TDH Tale #4

Not another one!
Tall dark haired very bloody handsome [in a boy next door kind of way] and far too young for me again!
So why do I play with him?
Man I’m bloody paying for his time!
Geeze girl he’s your trainer not your boyfriend!
But he’s FUN!
No make that - F * U * N !!!

It’s no doubt in his job description ~ to make the client have a good time while they kill themselves trying to do the physical equivalent of running a marathon untrained every day! But it’s nice to day dream while I exercise – helps numb the pain!

I mean in abs class he just lets me be a blob on the floor. But the last class before Easter I asked him to be my trainer – purely because Bree [beside me in abs] has him and says he’s great [well we can bitch about him together!] – But I couldn’t get the first contact done cos of work and Straddy so I postponed it until after the kids – last Monday [16th]. He rang me twice! [Haha!] to confirm [or was he keen? – No! Stop! That path leads to danger and disappointment!]

When I finally met up with him he was all smiles – I was early! [How I prefer to be!]
He sends me to the bikes – I don’t know how to work a bike other than to sit on it and peddle. That’s what I was doing when he arrived so he pushes buttons and then starts getting me to talk to him. Clever man that – judging my fitness levels by how I can talk and work. [But all the instruction went in one ear and out the other he was so fast and I was not paying attention. – No I wasn’t dreamy eyed I was just busy talking and keeping up with him. The man is ADHD I’m sure of it! He’s on the go 100 to the dozen and talks just as fast!]

“So what’s wrong with you physically?” I begin to tell him so he sits down on the bike beside me. Then he says “Head?” pointing to his temple
“Nup no hope there!” I tell him and he laughs!

He gets up and turns my bike off and then off we go and I’m running [almost – I can’t run actually] to keep up complaining all the while that I was short and he should slow down a tad for me! [HA! Red rag to a bull that one!] And next thing I’m wearing boxing gloves! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! [How I miss the chat room – the innuendos!]

This guy is TALL !!!!
We are talking six foot six … basketball shortie height but needs to duck door frames … tall!!!

He holds his spar-mitt clad hands up at his shoulder height and says hit them! Man the temptation to kick them was VERY prominent! Hit them indeed! So I hit them and after a few punches he’s asking me why is my follow through down at my hips?
‘Because my aim is up above my head! Me short Charlie Jim!’
He cracks up and lowers his hands. So I do a good bout and he changes it a few ways and then I get tired. And [the sweetie] better than making me dribble off in embarrassed slobbery and failure, he’s hitting my punches half way to keep up the slapping sound and my momentum and enthusiasm! [ENTHUSIASM???!!!! YUCK!!! I am not keen on punching! Mind you today I found the focus – from now on I’ll imagine each mitt to be the side of my ex partner and father of my children Jim’s sneering face!]

Punching over, he lets me go get water – I’m so winded but “breathing is overrated” did you know that? “RUN!” he directs I walk shaking my head and wondering if getting water was a good idea after all! Coming back he’s standing watching me hands on hips frowning. This man is info intake overload with every heartbeat! I know he’s watching my stride analysing my limp and my posture and my movement and its hindrances.

No sooner am I back and he’s off again and I’m trotting behind.
Arm strength machine thingy – I couldn’t find it again if I tried! And again the sweetie is helping me by lifting it with me.
“Come on! Get into it! Three more! THREE! Work girl work! TWO! Get it up [down across whatever]! Ca-arn! Breathing’s overrated! TWO! Last one! Up! Up! Up! Come on! Last one! And one! Good!” [You get the idea- he can’t keep count! Three what anyway, three seconds? Not movements, I did about ten in that “last three” sequence!]

Then it’s leg strength machine thingy – at the window but don’t ask me which one, it was silver with a black seat! They all were.
Again his little finger makes light work for me.
‘Huh? No I’m Aries. And you are a Leo!” I was dead certain – he was having so much fun making me ache in places a lady just shouldn’t acknowledge exists!
‘Nup you’ll never get mine.’
‘You’ll just say no to all of them to prove it too!’
‘I’m a fish.’
‘Pisces? Yep you’re right not anything like a fish! You must have such a strong rising in something really nice like Leo!’ I growl out and the sarcasm is not lost on him.
He laughs ‘What have you against Leos?’
‘Ask a Leo that and he’d say every one has it in for him, what’s new?’
Again he laughs!

