Life is life

“Hey Ben you getting in, or are you to chicken?” a boy yelled from the water.
“Oh shut up Tom, I’m getting in,” Ben responded.
Ben ran up to the edge of the water and stopped, thinking if he jumped in he may hit something, something like a rock. Then Tom yelled, “Come on, stop being a pussy and get in already”
Ben jumped, he didn’t hit any rocks but the water was cold and gave him goose bumps all over. After he had got over the coldness of the water, he began to swim towards Tom, who had now grabbed a log from the side and was sitting on top of it.
“Hey, you took your time,” said Tom with a grin on his face.
Ben thought that Tom was annoying, but he was his friend so he put up with him anyway.
“Yeah I’m still sore from soccer practice,” Ben tried to explain.
Tom replied with a sarcastic, “Yeah right.”

I see him there,
On the grass,
Standing there,
Thinking,
Looking,
Looking,
So,
So,
Hot,
Come on,
Come on jump,
Jump,
Get that body wet,
Come on,
Oh,
Oh yes,
You jumped,
Yes you did,
You look so hot from here,
So,
So hot,
You’re coming this way.

What am I doing?
Why can’t I jump?
Why?
People do it every day,
No-one’s else has hit a rock,
Have they?
That I know at least,
What if I do?
It would hurt,
It would hurt a lot,
But if I don’t Tom will think I’m chicken,
It’s cold,
Will it hurt?
I have to jump.
He’s shouting at me now,
What do I do?
I’m going to jump,
Yes,
Yes I will jump,
My heart’s pumping,
The adrenalin is racing,
Racing,
Racing around my body,
I feel,
I feel free,
Weightless,
Has time stopped?
No,
No it hasn’t,
My body plunges into the water,
It hits me like knives,
Like a thousand knives all at once,
I have to swim,
I have to warm up,
He’s calling again,
I must swim.

“ Hey Tom, where are the other guys?” Ben asked when he reached the log.
“Oh they went for a run first, speaking of which, there they are,” Tom replied.
“Hey Ben I’m gunna go get them, ok,” Tom said and without waiting for Bens reply, he jumped off the log and begun swimming to the rocks. He was a good swimmer, so it didn’t take long for him to reach the side. The guys on the rock had seen him and ran to meet him.
“Hey, did you have a nice swim?” one of the guys asked Tom as clambered up the rocks.
“Yeah great, how was your run Dan?” Tom replied.
“Yeah it was good, me an Rob went right round, Rob fell behind a bit but yeah it was good,” Dan said with a bit of a laugh in the middle.
“I didn’t fall behind, you took off,” Rob protested.
“Yeah what ever makes you happy,” Dan said sarcastically.
They all looked at each other, then they started to laugh about the whole thing.

Look he’s swimming to that boy,
There,
On the log,
He’s even better,
Can’t see their faces,
I could imagine them together,
Doing stuff,
And I could watch,
Oh he’s leaving,
He’s swimming this way,
I’ll run down there,
Down there on the rocks,
A better view.

“So you guys wana come out to the log?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, ok,” the boys responded.

Oh come on jump,
Jump,
If I yell again my lungs will give in,
Come on,
Come on,
Finally,
About bloody time,
Fuck he’s a woos,
I wish my mum and his weren’t friends,
Then mum wouldn’t make me be so nice to him,
He’s just so fucking annoying,
He’s like two years younger than me,
Bloody grade eight’s they’re annoying,
I’m sure I wasn’t when I was in grade 8.
Was I?
No,
No, definitely not.

“Ok last one to the log is a rotten egg,” Dan yelled just before he jumped in, catching everyone unaware.

“Hey slow down, you’re gunna leave me behind,” Rob shouted as Dan disappeared around the next bend. When Rob ran around the bend, there was no sign of Dan, anywhere. Where had he gone? It was if he’d just disappeared.

The other boys jumped in to the water after Dan but they really had no hope, for they were all soccer players, it was Dan who was the swimmer and he let the other guys know he was the better swimmer whenever he could. The boys clambered up onto the log with Ben.
“Hey watch it guy, you’ll flip it over,” Ben said in an annoyed voice. No sooner had he said this, than it happened. The submerged part of the log thrust out of the water and flipped all the boys into the air.

Oh what is he doing?
He says that I take my time,
Bullshit,
He’s a fucken woos,
He’d talk for hours if he could,
Even if he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

Look at him,
In the water,
What’s he think he’s doing,
Swimming?
Bullshit,
That’s not swimming,
That’s fucken splashing,
Splashing with some movement in a direction.
Hey where’d Rob go?
I thought he was behind me,
Oh there he is,
He took his time,
Slow bugger,
And I’m the swimmer,
He’s meant to be the runner,
Surly he should have won.

