Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

GQ Awards 2013 - MDouglas! RBrand! AEve! SL Jackson! Hiddleston!

I’ve been to the GQ Man of the Year Awards twice before, in 2011 and again in 2012 , and the first one was definitely the best, as it was the only one where whining Paparazzi didn’t force the expansion of pens to force fans into the inaccessible and less visible parts of the entry. Also, at that one I photographed Charlize Theron

That aside, this year, like last year wasn’t all bad. Here’s sort of how it went down. Sorry for the brief comments – it’s pretty late where I’m sitting.

It’s The List! There’s some pretty decent names on it, assuming (a) they show and (b) they elect not to bypass the Red(ish) carpet and fans and cordons of hungry Paparazzi and go in via the side entrance. Sadly, a lot of these names seem to be from the world of British television, British sport and… well… Britain. Which is not my forte, even though I live here.

No, actually the Cross aren’t over there, they’re over where I’m starting, evicted by photographers with mildly better cameras than me.

No idea, and Crowd Excitement level : moderate, if not slightly higher.

No idea, and Crowd excitement level : restrained. Still – I think he could have made for an interesting non-Henry Cavill Superman. Let’s see what Ben Affleck makes of HIM.

Eddie Redmayne, actor. Also occasionally singer, in Les Miserables . ps. He ended up winning the Alcohol Brand I’m not willing to promote breakthrough award.

No idea, and Crowd Excitement level : very noisy. What did I miss?

No idea at point of arrival, but people were awed/excitedly saying ‘Rio Ferdinand’. I guess that makes him a footballer, and not of the Rugby League / Union type.

No idea, and Crowd Excitement Level : barely noticeable.

Generic Crowd Excitement Level : Anticipatory (Tom Hiddleston has not yet arrived)

No idea, and Crowd Excitement Level : moderate/high. He was certainly giving a lot of hugs.

Once again, no idea, and Crowd Excitement Level : high enough to make me pause and think… why don’t I know who he is?

Simon Pegg, Actor/Nerd. Last photographed at Star Trek Into Darkness

Simon Pegg ended up winning the Comedians award with Nick Frost and director Edgar Wright.

Michael Douglas, actor, and though he was on the list I’d still say he was a surprising arrival/attendee. Never previously photographed.

Michael Douglas signs autographs. Very cool. Also, he ended up winning the Legend award. I’m not a fan of the titles and categories GQ bestows (refer Emma Watson, below), but I’m not going to argue with Michael Douglas.

Michael Douglas, actor/triumphant.

Nick Frost, Actor. Co-Winner of a Comedians award with Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright.

“You want me to sign your copy of the game Mass Effect 2? Well… it was Martin Sheen who did the voice, but sure…”

Emma Watson, Actress / Kissing some dude. Last photographed at My Week With Marylin . She won the award for Woman at this year’s ceremony which… wait… that’s a category?

I know he’s Pharell Williams because one girl nearby was overcome with emotion, however with all due sympathy for her plight, I’m not actually sure of his sociological or anthropological importance. Shows what I know, though, he won the award for Performer.

No idea who, probably some kind of model based on the practiced indifference in the pose. Crowd Excitement Level : Distracted by the arrival of Tom Hiddleston.

Tom Hiddleston, best known for : being Tom Hiddleston.

Tom Hiddleston. Crowd Excitement Level : I should have kept the earplugs from yesterday’s RUSH world premiere

Tom Hiddleston, actor. You may remember him from such crowd screams as “OMG THAT’S TOM HIDDLESTON!!”. And if I had as much luck with women or money as I do simply photographing Tom Hiddleston regardless of vantagepoint, I’d be a millionaire and married to Charlize Theron by now.

Samuel L Jackson, actor, angry.

Samuel L Jackson, actor, cheerful.

Alexa Chung, designer (?) (I do rate the clear Chanel-themed bag she’s got)

Tom Hiddleston. One more because I care, but not so much that I’m not also aware somebody I’m more interested in has just arrived. .

Alice Eve, the kind of exceedingly pretty actress that makes you feel ugly and inadequate even though, let’s face it, you’re pretty invisible to her kind. Pressed for honesty, I would say she’s the second-prettiest blonde I’ve seen in the past seven days (and no, I’m not rating Chris Hemsworth as number one)

Alice Eve, continuing to test my ability to hold a camera steady, as well as my resolve to wait a bit over a week before buying Star Trek Into Darkness on DVD/Bluray.

There is a spot on my wall for this picture if I can get in enlarged and signed…. and maybe blur or obscure the crotchety cranky old man in the background.

Russell Brand, actor/comedian/lothario, actually rather talented singer…. and possibly the worst person in the world for me to have around if I’m trying to impress Alice Eve.

Rita Ora, singer, conveniently distracts Russell Brand for me!

Russell Brand… sadly not easily distracted. I haven’t previously photographed him, either. And he ended up winning the Oracle Award. I’m not sure exactly what that’s for, so I won’t be arguing against him receiving it.

Russell Brand… actually possibly easily distracted.

Danny Wallace, writer/ columnist, he wrote Yes Man

Everyone was like “It’s Noel Gallagher!!” and I was like, wait – he’s clean shaven, not scowling, not ripping out anyone’s throat… how can you be sure? He won the award for Icon (not to be mistaken for other awards titled Legend, Inspiration, or Genius in GQ’s wonderful lexicon of convenient adjectives)

“Your instruments are pointedly arranged in the wrong general geographic dispersal”

Gillian Anderson, actress. Desperate choice of angle/vantagepoint.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely, model/actress/Jason Statham’s girlfriend. She and I shared a moment at the premiere of Hummingbird and then her boyfriend and I shared a moment of clarity afterwards.

Jessie J, singer / vocal judge. This weeks’ haircolour appears to be blonde.

I didn’t know the Nikon had this kind of ‘ominous’ filter. I also didn’t know Nikons couldn’t survive 80cm falls. I’d find that out later.

Nick Grimshaw, Radio1 DJ inferior to his predecessor Chris Moyles, but fairly well dressed. He won the Radio Personality award, so once again I am not representative of public opinion.

iPad camera and off-iPad flash unit carried by somebody else. Inelegant.

Not sure who this is. Crowd Excitement Level : High, for the dress certainly.

Weirdly, noticed only right near the end that there was an open and strangely lit/covered/reflective window looking into a few of the event’s interview stations

Piers Morgan, interviewer. He won an award for TV Personality. Call me non-representative (and even I have), but awards for ‘personality’ surely can’t have that much worth attached to them?

So… that was certainly an experience. Sadly, the Nikon appears to have failed to survive a drop from waist-height perpetrated in a crowded environment. Kind of disappointing – I guess I’ll have to get that looked at. The Pentax, needless to say, is fine.

Until next time,… and sure, why not, I’ll put it into the Archive of Movie Premieres as well

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