Hello…I must be going.

You had such blue eyes,
They were so rich
With compassion,
I hate myself
For getting older.

It’s so long ago,
But to me the past,
Shines like a star,
Regret,
I guess I have some of
That.

Wish I could go back
In time for a day
And see you seeing me
As you used to do.

Though I am not he
That was then.
I am different now,
Though I am still
The same.
The consciousness that looks out
Behind my eyes
Is the same.

I hated myself
For a long time
Back then.
My hand shook
I had to steady it in yours.
Back then
The only other thing that
Could steady it
Was the Bible.

I felt ill for so long,
I hated myself,
My life,
And everything in it.
I healed though,
It took time.

Our son,
Thought it was our
Son.
Yesterdays
Faces still bring a
Few tears.
Would you begrudge
Me them?

Memories hurt.
The pain though
Is bitter sweet.
Not so bitter
That I would have
Preferred it not to be.

I think I am better

In so many ways.
Though the ways that
I shine today
Are different than yesterday.

I think I walked past you the other day.
Thought it was you.
Might not have been.
The walk that you have
Is distinct and hasn’t changed.

Couldn’t see your eyes because of shades,
I felt you see me,
You have become more beautiful.
I feel so less than I was,
Though I think I am more.
Than I was.

Sometimes, rarely on occasion,
I see you in my dreams.
You sit for a while,
You don’t say much,
In the twilight world.
I say a lot.

I ache sometimes to see his face
Just for a little while.
He has never been in my dreams,
Thankfully,
I don’t think I could bear the loss
Of seeing him not there when I awake.

Hello…I must be going.

adamkade

Joined August 2008

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

memories

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