Untitled - a title suggestion would be appreciated.

Ding Ding!
Grace leapt up from her casual barmaid stance and ran to the door. Giddy with excitement she opened the door and found Gilligan the milk man. “Morning Ms Grace, I gots ya milk right ‘ere.” Grace took the bottles from him and smiled widely. “Thank-ye Mr Gilligan.” Gilligan returned a bright smile as he was always delighted when she called him Mr. “Always a pleasure ta see ya beautiful smile, Ms Grace.” And with that said, He turned around and walked back to his route. Grace slumped against the door and sighed as he left and then returned back to the bar.

“Stupid Gilligan, can’t even ask a gal out…” Gilligan was muttering to himself a variety of insults as he left the bar. He had been trying for weeks to summon up the courage to ask Grace out to dinner, but to no avail. He simply couldn’t bring himself to ask a girl of her age out with him. He didn’t think it was right. Grace was not even 18 yet. But still he desired her, her smile was the highlight of his job.

Bill saw Grace at the door with her leg fidgeting and her fingers in her hair. He smiled and shook his head. He had been working with this girl for over a month and she never looked anywhere near happy til she saw him. Then for the rest of the day she would seem giddy and talk to all of the patrons. Originally he had been opposed to the flirting, the girl was only 16 for Christ’s sake! But if she continued to work as well as she did after seeing him, then it made Bill happy. And if Bill was happy then it was good for business.

Grace took the milk inside and apologised to Bill for taking too long, Bill simply smiled and waved her off towards the cool room. Grace wondered if she could legally go on a date with Gilligan. She wanted to so badly but was afraid of what people might think. She decided to ask someone else of their opinion on the matter. Someone she trusted. Someone like Bill.

Gilligan returned home to find that he had no more dog food. “I guess little old Mai will have to go hungry tonight…” He sighed and opened his fridge, went to take out a beer and stopped. He saw the beer and was reminded that Grace would still be at the bar. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before! He could go to the bar and talk to Grace and it was completely innocent, if he was a paying customer then she would have no problem talking to him. And then he wouldn’t seem to be hitting on “the underage girl”. No! He would just be politely chatting with the barmaid. Quickly he shoved the beer back in his fridge, donned his coat and shut the door behind him as he headed on to the bar.

Bill was cleaning the pint glasses when he saw Gilligan through the window heading to the door. He was so surprised that he actually dropped the glass he cleaning for a second but caught it in time. Gilligan had never come to the bar as a patron before. Bill didn’t even think the man drank. But here he was, coming through the door now.

Grace dropped her broom with a thud as she saw Gilligan sit down at the bar. She ran over to the bar deciding then and there that this chance was not going to slip her by.

Gilligan had never been more nervous. It’s just a bar, it’s just a bar. This was his first time ever having actually been in a bar and that combined with his anxiety about talking to Grace had made his heart beat faster than a rabbit. He sat down at the bar and looked around himself. He saw a few gentlemen in the corner wearing black leather jackets and bandannas, a few suits having a laugh while watching the Football on the Television in the corner. He finally then looked up to the bar and saw Grace standing there with Bill a foot or two behind, cleaning the same glass that he had been cleaning for the last five minutes with eyes set on Gilligan. “Why hullo Mr Gilligan, I don’t think I’ve ever seen ya at the bar as a payin’ customer before?” Gilligan noticed that her hands were shaking ever so slightly and wondered if she were as nervous as he.

Grace spoke before she thought. And then she thought. Oh god have I insulted him? why is his mouth moving but he isn’t speaking? Oh I should have never started the conversation! stupid Grace! Stupid Grace! And then Gilligan spoke “I thought I’d try it out. I figured it must be good, what with you ‘ere and all…” They both exchanged smiles and Grace’s heart wept with joy as the conversation continued…

Bill couldn’t believe it. Once those two had started talking, it seemed like they would never stop. Gilligan and Grace just kept talking and talking! And most of the time it didn’t seem that either were paying attention to the words they were saying. They talked about Football, school, music and books. It was the most boring conversation Bill had ever heard. But what he saw was quite different. The affection in each of their eyes warmed Bill. He decided that he would let Grace have this night and stopped bothering her about customers. Tonight was their night.

Grace had just finished telling Gilligan how horrible a teacher Ms Mickleberry was when the clock struck 11. “Oh good god would ya look at the time! I’m sorry but I really must head off Gilligan.”

Grace raised her hand to her mouth and Gilligan knew that she hadn’t meant to name him so informally, but the fact that she did made Gilligan want to leap with joy. “Oh no! Please Grace, would ya consider coming back to ma place?” Gilligan knew that this could backfire against him, but he didn’t think that he could ever replicate the magic that had occurred tonight, he knew he had to take this chance.

Grace knew she couldn’t. Her parents would be outraged. But she had loved this man from afar for far too long. Tonight, she said to herself, tonight I will give myself to him. So she responded with a perhaps a little too eager tone, “Yes! Yes I would l love to go back to your place!” She knew that Bill would object to such an offer so she took Gilligan’s hand at once and dragged him out of the bar before Bill would even notice she had moved.

They had been walking for a while and Gilligan was beginning to wonder if it was truly right of him to do this. He was after all, 5 years her senior. But she was consenting and he had wanted her for too long. Suddenly he was brought out of his thought by Grace. “So… do ya live alone?” Gilligan was a little surprised at the question but his composure did not change. “Not truly, there’s my Mai, but don’t fret bout ‘er. She’s harmless.”

