The Incredible Emptiness of Loss

For two years they were his everything,
They were his world, his future, his present delight and his treasured memories,
But now he has ruined everything and they are now just strangers to him,
That world is over now and nothing is left of it,

Much as he has left, much as he has still to give praise and thanks for,
His heart grieves the loss of them as if they were dead,
He is struggling to cope with facing up to the reality of it,
He longs to be able to convince himself that it was all just a bad dream,

And then suddenly there is a glimmer of hope,
Her stance begins to subtley soften toward him,
Yet he has become suspicious now as to the real motives that lie beneath,
It might just be her realisation that she can be put to use even what she despises,

Could it be that he simply willed that hope to appear although it was imaginery?
Like the appearance of water to a desert traveller who has none, a mirage,
Did he agree too quickly to requests he knew she made only in desperation?
Only for want of the courage to make the same requests of his replacement,

However hard he wills himself to bury his love for her,
He cannot fail to realise that this is a futile aim,
And the delicious dream of full reconciliation takes a hold of him,
Its promises are the answers to the innermost yearnings of his heart,

Could he really manage to give her his every assistance with good grace?
With tenderness and love, even when it was unreciprocated, even when thrown back in his face,
Could he listen to her as would an uninvolved friend when she spoke of her ‘lovelife?’
Could he simultaneously carry the burden of rejection and still not demand acceptance?

Then suddenly he is giving her his every assistance with good grace, or at least trying to,
And he no longer even remembers asking all those questions,
He will take any affection she is prepared to give him in whatever form it comes,
Hard as the burden is to carry just a thought of the alternative total seperation makes it bearable.

But the nagging doubts remain, the awkward words rear their ugly head,
He cannot simultaneously refuse to let go and ignore their significance,
Adulterer, deciever, sinner, rebel, back slider, fornicator, he has no defence,
He had pursued her in plain disobedience to the Word of God,

And now in taking ownership of the spirit of regret, a sense of loss became his portion,
Yet can one really loose something one stole? Something that was taken not given,
Had this whole drama been a fabrication of his mind, a mere disguise,
A disguise to cover up his continued rebellion against the will of the Lord Almighty,

A deception in which his lustful sinful pursuit of a prospect offered illegaly and in bad faith,
Was painted with a thin veneer of romanticism and labelled as a burden of love,
A burden of love that must have been given by someone, could it be God?
That question left unanswered masked a despicable anger against the most Holy,

Though that anger was so mercifully revealed and so gently confronted,
Can this deception truly have been banished if even a flicker of that ‘love’ remains?
Is the hope of the preservation of a friendship between them even appropriate?
Must he be forced to sever all links, to cut all ties, to choose willingly to make them as strangers to himself?

The Incredible Emptiness of Loss

AndrewWakelin

Joined October 2008

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Artist's Description

A snap shot of emotional turmoil.

Artwork Comments

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