Melbourne, Australia

I love the words that fall between the cracks. / I write with black coffee, and bare feet. / Both seem to help.

the red notebook of 2009

Wherever I go, my little red notebook comes with me. When a line of words makes my head tilt on a angle of curiosity, or brings cackles from my mouth, out comes the pen. My Bubble family have come to expect this, and now it’s more common for them to exclaim “Bell, get the notebook out!” before I even think about it.

I’ve just spent a lovely half hour going through it for the gems of 2009, and thought I’d share them with you. These are just some of the lines I felt compelled to pin down in ink.

Books shouldn’t bitch slap you.
Adrian, talking about reading ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ as a child.

I have proof Shakespeare was never naked.
Lucky Vegetable

I was too busy concentrating on looking good to remember to listen to him.

My god, when men do that to me…I’d almost tell them my real name!
Me, unsurprisingly.

I like to be suckled.
Adrian, though try as I might, I can’t recall the context!

Let’s do it naked, and feed the horses on the way.
Overheard in Bar Open, Fitzroy.

There’ll be no pleasurable pulling in the Echo.
Holly, on our writers’ retreat in Bacchus Marsh.

Our Lady of the Hangover.
Lucky, about the lovely Lisa Jewell.

As if I want you to get the cat pregnant!
Lucky, to Michael Alesich in Bacchus Marsh.

I have a problem with little holes.
Me, talking about crumpets, I hasten to add.

You’re pretty juicy….are you tired?
Michael to Holly, after a four hour writing workshop.

It was a washing machine party, so we went naked.

Who’s going to ride the cockroaches now?
Me, in Canberra to visit the joyous Holly Ringland.

I have speech!!
Holly, after a night of vanilla vodka and thunderstorms.

That wasn’t my drunk fault!
Holls again

That’s beautiful darling…but seriously, where are all the streetlights?
Me, upon arriving in Canberra and expecting a big city.

You’re like an aggressive Jesus.
Overheard on tram.

You’re a pillar of your own instability.
Steph Tout.

You don’t ask if you can vomit on someone, you just do it.
Jess Tremp

Bell, why are you defending Pluto?
Jess to me, upon discussing my upcoming trip to Disneyland.

You know what I don’t like about the martini? The glass. I mean, put it in a fucking schooner.
Helen, on our trip to the U.S.

Be quiet now for Daddy…my medicine is just starting to kick in.
Overheard in Disneyland.

I’m a little frightened now.
Guy in LA supermarket, after I attempted to flirt with him.

If I come to Australia, am I gonna be allowed to funk out?
Drunk guy in an L.A. pub.

Boys don’t take to the wordly nature of crepes.

Why, was it a feminist pancake shop?
Mikey, in response.

Poaching is a beautiful thing.

I wash my feet in Moscato when the weather gets warm.
Lucky in Portsea, on the annual RB trip.

Is it wrong to order a pint and a slab of Mars Bar cake for breakfast?
Tim in Portsea, who proceeded to do just that.

I’m too happy to sit down.
Jess, at her indulgent, loving birthday celebrations.

Don’t make me posture up.

He doesn’t look homeless, he just looks French.
Me, debating the scruffiness of Johnny Depp.

Don’t mess with a redhead with tatts.
Paul Grinzi, casting a wary eye my way.

And the final word goes to Adrian, who, I’ve now realised, is the 2009 star of my little red notebook:
I’ll end up in The Book if I partake in that conversation.

As indeed he did! I’ve just bought my 2010 red Moleskin, and the beautiful creamy pages are just begging for ink to spill on them. I wish you all an abundance of joyous quotes for your 2010, and plenty of laughter to go with them.

Bell x

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