All done after a last twenty to his five counts down, and he’s off and away with me staggering after him. Back where we’d boxed he decides to body boof me. Strange test for my stability I know but fun!
Then grabs my jacket and strides off holding it out. I walk after him letting him carry said garment until I loose my nerve and fearing he’d drop it, catch him up and take it.
In his office [not only his he shares] we talk about me and my limitations and my goals – ha! To survive his class! He liked my scouting activity, that I ride horses, that at least I like cricket even if I haven’t had much to do with footy. Man he don’t know the half of it. Hockey, ballet, ballroom, jazz, abseiling, canoeing; I have sporting interests that would impress him! But alas all BB [Before Babies]

So we set up that I see him fortnightly @ $35 a session it’s all I can afford – but he’s worth it! I’m worth it! As I keep saying, if I don’t get my body sorted I’ll be chair-bound by 64!!!!

I tell him more about my kids – they live with their Dad so my time is free during the week unless it’s holiday period – and he even wants to know about my brothers and sisters! He’s firing questions at me at an exhausting rate! I want him to come have coffee with me so we can talk at a pace I can follow the conversation at and not when I’m still trying to recover from the onslaught of exercise!

Finally the “audition” [he chortled at that] was over and I kind of thought I should leave but he seemed to not want me to go even though he had his next client waiting. I mean making the new client feel valued is one thing, this was not that. I actually felt I wanted to sit down and talk to him for hours and thought we could. You know that awkward have to go but want to stay thing … but this wasn’t just me, he was in no hurry to send me away. Finally I did the point to myself and the door mime thingy and he smiled.
‘Oh if you must’
‘Well my night’s free but you’re probably a bit busy.’
‘Yeah I am.’ He didn’t sound that enthused about it either.

So he walks me out – god he’s tall! I would have to wear my heels just to hold his hand!

The next day I get to work in the café I help out in and cleaning the display windows is MURDER! I have no strength in my arms! My boss just laughs when I tell her why it’s taking me three times as long. I get to the gym and bump into him.
‘How goes things?’ He grins.
He knew I would be hurting big time! … the sadist!
‘My boss has issues with you.’
‘Your boss? Why?’ That threw him!
‘I couldn’t clean the windows!’
He just laughs!

I needed to inquire about booking into the Pilate reformer class so I’m standing at the wall by the reception and FLICK! I’m slapped on the shoulder.
I look at the reception girls and monotone deadpan face I say ‘I’m goner kill him.’
They crack up.
So when I see him striding up with a client I say to her “excuse me” and promptly slap him in the abdomen with my towel. Douglas Adams was right, towels are the most useful tool!

Back about his office area he’s talking with another trainer as I walk “Past” [yeah right] His hand shoots out, catches me, and I’m standing with them – THAT is NOT in his job description! None of the tomfoolery is! But it’s FUN!
Then he’s ‘You doing abs?’ all official like as if there was a serious reason to stop me.
‘No I’m off to stretch first.’
‘Who’s that with?’
‘Oh right ok. Then you’re doing abs right?’
‘Yep and don’t kill me.’
‘I will!’ he says in mock indignance as if I dare stop him from existing!
‘That’d be right and the class will kill me!’
My brain aches with visions of dagger looks shot at me every time he forgets where he’s at counting us down! He grins as if I’ve given him the best idea in the world for getting someone back! [He’s such a school boy!]
‘I warn you, my boss is Greek and her mother knows how to pickle nuts!’
He explodes laughing and I walk off triumphant!

In abs I let Bree know I’ve taken Dez on.
[Oh Dezmond is his name, buggared if I know his sir name but he is a Pisces, a TALL Pisces!!]
And if he said “Today Ladies” once he said it ten times – and received a poke of my tongue every time!
But there is something scary ….. sinister? ….. about him standing between your open legs to make sure you’re doing the movement right!
And there is something dreamy about watching him demonstrate a movement. I wasn’t a fan of muscles before but that bod would be GORGEOUS! [If I could see it!] Fantasies of him doing push ups in the right position … in the words of Daffy Duck esquire; “mother!” [or was that Sylvester the cat?]

And then tonight.
Now in my real life I’m still day dreaming about Jane Austin’s leading man and his breathtaking romanticism and my ex Jim has started playing funny buggars again! Talk about emotional big dipper! Welcome to the world of a single woman with an unhealthilly frustrated libido!

After gym last night I find a message saying Jim has not agreed to Jim’s proposed court orders so we’re off to court this Thursday. [I still can’t get my head around that! He makes the order proposal and then he doesn’t agree with them!] And then today I get a letter just messing with my principals of the children owning their belongings and equipment.
I get to pay my rent but not phone credit and decide to ask Dez if I can use the phone in his office to ring Bridget my awesome lawyer. In the interim I talk with my brother David and he’s relieved my tension somewhat, but still I go on into the gym.