Oh great,
Dan,
Where’s Rob, I wonder.
Oh there he is,
I’ll swim over to them,
Ben’s too slow,
I’ll just go,
Better tell him though,
AAHHH SHITT that’s cold,
Shouldn’t have dried out on the log,
I should do swimming,
Why don’t I?
Oh yes,
I remember,
Cause Dan is school swim captain,
He’d fucken kill me in the pool,
And he’d let me know it too,
Fucken show off.

“Good one, I’d just got dry,” Ben whined.
“Oh stop your whining you baby,” Tom said with an annoyed tone.
“Ok everyone, just get on slowly and if it is gunna tip just get the fuck off,” Dan ordered taking command.
This time it worked, everyone climbed up on the log and it didn’t tip, the log was half submerged but not tipped over. The log was now mostly under water so the boys were all shivering and had goose bumps all over the upper half of the bodies where they were wet and exposed to the cold wind.

I can’t wait till this weekend,
I’ll show him,
Yeah I will,
That bastard from brooks,
He wont beat me this time,
No,
No,
No way he’ll win,
I will win,
I will be state champion,
Me,
Me state champion,
Not him,
I can see it now,
Half way through the race,
He’s just behind me on the last turn,
I get around the last turn,
Then,
Then I take off,
Not looking back,
Not stopping,
Got to keep going,
I’m going so fast,
Crap I’m fast,
Ah,
Not cause I’m swimming,
But cause I’m running,
Fuck,
Hey where’d Rob go?
I thought he was behind me.

“Hey guys, whose got the time, cause I’ve got to be home at like five for tea,” asked Tom.
“Five? That’s a bit early isn’t it?” replied Dan.
“Yeah my parents are going out, so we got to have it early, cause they want to eat as a family,” Tom said rolling his eyes.
“Its only three, you got ages,” Rob said as he looked at his watch.
“Cool, thanks,” Tom said with gratitude.

Oh look,
Look at him there,
Swimming this way,
Why am I licking my lips?
Why am I thinking this?
No,
No,
No,
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel this way?
Why?
Why?
Why?

Ah I wish he’d shut up,
All he does is complain,
Complain,
Complain,
Complain,
He needs a good smack around the face,
That would fix him,
Mum would kill me though,
But he’s so fucking annoying,
And he’s such a baby,
If any one touches him he fucken sooks,
In P.E. he gets changed in the toilets,
What a woos.

“Come on who wants to race to the rocks?” Dan asked, in that commanding voice again.
“Why? We already know who’s gunna win,” Tom answered back with a look of oh not again on his face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?“ Dan replied, angryly.
“You know exactly what it means you big show off,” Tom answered in a pissed off voice.
“So this is how you guys feel, is it? Ok then I leaving, you guys are all up yourselves,” Dan replied just as he jumped in the water and started swimming toward the rocks while leaving the other boys wondering what did we say, it was Tom.
“Fine then, leave,” Tom yelled at him.
“Oh that’s great Tom, he was our only way of getting home? How are we going to get home now?” Ben whined in that voice that Tom hated so much.
“Ok stop complaining, I’ll go talk to him,” Tom said as he jumped into the water after Dan.

Look at them there,
Sitting on the log,
Why,
No I must stop,
Why am I thinking this?
What’s wrong with me?
What would they think if I told them what I am thinking?
What I had thought.
What would they say?
How would they act?
They would say?
They would say,
Fag,
Poof,
And,
And,
Get away you disgusting pervert,
I know they would,
Cause that’s what I’d say to someone,
Someone like me,
Someone looking at me,
And thinking like me,
Why do I feel this way?
Why,
What’s wrong with me?
Why should I live?
Do I deserve to live?

“Hey you’ve been quiet,” Ben said to Rob after Tom had jumped off.
“Yeah I’ve just been thinking,” Rob replied.
“Oh what about?” Tom asked now intrigued.
“Nar it’s nothin,” Rob said with a sigh.
“Hey, have you ever wanted to try stuff?” Rob asked Ben.
“What do you mean, what kind of stuff,” Ben replied with a now confused face.
Robs hand started moving towards Ben’s leg.
“You know with other guys,” Rob said.
“You’r not making any sense, what do you mean?” Ben asked more confused than ever.
Tom’s hand was almost on Ben’s leg. When Ben felt the hand touch and move up his leg he jumped and felt back on the log. Rob was surprised at the shock in Bens reaction for he was being hysterical. Ben was now lying in the fetal position with his hands on his arse and yelling stuff like,

No,
No,
No
Don’t touch me,
Please don’t
Please don’t touch me,
I don’t want to,
I’ve been good,
Please don’t touch me,
I said no,
I said no,
Why?
Why are you doing this?

