A Dreamy Stream of Consciousness.

My life, it has no meaning,
Life,
Life,
Indeed.

Why? Haha!
Why?
I like this,
I think.

But who cares what I think,
Do you?

I think not dear man,
(I hate to be sexist, but. . .sorry)
Because I am.
Not sexist, I exist.

I think therefore I am.
But if I am, can I think?
I think not.
Am I thinking?

This is an offer.
An offer of truth.
Do you want it?
Haha!

Why not?
I do.
Do you?
Haha!

I am sorry.
My mind wanders.
Truth?
What is it?

It is what we think it is.
Do we think what our senses tell us?
If we don’t, what do we think?
Do dead people think?

Why not?

Haha!

Dead.
What is it?
Im smiling.
Do I like this?

I don’t like dead.

Do you?

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Say it four more times in your head.

Haha.

Dead, head, bed?

Is it?

Why? Why did I say that?
Iambic pentameter some say,
Some say retematnep cibmaI.
Is it sib or kib? (phonetically).

Truth. Truth.
Who wants to hear it?
You?
Are you reading this? You shouldn’t be.

This is me.

Me.

Beep goes the horn of a thousand truths.

Beep, bonk, beep.
Bam. Bam. Bam.

Haha!

Bam, Bam, Bam.
Bam Bam, bam bam bam.
Crash, bang, bam bam bam.
Smack. Am I dead?

I know what you’re thinking.
I don’t care.
Truth you say?
O yes, I remember now.

More.

Haha!

Indeed.

The truth is,
We are here to live,
Or why else would we be here?
To die?

I think not,
For if we were here to die,
Why would we live?
That sounds silly.

How can one die if one has not lived?
Do we live?
So many questions.
One might say:

All these questions nigh but lead me to more.

Ah, yes.
But eventually,
All these questions will lead one to one:
Why?

Not why this or that.
But why?
Why anything.
Haha!

Indeed, is anything not something?
In the words of Socrates:
We know that we know nothing.
Is this not knowing something?

What is knowing?
I go again.
This or that.
Something, nothing, everything.

Haha!

Indeed.

You see me.
Do you see me?
Really!
I didn’t know.

You think you see,
I think I see.
Do I see?
So many questions.

I am truly sorry.

Or am I?

Hahaha!

Again.

Me

You?

I wander.
Again.
Truth?
Is this getting old?

ANSWER ME!!
Why do you not answer me!!!!
I’m SICK!
Sick of this, you, me.

WHY!!

AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

HAHA!!

I’m not sick, you are.
You who say I am sick.
Yes, you!
Indeed.

I know what I am,
You do not.
You who say I am sick,
What have you done?

You can answer me lots of things.
“I walked the dog”.
“I saved a dying child”
“I fucked a man”.

But what have you done?
Not these things.
Not your things.
Not their things.

Haha!

Sorry.
Or am I.
Because I don’t care what you think.
Because you think.

One might ask,
Why don’t I just end it:
“you depressing bastard”.
Why don’t I?

Because I am.
And I always will be.
Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
Why isn’t life?

You see.
I answered my own question.
Passion.
It is but menial.

When we become corpses.
Lets celebrate now.
All these flesh and bones,
Let me push you against the wall,
Tightly.

And enjoy.

Splish, splash, splosh.
Water drops,
Locks.
What you stop.

Boom, boom, boom,
boom boom boom,
I am very much alive,
Are you?

Why?

Answer me this.

A Dreamy Stream of Consciousness.

Bellatorius

Slane, Ireland

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This scares me even now…

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