Your two new parties

The secret tapes I was able to obtain from a source that asks to remain anonymous .

If you’ve ever wondered why these sources choose to remain secret, I’m here to clear it all for you. I paid the guy, under the table, money unreported to the IRS. Dirty money I took from my publisher, who has no scruples either. As he says, or asks. Why should I ? Every one we talk to is dirtier than a drugged out street walker in Venice………………………..Venice California..
So here it goes
I’m sure you are aware of the 2 new parties,the tea party now being countered by the coffee party. Of the two and at first glance, The Tea party seems the most oblique. They refuse to specify which kind of tea. Is it green tea?. This conjures images of ties with China.Is it chamomile? Ummm, ties with hippies hiding out in Oregon. So they remain mum. The coffee party is a bit less deceiving, but still, no word on whether it’s decaf or hard core.
All of this leads to the same old polarized extremism. Till now!. My sources, which ask to, oh wait , I already explained , tell me there are 2 new parties around the corner.
What are they?! I scream at the top of my voice, and what’s with the mask?.
OK says my source, I’m going to tell you, but don’t yell. The new parties are The Tea and Crumpets Party and the Coffee and Donuts party. These parties are much more open and honest. The Tea and Crumpets or the TTC make it clear that they have a tie with Great Britain, who have immense holdings in the USA. they tells us also, that they are playing this tie to tease China, who wants a piece of the pie, er crumpet. But the party fears 2 things. They would have to go green and this would ally them to Al Gore. So, even though China owns 99% of the good old USA, the idea of China and Al Gore in the same room is a definite deal breaker. The TTC party is sponsored by the American Diabetes Society. As we know Crumpets have no nutritional value and could make Americans even fatter, which plays right into the Diabetes Society’s hand. Imagine the trillions in medication this enlarging condition could bring. So, the ADS is a powerful ally.
Not too shy to the fray, the Coffee Party, or CP, announces the alignment of the “Dougnut Council of America”, the DCA, to it’s wings. The way our product is made will clog millions of additional arteries and endear us to the AMA and it’s surgeons. Think of the products this group can promote. Like Veins Roto Rooters, hydrogenated fat, twice hydrogenated fat and more.
If all of this seems a bit unhealthy and invasive ,well, you’re shortsighted. Think of the millions of new jobs created as a by product of these 2 group hugs. After all, what would you rather be in these horrendous economic times, unemployed or dead?.
So, rally your troops and get the vote out. Yes, change is coming…………….at a drugstore near you

Your two new parties


Launa Hills, United States

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The Tac-pee and the Cad-pee are coming

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