Joined July 2007

Bernd Talasch doesn’t remember being hatched in a research laboratory in Omaha in the late 1950s so maybe that never happened....

Oz The Great'n'Powerful premiere - Weisz! Kunis! Franco! More!

Well, it’s been about a week since my last premieres ( Cloud Atlas and Stoker ) and the excitement of London Fashion Week and it was time for a new one : and this one I’d been looking forward to for some time : it’s not often that there’s a film where I’ve never photographed five of the main six stars, and not the front of the face of the sixth. I wasn’t willing to miss this one if I could help it.

So here’s how Oz The Great and Powerful went down…

Wearing black and having green skin colour means you’re evil, I take it? (hey, I watched Wicked – that’s not necessarily a given)

It’s an impressive List of attendees. But just for once I’ll settle for just the first row, because with the exception of the back three-quarters of Michelle Williams’ head at the 2012 Baftas, I haven’t photographed ANY of the attendees.

Wait. And I’M still single?

Michelle Williams plays one of the witches in the film. She was also in ‘Dawsons Creek’, ‘My Week With Marylin’ and ‘Shutter Island’. Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen a thing she’s been in. (Wait… she was ‘young sil’ in Species (1995)? I stand corrected. Sort of.)

“I hear you were in an episode of the 1990s comedy Home Improvement once. So maybe you can tell us… whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas post-Lion King?”

Joking aside, Michelle Williams has been nominated for no less than 3 Oscars at her young 32 years of age (thanks, IMDB). Composer John Williams (no relation) meanwhile, has won five. But he’s much older.

Second arrival. Mila Kunis. I was not actually a connoisseur of That 70s Show. But you know, I could learn to be. Like, retrospectively…

Mila Kunis. She’s pretty, and the name is fun to say. That’s all I’ve got — basically she’s pretty and I’m cold because it’s winter in London.

“So there’s this guy over there. Had the start of a pretty good pick-up line, I thought. But he couldn’t quite figure out how to end it…”.

“But enough of Mila Kunis. I just want to say that if director Sam Raimi won’t get up on stage to talk with us, I’ll be doing some freestyle Rap Battling with Zach Braff later!!”

“I’m outta here before that has any chance of happening”

“I’m just saying – I COULD be the next Hulk in the Avengers series. I think they’re doing a thing about never having the same actor play the character twice!” Zach Braff, formerly of Scrubs has a point.

“I don’t think that’s dandruff sir. And to be fair, you’re James Franco, so I don’t think the ladies would mind”

“A man who can look into the middle distance until we find an American Flag for him to stand in front of… James Franco!!”

Stock portfolio doing well, and his online game of Battleship is also progressing acceptably..

“He went G-8. He’s getting awfully close to your destroyer.”

“I know I’m a big star but I do remember the little people. They’re standing way down there, like tiny little ants”
“Those are ants”
“I know”

“The Jar said ‘unisex’. So it’s not my fault it smells like freesias. Now can we talk about a rap battle already? Nothing much rhymes with freesias”

“No, I don’t mind being interviewed by Very Short People. I just prefer to know beforehand, is all” James Franco hosted the 2010 Oscars with Anne Hathaway and I’d like to be the one person out there who says he and she weren’t actually THAT bad. The Oscars are a frikkin Hollywood love-fest. There’s no way to host them except (a) Offensively or (b) Blandly or (c ) Somewhere in between.Until you start handing out some frikkin REAL awards like “biggest ego”, “worst fake hair” and “biggest age difference between an ageing star and a gold-digging wannabe” you have a choice of three, and if you’re offensive then you’re undermining the awards, so that limits your options to two. (Where was I? Oh. Right. Mila Kunis Pretty.)

It’s Sam Raimi. He directed Spiderman 1 and 2. The half-wave he’s doing probably has something to do with him also having directed Spiderman3…

“Beige Jacket, huh? Are you SURE those are in?” Sam Raimi reunites with Spiderman alumni James Franco and composer Danny Elfman in this film. And tan/beige jackets may or may not be in this season.

It’s Rachel Weisz! I’ve never photographed her before (nor Braff, Franco, Kunis, Raimi or a crucial 25% of Williams) – however unlike those, I’d actually begun to doubt even the existance of Rachel Weisz. She generally doesn’t go to her own premieres, or her husband Daniel Craig’s.

“You’d think they’d let Spiderman 3 go by now”
“Based on what the interviewer is doing in the background, they might”

“What do you mean ‘there was a THIRD movie in The Mummy franchise’? I’m sure they would have told me…”

“My outer calf length is even longer! Wait… which one of us does that make a freak?!” Rachel Weisz won an Academy Award back in 2005 for Best Supporting Actress for ‘The Constant Gardner’. Just in case you wanted to know.

When the vein in her neck starts throbbing, you know that she’s pretty, but The Interview is over.

They made a connection that Rachel Weisz and I did not at this premiere. Still… me and Mila Kunis (and even Jennifer Lawrence at the Baftas earlier this month….)

Not the greatest lens flare of all time – that was at Run for your Wife but I do like the blend of three in this one. Also features Rachel Weisz.

Latin Tattoos now? I wonder if the Pope (outgoing or incoming) has dabbled in that….

“They’re not ruby slippers AND you’re not in the movie,… so get off the yellow brick road, lady. Wait… your tattoo is in Latin, you say?”

So… overall I’d say that that was pretty good. Very nice layout, very good music, some great attendees, and although you couldn’t imagine the failure rate (I/we had a fake tree in front of our area) I think overall that wasn’t too bad a way to spend an evening.

A definitely entry at the top of the Archive of Movie Premieres

Until next time!

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