I’ve got a premiere to co-ordinate”

If you’ve ever wanted to see the glitz and glamour of the Paparazzi Pen of a London premiere, here you go. (I was wearing dark-coloured jeans, black jumper and black jacket. Totally overdressed. Blame London Fashion Week )

Is that a 300mm f4 under your trenchcoat or should I be calling the authorities?

I don’t know who he is, but he’s not Ben Affleck. In addition, I think that my spot in front of the posing wall right next to the Paparazzi will assist me in taking good quality photos, but probably also rather boring ones.

Ordinarly I might profess to have no idea who this is, but wireimage helpfully states she’s Tuppence Middleton. Again, ordinarily I might not know who she is, however I do because she was one of the stars of the British horror/slasher film Tormented which for some unknown reason is the single most viewed movie premiere Journal I’ve ever posted. And I still don’t know why!

Most recently, Tuppence Middleton appeared in the films “Trance” and “Trap for Cinderella” both premieres of which I sadly missed. Much as I want to, I can’t do them all….

I think she’s pretty, and wireimage adds that she is Marama Corlett. Off to wikipedia I go….
(she’s a Maltese actress/dancer best known for being ‘Rina’ in the TV series ‘Sinbad’) (that’s not helpful)

A car drives all the way up the Blue Carpet, and dispenses its occupant, Australia’s Oscar-winning actress Cate Blanchett. I’ve never photographed her before (I sadly missed the last Hobbit premiere), and have switched my camera to 16Megapixel (I usually shoot 10MP) and Very Fine jpg quality (I usually shoot ‘Good’).

Pandemonium briefly erupts as Cate Blanchett signs a few autographs before heading to the Paparazzi Wall. That will be my only chance to photograph her as all outdoor media have been moved indoors owing to the rain.

After three days of shooting the madness at London Fashion Week , you’d think I’d be able to critique Miss Blanchett’s dress. However, as you’ll find if I check, I spent most of my time shooting weird caps, spiked shoes, odd backpacks, strange sunglasses, disturbing tattoos and other oddities. So I’ll leave it as “the dress looks nice, I guess” and disqualify myself from ever getting into a privileged press spot at LFW.

Currently not capable of forming coherent thoughts. Fortunately still photographing at 16 megapixels. And about to realise to my horror that the buffer on my camera is only able to sustain its frame rate for about 5 shots before it takes one photo every two or so seconds. Arghhhh.

My camera’s frame rate appears to have slowed to something like one shot per sixteen minutes, but weirdly, it’s still doing great and Cate Blanchett is STILL maintaining eye contact.

It’s not eye-contact, but I’ll take it.

If I may be allowed to gush a bit about a fellow countrywoman, Cate Blanchett is all class. I wasn’t even in the Paparazzi Pen but I got full eye contact on multiple occasions. I honestly think she looked at every photographer (and me) separately and in turn. That’s pretty fantastic.

Cate Blanchett has gone inside, life seems more dull now, and I don’t know who this guy is but he should probably get that hunchback looked at by a chiropractor. (Edited to add : he’s Richard E Grant, very prolific actor but no lead roles, last seen in such movies as Iron Lady and Horrid Henry and Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride)

This is Australian author Kathy Lette, last photographed at the premiere of Diana . I got a better shot of her but it was against the boring background, so I’m using this one.

Actress Sally Hawkins is also in this movie. I’ve seen relatively few things she’s been in (Made in Dagenham, Never Let Me Go), one that I didn’t like and don’t remember her from (Layer Cake), and … the upcoming Godzilla Reremake.

“Go see this film, people. Also, keep your diaries free for Godzilla next year. It’s totally not a money-grab unlike the last one.” Maybe, though I did like the Puff Daddy and Wallflowers songs from the soundtrack of the 1998 one.

One more shot.

And one more shot of Cate Blanchett. I can see why the Paparazzi get such good photos under such controlled circumstances. I can’t say I prefer this kind of photography to candids at premieres, but I can’t argue with the capacity to get a much higher quality than average. And to be fair, you don’t even need a good camera to take a photo like this at this kind of distance under this kind of lighting. Dual Pro-Nikons and speedlights might seem like overkill. No offence intended, pro photographers.

So… no Woody Allen, but that’s not the huge-est loss in the world. I actually photographed him once at a New York Nets game

At extreme zoom in the darkness of the crowd, I’m happy enough with this photo of Woody Allen. I’m not a fan, but wish him all the best in his endeavours.

And that’s another one for the Archive of Movie Premieres

It’s going to be a bit quieter from now until London Film Festival in October, sadly.

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