Grace nodded, assumed Mai was a dog and held onto him tighter as they walked. It was a cold night tonight, not raining but the wind was sharp and icy. “How much further to ya place?” He stopped for a minute and pointed at the small house at the end of the street. “Not far at all.”

Gilligan opened the door and held the door open for Grace smiling as she went past. He told her to wait in his room and that he’d be in there in a minute. He pointed her down the hall to his room and went to his bathroom to apply some aftershave. He returned to his room to find Grace laying on his bed wearing only a bra and panties. “I hope this is ok with you Gilligan, I feel I can trust you.” She sounded more articulate than usual and seemed to be choosing her words carefully as she ran her fingers down from her breasts to her waist. Gilligan was aroused and fell into almost a dreamlike state as he removed his shirt and pants and headed over to his bed. None of these had seemed possible a mere five hours earlier and he would have shunned himself for thinking such ridiculous thoughts.

Grace had never been more afraid in her life, but neither had she ever been more overjoyed. Here she was, in the bed of the man she loved, waiting for him to take her. She suddenly felt the call of nature and cursed herself for ruining such a moment. “I’m sorry but could you tell me where the rest room is?” She blushed ferociously and his dumb look made it that much worse. Damn nature! He pointed to a room at the other end of the hall and she walked out of the room. “Don’t have me making you wait, be ready when I get back!” She pranced off down the hall feeling even more embarrassed at her attempt to be sexy. She opened the door to the restroom and sat down on the toilet.

Gilligan almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it. How nature had intervened at such a crucial moment. Least she wasn’t having second thoughts. Or maybe she was. Gilligan lay on his bed in his underwear and closed his eyes, attempting to block out all thoughts of doubt. I hope I left Mai outside…

Grace got up off the toilet and washed her hands. She was starting to feel cold now that the arousal had gone away, it was hard to be aroused while urinating. She turned off the tap and looked herself in the mirror, praying for no imperfections. She seemed to look ok, she thought. Suddenly she heard a very faint “ohhhhhhh” Grace looked around for the source of the moaning noise. “ohhhhhhh” she heard it again. Grace walked out of the restroom and looked at the door opposite her. “Ohhhhhhh” it seemed to be coming from in there. “Ya alright in there?” Grace jumped. “Yeah, I’m fine. Be in there in a minute.” She turned back to the door and decided to open it. “Ohhhhhhh…”This time the sound stopped as she opened the door. The room smelt foul, almost the smell of faeces. Ah! This must be the room where he keeps the dog Mai! Grace felt around the door and found a lightswitch and as soon as she turned it on. She screamed…

Grace fell to the floor in a slump at the absolute repulsion of what she saw. An old woman lay in the middle of the floor, naked and handcuffed. Blood was caked on the carpet at different points and faeces surrounded her. Dried urine reeked and a bowl full of dog food had vomit surrounding it. The woman looked at Grace and smiled. But as she smiled her lips cracked and blood came flowing from them. Her hair was long, gray and knotted with blood. Her skin was wrinkled and covered in sores that looked like red moons on her skin. A whip lay next to her with nine barbed tails. Grace rocked back and forth, her throat refusing to make noise and her limbs no longer listening to her mind. Her mind no longer adhering to coherency. When Gilligan rushed in.

“Grace! What’s wrong?” He entered the room and held his nose. This was not the most luxurious room in the house. Grace was rocking and crying. Her breathing was highly irregular. “TH…TH….TH…..WHAT IS THIS!?” Gilligan was most perplexed at her, He was unsure as to what was bothering her. “Why Grace I told you before. This is Mai, my Mother.”

Finally Grace felt the power of will return. She tore her gaze from the poor woman and looked up to Gilligan. “You’re a monster! You’re insane! What the hell are you!?” Grace stood up shakily and tried to walk through him. “Now, now Grace. We can’t have you leaving now.”Grace looked at Gilligan with terrified eyes as he held her hands. His demeanour had completely changed. “You obviously don’t approve of my mother and I don’t think she likes you much either. Do you Mai?” He kicked the woman in the centre making Grace wince even though the woman made no noise. “I think you might have stay with us for a while. Just so you and my mother dearest can become…. Acquainted.” He kicked Grace towards the woman and slammed the door. “Don’t be getting too chummy you two.” He smiled. “Wouldn’t want my wife to leave me for my mother.” He laughed as he slammed the door. Leaving Grace to weep over and over again.

Bill was again cleaning the pint glasses the next morning when he realised that Grace wasn’t coming. And Gilligan hadn’t been by with the milk either. He sighed and figured the two must have eloped. Well. He’d lost one hell of a barmaid but as long as she was happy then he was happy. And if he was happy, well. That was good for business.

Untitled - a title suggestion would be appreciated.


Joined June 2008

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Artist's Description

this is a a story i wrote for english. i was experimenting with the longer progression til the complication and the switching of third-person view points.
i actually really like this piece, it just kinda came to me after having no idea what to write for two weeks. so thoughts on this one are greatly appreciated, i havent handed it in yet as it is part of a project that i have yet to finish. ESPECIALLY TELL ME! if i screwed up continuity or something is confusing or anything. i want constructive criticism on this.

Artwork Comments

  • Grace Rose
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desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

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