I Forgive you, Mama

2003

Now that I’m a mother, with two wonderful kids,
I don’t understand it any more than I did
How could you have stood there watching me cry
On the outside I was growing, but dying on the inside
Everything I took from your house into the world
Hurt me just as badly as when I was a little girl

Now I understand the doctor visits, the reason for escape
I remember what you said, I remember reeling from your hate
But I forgive you Mama, I’ll try to stop carrying it around
Sometimes I think it might be easier to just put me in the ground
I thought the only thing I had to offer to this cruel world
Was the same thing I had to offer when I was a little girl

Don’t tell me Jesus loves me, I can’t stand to hear you say the words
You only left me in the darkness, taught me what it meant to hurt
I know Jesus loves me, I am a Lamb of God
Too bad you didn’t realize that, it might have saved your love
All I learned from you I took into the world
Only to realize it’s no different than when I was a little girl

My beautiful daughter looks just like her Dad
Sometimes when I look at her it makes me feel a little sad
To realize what you took from me, the safety and the joy
I could never have withheld that from my beautiful girl and boy
You know they say what goes around comes around,
So I keep taking these blue pills and pushing the memories down
Everything you never showed me about this big world and
All I can remember is being that little girl

I Forgive you, Mama

alanis038

Denham Springs, United States

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

Working to Forgive is a tough journey. Writing has helped me heal in many different ways over the years, and again this is simply the part of the process toward finding life after the trama and allowing forgiveness to free myself from it’s grasp.

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