berndt2

Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

The Wolverine Premiere - Jackman! Mangold! Janssen! More!

The weather was hot and balmy on a London afternoon for this one, and I was in the rare and terrifying situation of having two cameras containing just two batteries between them, (1) a battery that had not been recharged since being used to take about 1000 photos on a dual-Zombie event photography weekend (!), and (2) a battery I’d purchased not one hour earlier and removed from its plastiform packaging and found that it had some kind of latent preloaded charge contained on it.

How was that bit of madness going to go down? Weirdly, without a problem….


If somebody puts a giant metallic and spiked sculpture blocking pedestrian throughtraffic in Leicester Square and justifies it on the basis of ‘Art’, I’m pretty fine with that. But if it’s for another standalone Wolverine sequel then that concerns me infinitely more.


Woman standing with her back to giant crossed Adamatium claws. Could be a metaphor for something I guess. It’s pretty late and I’m hydrating with some kind of liquid that I’ve mixed with another kind of liquid and a lot of things are looking like metaphors from where I sit. Still.. premiere. London. All good.


“OMG It’s Will Yun Lee!!!!” Well of course. We’re all fans of cough Die Another Day, Total Recall (2012), Elektra (2005) and the Red Dawn remake that sank without trace last year. I kid… the Total Recall remake was only sub-par. The other movies were all terrible though.


“Rick! Rick! I also loved you in Torque (2004)” Oh, wow. W.Y.Lee was in that movie, too? All I remember from that movie is the blonde lady on the DVD cover and that it featured a product placement for Pepsi and Mountain Dew so extreme my brain still hasn’t erased it from my subconscious.


The almost impossibly pretty Tao Okamoto arrives, and my camera finds an easy candidate to photograph. The professional photographer on the left appears to consider Hugh Jackman’s hand and arm to be a more viable subject. I guess that’s what makes a professional.


The man, the myth, the sideburns, the incredible three-word cameo in ‘XMen First Class’ – it’s HUGH JACKMAN!!


Famke Janssen swishes her hair just so, and via a complicated series of interrelated events causes rain in Central park instead of sunshine next week.


Rila Fukushima on the right plays Yukio in the film. Her filmography contains only one other movie, released in 2010 and whose rating on imdb is even lower than X-Men Origins : Wolverine. Wow. Meanwhile, the dude on the left is just some guy.


“Dude, if you want to audition for the role of The Silver Surfer then do it with my blessing” I can’t believe they’re bothering to reboot Fantastic Four. I mean.. didn’t you know they were doing ANT MAN? Why reboot a failed franchise when you can launch a bizarre new one? Director James Mangold, ladies and gentlemen.


“Dude, I know the soundtrack to Man of Steel effing rocks, but could you at least listen to what I’m saying?” I dunno… the track ‘Transformations’ on that soundtrack is almost ten minutes long but it’s bloody amazing.


Rika Fukushima’s dress is a shimmering metallic blue and black, something I choose to commemorate by converting this image to black’n’white.


In contrast to Rika Fukushima, the beautiful Tao Okamoto has NO acting credits to her name on imdb, which points out merely that her height is five foot nine-and-three-quarter inches. Thanks, imdb.


Famke Jansson has played the character of Jean Grey across three X-Men movies (and died twice according to the actress), however she’s also known for playing the hilariously titled agent Xenia Onatopp in the James Bond film Goldeneye (1995).


Famke Janssen’s hair goes on a maiming spree. Injures six. Survivors said to be feeling honoured that they were chosen for its next feeding.


Meanwhile, in excellent news for fans of scraggly grey hair, Director Dexter Fletcher is getting invites to and attending premieres to movies he’s not connected with again!!


“Come on guys. Give ‘Torque’ another chance. It should still be available on VHS in some territories”


I don’t really know whether whatever they’re breeding to make these so-called “SteakChickenRibs” is legal or even ethical, but right now I could totally try some.


As stated, blue and green shimmering metallic dress. Though to be honest, London’s been having a bit of a heatwave of late, with temperatures above 29 degrees celsius. The metallic sheen could be heat haze coming off a matte dress.


Me and the dude with the pastel aqua mobile phone in the background totally caught both sides of that air kiss between Hugh Jackman and Famke Janssen while that pro photographer in the foreground totally had his camera down and the video dude on the right is pointing at nothing in particular.


“The dress? It’s a pastel salmon”
“Yes, but is that some kind of funky new Japanese design house or just the colour?”


Fans of Sunshine (2007), Rush Hour 3 (2007) and The Last Samurai (2003) will of course remember Hiroyuki Sanada. I myself have watched all three of those films and don’t. However I did watch and quite enjoyed Speed Racer (2008) and I remember him from that.


“Yeah, I’m taking a photo of the red carpet hilarity at my own premiere. You got a problem with that?” Not at all – I actually think ALL directors should acknowledge that it’s pretty awesome to have a premiere in Leicester Square. James Mangold, incidentally, directed Walk the Line (2005), Girl, Interrupted (1999) and 3:10 to Yuma (2007), none of which I’ve thus far watched. I’ve watched Copland (1997) and Knight and Day (2010) however.


“Check out the Serif on that ‘E’… it’s insane!.” (Woo!)


“This man, meanwhile, hasn’t even watched the PRIOR Wolverine film, so how can he judge? Also, I hear that the girl he likes doesn’t like him” Wait.. what? Well, that was brutal. Thanks for the honesty though, Mr Jackman.


“I just thought he needed to hear it from me so that it’d make an impact, is all” Fair call. Hugh Jackman, incidentally, starred in one of my favourite films of 2011 – the pretty awesome (no, really!) boxing robots movie Real Steel. (no, REALLY).


Thanks, Hugh

As usual, it goes straight to The Pool Room, in the form of The Archive of Movie Premiere Journals the most recent of which included:

The Worlds End – Pegg! Frost! Pike! Wright!
Pacific Rim – Del Toro! Elba! Hunnam! Kazinsky
Man of Steel – Cavill! Snyder! Nolan! Zimmer! Shannon! Adams!
Hummingbird – Jason Statham! Rosie H-W! Others

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