A hundred and one things were going through Rob’s mind.
Did I do that?
Did I do that to him?
One of my friends,
What have I done?
I am no good,
What am I?

“Are you alright?” Rob asked, concerned and scared, while he tried to turn Ben over to see how he was. Ben just shook his hand off and started screaming, “Don’t touch me”. Now this completely freaked Rob out, he jumped off the log and started to swim down the river furiously. He was thrashing his arms trying to get somewhere but really going very slowly.

What have I done?
What,
Have,
I,
Done,
I am bad,
I don’t what to feel what I feel no more,

What’s he talking about
Is he?
Is he implying that I’m a show off?
It’s in his eyes,
That fucker,
Those fuckers,
It’s in all their eyes,
Well fuck them,
They can all walk home,
That’ll teach them,
Yeah,
Have fun walking.

Fuck off Tom,
He always goes too far,
How are we going to get home now?
My parents are going to kill me,
My dad will punish me
I don’t want it,
No,
No,
I don’t,
It hurts,
I hope his parents do to,
It will serve him right for being an ass,
To be punished for once,
Robs been quiet?,
Oh,
What’s he talking about,
What’s that?
What’s that on my leg?
I’ve felt that before,
I’ve had that before,
No,
No,
Not again,
Stay away,
Stay away,
Don’t,
Don’t,
Don’t touch me,
It hurts, it hurts.
Why,
Why are you doing this?
Why,
I thought you were my friend?
Ahh the hand,
No,
No,
Don’t touch me,
Don’t, don’t.

Not again,
What a show off,
Fuck off,
I’m not being made a fool of again,
Not this time,
It’s your turn,
Go on,
Piss off,
Oh what’s he whining about now,
Shit,
He was our lift,
I’d better go get him then,
Shit that’s cold.

Rob swam down the river, down, down as far as he could. There he stopped unable to swim any further, he clambered up the rocks with the last of his energy. He went up and up and up until he reached the top where he just stood and could see for miles. He stood there and looked out over the city, past the gray walls of the buildings and beyond the heavens, then he looked down and saw not water but ground, for on one side of the rock was water and the other, hard ground.

“Hey wait Dan,” Tom yelled running up the grass. Dan stopped, turned and said, “What do you want?” in an aggressive voice.
“I just want to say sorry, but you have to admit you do show off a bit,” Tom said in an apologetic manner.
“Ok maybe a little,” Dan admitted.
“A little!” Tom replied sarcastically.
“Hey don’t push it,” Dan laughed. All of a sudden a yelling echoed all around the river,
Don’t touch me! Again and again it echoed. The boys looked at each other completely freaked out. Then they recognized the voice, they turned and run to the water where they just saw Rob jump off the log, leaving Ben there on the log yelling again and again, “don’t touch me.”

“Hey I found something,” a man shouted down the cliff, he wore a uniform of blue and white. Another man climbed up, this man is in no uniform, he wore faded jeans covered in dirt and rips. The man stood where Rob once stood.
“Hey there’s something on the rock, There’s something you should see,” the man in the uniform told the man in jeans.

My body in the light,
My soul in the dark,
My heart is reaching out,
And my lungs are closing in.
Life has left me,
For I have sinned,
My body goes to the ground,
While my soul goes to the sky,

I was acting a bit like a show off,
Yeah I guess,
Don’t push it,
What’s that?
That sounds like Ben,
That is Ben,
What’s going on?

The man just sands there,
Not moving,
Not saying a word,
He stands there until the dark has come,
He stands there until a voice emanates from below.
“Hey, we’re moving the body.” It bounced up the rocks to the men on the cliff.
The man turned around and was now exactly facing where Rob was once facing
Then he spoke, I am sorry for when I caused you your pain and for that I will not hide in shame. I did not help in your life, but in your death I will be by your side. Not for pleasure, or to hide, but to help you with what’s inside.
“I can not hide.”
“I will not hide.”
Those words,
Those words were heard.

The last words that left his lips as his body hit the ground,
The ground next to the boy,
The ground next to Rob,
Now he could not hide.
A whisper in the air,
Is heard by the men around,
A whisper of love and despair,
A whisper of a man who was once lost,
But now is found.
A whisper that says

“I love you, son”

Life is life

awhispofair

Launceston, Australia

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

i do not need to describe this story for that is for it to describe its self to you

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