I forgot it’s open day and flat chat. Someone hands me a bottle and someone else a thimble of fruit smoothy but I can’t see Dez anywhere. [For a TALL bloke he hides well!]
In passing I ask someone if they knew if he was on. Next thing she’s off I thought just to see where he was or do what she needed to do but I had no idea she’d gone off looking for him for me! I was just mooching about the Adidas table when I see him come charging up all concerned.
‘No no there’s nothing wrong.’ I try to stop it, he was busy and she’d pulled him away and all I wanted to know was if he were about! Stupid woman! ‘She didn’t have to find you I was just wondering if you were here.’
‘Ok, but is everything ok?’ he’s still frowning and concerned ‘Are you ok?’
Can he detect I’m stressed and depressed?
‘Yeah fine.’ I tell him lying [and feeling like Drew Barrymore in “Everafter” when she tells the prince [Dougray Scott baby] “No I’m not engaged” – wish I looked like she did!]
‘Ok. I have to get back to a client.’
‘Yes go, she shouldn’t have gotten you, I’m sorry.’
‘It’s ok just so long as you’re ok.’
I was holding his hand in both of mine and pleading him to go but he was still frowning at me concerned.
‘You are ok aren’t you?’
‘I’m ok, go.’

Why did he hold my hand to the very last?

Then I found Rachel and begged a phone call off her. Finally getting onto Bridget at the front desk I’m standing about listening to her legal talk when I hear “Mary Jones report to the front desk” over the loud speaker. Dez must have known I was there he had to have seen me as he came to the desk to call me over the intercom. I crack up laughing but smothering as best I can as I’m trying to concentrate on Bridget.
He comes out from behind the pole smiling like the prankster he is and I poke my tongue out at him then smile back. But I had to show him Bridget’s card and the phone to let him know the call is supposed to be important. His smile vanishes and his face is back with the frown again.
I turn to concentrate on Bridget and then he’s passing me another thimble of smoothy! He brought me a drink!!!!!!
[I must discover his eye colour – and take a wee bit more notice of him me thinks!]

Later I’m standing about waiting for a massage when he comes finds me and in the middle of everything makes me tell him why I was talking to my lawyer. That frown is back and he’s hunched to hear me [I really am short and he really is tall!] Reluctantly I tell him about Jim’s nonsense – it really has absolutely nothing to do with the gym or him really but as per usual my lightening brain finds the connection and I tell him that now I was dearly looking forward to punching something! That makes him laugh and then he hugs me! [Well one arm about my shoulders]

He has to keep going – they were all FLAT OUT! – But he’s eager to see me Monday.
[ But does that mean he won’t ring me on my birthday? Will anyone?]

I get my massage – Wonderful! – [He wasn’t doing the abs class that night anyway] During the massage I heard “Don’t break it” and saw his feet. They were under the table … under my face, while the masseuse was behind my hip, and I wondered why he was there and who he warned of breaking what?
[How come I can recognise his feet and not know the colour of his eyes?]

I then go do my stretch and Pilate’s classes. After class I came out and was telling Rachel about it and he swung out of his office
[If he were to ride something it would have to be a cart horse! – do I still qualify?]
“You still here?”
“I just finished my reformer class” I defended myself “No change to the brain I’m afraid!’ and he laughed
[Did he connect it to our other chat or was it just funny on its own?]
He would have heard Rachel & my convo as I told her about the reformer probably helping my spurs even [oh to walk barefoot again!] and then how I recommended she go see “Becoming Jane” even though it will destroy any man’s chance of ever making us fall in love with them, that leading man oh my god! That dance scene! That woods scene, that trip scene and then the epilogue scene. To see it all again – oh yes please!!!! He could have heard that, I wonder if he did? He was gone before we talked of “Children of Men”.

Anyway he has to teach me about footy! Take me to a match perhaps? Now what else was on that woman’s “How to make a man fall for you” list? Paintball! Ok!

Of course now I’m dreaming big time with him being the leading man! At least he talks! not like bloody silent movie Grant! – hmm yes somewhat the clown but not sure what actor comparison – have to work on that [A bit like Geoff Goldblum but an awful lot more handsome!]

Damn! A whole 4 days before I see him again! Will I last?

Well there’s an end to those day dreams. He’s married with a little daughter!

I dropped in to tell them the good news about the court case – it’s all settled and finalized and the kids will be happy! – and show the gym team my court suit with its BIG jacket [Man! I could fit Rachel in it WITH me now that I had lost so much weight! – Leave a man and shed his weight!! ]
Casually Rachel told me he was taken – they always are!

So humph!
Back again to dreaming of my first love [Dougray Scott/David Essex look-alike] Rick Turner!
Pity, Dez was cute – in a school boy kind of way! How do I survive classes now? …. Quietly.

TDH Tale #4


Frankston, Australia

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Artist's Description

Another Tall Dark & Handsome Man I couldn’t have!
This is one of a few such tales … just a bit of a fun observation of life around me
Grab a cuppa and enjoy :o)

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