CRAZY

I can’t sleep at night. Well I do, but not for that long. I go to sleep in the morning and wake up the same morning. I used to get in bed and close my eyes and try. But all I could do while laying there was think. Now I read. I read on my living room couch. I think too much thinking is bad because it will drive you insane. And you will reach fantasy conclusions and tell yourself "tomorrow I will do that” but it never happens. I once came to the conclusion one night at 4 o’clock in the morning that I will bike 35 miles to San Diego and knock on her door and kiss her. Which would inevitably and miraculously lead to making love not long after. When in fact, after dosing and waking and putting on my shoes for work, never happened.

I also analyze. Guys aren’t supposed to analyze, but I analyze. Girls are supposed to think and think and over think every single situation. That’s what makes them crazy… and different from guys. Am I a girl? Does that make me gay? Or a pussy? Do I have a pussy? No. “No” I tell myself. I have a penis. I have seen it. In the mirror, and in the shower. And I go on from there. I don’t necessarily like to, but I analyze myself. And others…
Remember that girl from Rubio’s? She was cute. Yeah but remember I saw her get off work and when she was outside in the parking lot she hugged that guy. That could mean something ANDREW. But hell, you see that look she gave me after I ordered the fish taco to go in a reeeaaal personal tone, do ya? Yeah but how do you know it was a look? That could just be how her eyes are. Maybe she had something caught in her eye?

I just gave up on thinking. Thinking makes a person crazy. I still go to sleep in the morning, but I read. With reading, someone else is doing the thinking. It comforts me. Instead of me being the only person unsure if I have a pussy or penis, it makes me realize I am with a select few. A few people known as writers are out there, entertaining and informing the “normal” of how crazy, crazy can get.

CRAZY

andrewgarai

Joined April 2008

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Artist's Description

Written late at night when the thoughts are fluent.

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