Well, another year has gone by and here it is. That hurry, scurry, get this, don’t forget that, and will they like it? There is something different this year. Me, that is what is different. I have always been a Christmas nut, decorating, shopping, sending cards, the whole sherade. This year is different though. I won’t be doing any of that whole sherade. I have not even been to the store to shop yet, and probably won’t go. My husband will probably finish up the shopping this weekend…yes this weekend with all the psychos! I haven’t even baked a cookie yet..which is so far out of context for me! I am attempting to shake myself out of this state, but it isn’t easy. Medications make me fuzzy and I lose track of time and days run together. I am having my grand-daughters over this week just to try to get myself into the “spirit.” We will bake cookies and that is my beginning of trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I can’t do all of those things this year because I’m not working and the old back just won’t let me. I can’t shop because 5 minutes into the trip I will be to the point of tears and the funds are much lower this year due to the lack of a second paycheck. It doesn’t mean we won’t have the big day, but it will mean that I will be way over-medicated just so I can participate in the big event. It also means that I won’t be cooking the big dinner and my daughter will take over that task for me..which is okay because she will enjoy doing this for me. So today, I will try to look up and gain some inner strength to begin to feel somewhat pleasant about the “Holidays.”

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