from the inside out

revealed knowledge
is the only knowledge
I acknowledge
it is never habitual
or practical
it changes everything
from the inside out

I tried to destroy
everything beautiful
and it began to get
but then ugly began to be beautiful

startled by sudden quietude
I wonder what the reason could be for it
as if everything even absences
happened for a reason

yes I have nothing
but I did not waste my time
getting it

what doesn’t seem to change
is what I always feared
that there is no change
underneath all the changes

life is focused almost exclusively
on money
for the poor
who have the least of it
it takes so much work
for the poor to remain poor

creative imagination
is what is murdered first
after being ridiculed
and ostracised
after witnessing it again and again
in schools
I would shovel dirt on it at work
as if it was me
while conjuring it back to life

I worked 3 years at my last job
not once was I engaged in an interesting conversation
with staff
cliches with a flocked emotional glaze
soft fuzzy inanities
which is typical of social work
for the elderly

the retirement plan
how to take one’s life with one’s own hand
rather than hand it over to paid helped

we do “personal care”
“assisted living”
hygenie supermarkets and such
my job was to mainstream misfits
and I miss those lunatics the institutionalized
unclassifiables who would stay up all night
talking to themselves chain smoking
the people who don’t want to die
or live as freaks and outcasts
crying in the wilderness of malls
in the monopoly of suburbias
I would tell them “normalization” is a crime
against humanity

driven mad with hopeless longing
said a movie
and it stuck to my skull
like spent gum
on my shoe
something you can’t get used to
even though you can walk as you chew

“Death doesn’t care about loose ends…”
was the last thing my mother said
to me on the way to her deathbed
or was it me who said it to her?
it is true
that much I remember

from the inside out

Anthony DiMichele

Friday Harbor, United States

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Artwork Comments

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