Concoctions of Want

[Sometimes I just get lost in thoughts of the future… and I just need to let my mind push it all out on paper…]

I’m feeling unsettled. And I like it. I don’t want to live a sedentary life, never leaving the safe bubble I’ve come to know. I want to go and meet people with new wisdoms and see places I’m tired of imagining in my head. I want to live the life I never dreamed of, the life totally unexpected.

Sure, I moved to a town 4 hours away from home to go to college. But I followed my brother. I was still clinging to the familiar. I didn’t honestly roll the dice. I folded, ran away from opportunities that I’ll never know.

I’m not saying I’m unhappy where I am – on the contrary, I’ve never been happier. It just makes me think, if such a small step away from normalcy, from the expected, did so much to make me happier and wiser… how much more could I gain from really stepping out there, out into the world that I long to experience?

I want to write what I never thought I would think. I want to paint things I’ve never seen. I want to photograph something no one has noticed. I want to play instruments and learn to know music. I want to see the world for myself, not through anyone else’s eyes. I want to take this routine, this formula that is shaping who I become, and give it a good jarring. There is so much out there to learn, to accomplish, to encounter, to be. There is so much out there…

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