Turning back to paper and camera

Life continues to move forward, dancing and darting through sunny rainy days, happiness and sorrow. This year has been particularly turbulent for me – divorce, downturn in my business, internal struggles with business partners (who are also my family), and the recognition that things haven’t turned out the way I expected they would.

A few months ago, I found my first journal. I was unpacking my life from boxes as I tried to turn a new house into a home. I’d won the journal in a writing contest; at age 18 it represented the finest accomplishment of my life. Leather bound with gold edges and the faintest traces of lines on its 150 pages, the journal was my first totem.

In writing I found a release from the harsh realities of life. I could create what I hoped for here, not what I saw or experienced every day. For a young man taking his first steps in the real world, it was an extraordinary feeling of freedom. Through my writing I found my own voice, a voice which carried me through college, graduate school, and on to lead my family’s business.

As I read the musings of a past me, I found a person who I had lost – the boyhood me with dreams and hopes of happiness and wonder, a person whom I realized I greatly missed.

So as I sit today, in the midst of another crisis, I find peace and solace once again in the works from my camera. I can’t claim the skills of many of my redbubble compatriots; I am at best a novice compared to most of you. At the same time, I think I share a bond with everyone who hopes to bring their emotions and aspirations to light through their artwork. So I sit in a coffeeshop drinking coffee and editing photos from long ago (thank God for digital editing) and feel a sense of peace and calm.

These are my thoughts today. Any feedback?

Journal Comments

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