What I will tell my children

In life
you will make mistakes
you may run
fast and far
flee comfortably
and live life aimlessly
But when you become strong
you will be forced to deal with where you went wrong
skies will be as beautiful as anything you have ever seen
fit for an amorous daydream
But with all things
comes memory
You will remember
cloudy days
as they cast grey skies
and happiness will die
like a star
the dust you breathed in
will settle
in the cracks
in the smile lines
it will reset
your thoughts
back to default
like a system restore
revert you right back to where you fucked up
and you will be forced to suck it all up
drink it down like a champ
take it like a man
you will be forced to reckon with
everything you tried to forget.

In life you will go far
but never forget anything that made you who you are
my broken parenting
my problems, made yours
my issues, that scattered your mind’s floors
my faults that became locked in your hearts vaults
my wayward soul that tried to repair every hole
Remember what I sacrificed
try to feel how I let go of all I had sufficed
to make life better for you

Know that I built what I could
out of nothing much
know that I loved you
even if you didn’t feel such
find peace while you are growing
in knowing
that you did so much
without me having to force anything upon you

Every time you cry I weigh the meaning of your tears
every time you ask me for something
I try
and when I do I know there is a consequence to yes or no
know that my “yes” is often misguided
my words, chided
seem to mean so little
when a lesson is not learned
I hope that you know how concerned I am
when my little girl, and my little man
treat each other so poorly

Sometimes I wonder
before I fall asleep
into a hard to find
heavy lidded slumber
what I can do now
too little
too late
It must be hard
for the two of you
to understand
a mother who can barely concentrate
who lets so much slide
I wonder if you are aware of how many times I have died
how many times I tried to make everything up to you
while you chewed fast food
and I was glued to nothing

It hurts that while I am still trying to find something
you are growing
faster than I could have ever imagined
way beyond my concept of control
I am never really ready
always late
begging for my past to never become your fate
and praying that you will truly catch on to reality
before I do.

What I will tell my children

Butterflies&Bullets <3


  • Artwork Comments 4

Artwork Comments

  • Donna19
  • Butterflies&Bullets <3
  • Donna19
  • Butterflies&Bullets <3
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