'Sometimes'

To give up one’s extremes even with all its associated discomforts is untenable.
To exist in the glutinous comfort of what should be.
The confines of sameness.
Please, I’d rather live in what could be.

Exquisite, rather than nice.
Exquisite pleasure, even with its partner, the pain.
I don’t welcome, rather expect.
Don’t want, rather know.
Shades of grey are nice. But black and white are powerful entities.
Defeat to me is the act of not taking life by the throat. Defect in character.
Defeat in the lust for life. Defeat in being.
Blood. Pulse. My me.
I don’t want that. It’s unpalatable. Unthinkable. Impossible.
Did someone once ask ‘To be, or not to be?’
How could one choose not to be?
To deny, and deny, and deny.
Why, why, why?
I recognise the darkness, the searching
the never ending contest
I recognise the endless search
I know the serpent’s quest.
I feel the guilt of a good woman.
Knowing all this.
But as I am, and am also not, a good woman.
That not part of me is unquenchable.
And sometimes if I often feel like I’m running to stand still, well so be it.
To be taken somewhere else, totally away.
To be totally here, and nowhere else.
That is it!
Me soaring. Me roaring. Me igniting. Me
Seeing. Knowing. Knowing.
Who are ‘they’ to deny that?
I defy that!
I will pay the price if I have to.
You don’t scare me life.

'Sometimes'

Maree Cardinale

Sunbury, Australia

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 46

Artist's Description

I wrote this about 12 or so years ago.
A sword was swinging over my head at the time that in a very real sense could have come crashing down and slice my life in two.
Written at a crossroads in my life where the easy thing to do would have been to pull the shutters for awhile and be quiet in the dark hoping the world would just forget me for a bit.
I chose not to do that.

Being afraid and choosing to be brave.

Artwork Comments

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