The Great Pretender

An old artist oblivious of his years strolled along a timeless shore. He was pleased but not at peace with what he had accomplished as he surveyed himself and his work. “I create, but is it Art? I can paint emotions, people, land, thoughts and fantasy. I can make Art from all these, create thought from them and make that which is invisible – physical.” He considered all that he was using words as a canvas for his senses.

I see the bitter
I taste the wind
I feel the colours
I smell the fear
I hear the cold

The transfer of thought into prose brought out questions at his core. A mystery hidden in his age was always there but never acknowledged. Now he wondered aloud to no one there his frustration on what could have been.

“Who are you God?
Where are you?
What have you done?
Why have you gone?
When will you come?”

He viewed all before him. The verse fuelled his depression as it turned into anger. Asking his self, he played the Devil’s Advocate with a passion wanting, needing answers for his solitude.

“Don’t you see and hear?
Don’t you taste and feel?
Don’t you smell the despair?
Don’t you love?
Don’t you care?”

He reflected in a mirror darkly as he stated the obvious.

“I am aware of my self,
I can think and wonder,
I have faith and love,
I am physical and tangible,
I feel other’s pain – do you?”

With the fear of shame gone for his questions he resolved. His rediscovered confidence inflamed his ego.

“Time, space, energy – from you?
They exist because of me.
Beliefs, doctrine, religion – from you?
I made all these.
All that is I made – not you!”

He argued his assertions, his blame to be true with a perverse reasoning. In his arrogance, ignorance he asked, justified with the conscience of a psychopath.

“Where were you in all the wars I made?
Why didn’t you stop the sickness, madness, death I brought?
What is there that I can’t do?
When will you share the Secret with me?
Who are you to keep this from me?”

Comparing his absoluteness, his power and holiness he festered in judgement on the great Mystery. The psychology of self, the ego of id, pervaded his study as he pondered.

“What is life if I know Death and therafter?
Why have life if there is a Heaven?
What keeps me living through all the pain?
Why is the physical so finite, the abstract so infinite?
What gives me the ability to contemplate this?”

As he neared conclusion of his self-analysis and therapy, an insight maybe an epiphany invaded his consciousness as he visualised a circle catching up to itself. His words whispered echoed in his mind prophetically.

“I see the door opening, the finite becomes infinite.
I will know all it’s my destiny.
I will unlock the universe and all mysteries.
I made it so, so long ago.
I see myself seeing myself at the end.”

Glorious in the ingenuity of his own genesis and genius he exclaims in revelation.

“In my likeness I made me that I may continue. I am God!
I am Omnipotent, the Great Creator!
I am revered with no fault, without question.
My future enshrined eternally,
My intelligence hallowed by all.”

Basking in ecstasy on this Holy delusion the atmosphere suddenly turns cloudy. The answer to the Mystery becomes a question.

“But wait…..who made God?”

……by A.J.Isbister

The Great Pretender

Arnold Isbister

Saskatoon, Canada

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

A fantasy self-analysis of a philosopher.

Artwork Comments

  • melynda blosser
  • Arnold Isbister
  • Gregory John O'Flaherty
  • Arnold Isbister
  • WanderingAuthor
  • Arnold Isbister
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