Confessions of an Ordinary Working Mom


I am more than halfway through my lifetime if a lifetime equates to 70 years of life. 36 years sounds a lot but only the last 15 of those have truly set my foot on the door of what I think is called Life - that part of any person’s existence when one begins to think about the future, ponder on the present, and cherish the past. That stage when you acknowledge God, and become cognizant of the many blessings, both obvious and disguised, surrounding your life. With this book I hope to connect with the many moms out there who have deep connection with life, who love to think about life and converse with life. At the same time, I hope to reach out to the hearts of the mothers who think that life at the moment is a lot less of a life and give them something to think about and draw strength from.

Job and Home Life

It used to be that my work did not know any boundaries. I worked wherever I am. Even when I am sleeping, work finds its way to my dreams. But after giving birth to my son, my sense of work took on a different meaning. Work for me now does not only refer to the one which provides me with the financial means to pay bills, but it is now a one big circle similar to a pie chart in which the 90% slice is HOME and 10% remainder is JOB.

Home is a lot of work and literally comes without pay, and so why do I give it the biggest fraction of the pie? The rewards that I get out of the efforts that I put into this slice are life-sustaining and priceless. All hard work put into this area of my life, whether or not it is acknowledged by my husband and son, result into good things that later transform into big, strong, sturdy foundations of my family life. Every inch of love and sacrifice poured into this bucket provide us with the funds to keep our family together and intact for better or for worse.

Job is only 10 percent of the pie but it does not mean that I am not giving it my best. That 10% still gets the 100% it deserves. In all that I do, I still, and will always aim to exceed my colleague, my superiors, and most importantly, MY standards and expectation when it comes to work. After all, this slice provides all the material things that my family needs.

Keeping My Husband (and Me) Happy

Relationships are never simple, including the one that I have with myself. And a lot of people have said this: Love is not enough in a relationship. I almost agree to that but not all way. I think that in every relationship, love is always involved, and it is the object and type of love that differ a lot. I love my husband; very much. And when I say the word love in this context, it is the one that envelops my relationship with him and shields it from the things that will try to break it. It is also the one thing that will keep me and him in it. So sometimes, I think, depending on how you love and define love, love can be enough.

With this love, I work hard every day to make my husband happy. I try my best to make him feel loved even if at times, I feel that I don’t have enough love for myself. Even when I seem to upset him, I know that I am actually working toward making him happy. I know it sounds like a trick … but it is true. My philosophy is to be open to my husband with all my heart and soul. When I feel sad or happy, I let him know. I let him see me like an open book. I would like him to understand the me he fell in love with, the present me, and most importantly, the EVOLVING me. If he can know me and understand me like I know myself or even better than my self, wonderful things happen. The love between us is enhanced and strengthened. And happiness takes root and grows. Loving thoughts transform into actions. It is easier said than done but by doing these things I am able to write these for you from experience. So love…that’s what keeps my husband (and me) happy.

My Precious Son

I must say that it almost seem to me that my son courted me and made me fall in love with him. When I gave birth to him, my love for him did not manifest it self right away. Motherly instinct sustained me and him through the first month, and then one day…just out of the blue, I looked at him and I was bursting with love for him. It has never been the same from that day on. Where did it come from? Why did it take that long? I know the answer to the first question - I strongly believe that love came from a couple who played an important role in my life: my parents. They have given me so much love that I am able to give now to my son and family. And this love never runs out. Even though we live apart, it finds it way to my heart. And through this love, they are connected to their grandson.

My son brings joy to me in words and ways that I have never imagined. I wish I could repay him. One day he will probably come to me and say he owes me lot, but I know in my heart that it is me who owes him so much. His existence makes me a better person each day. I find my self striving to become a better person, a better Christian, a better worker everyday so that I can teach him things by example. I am not rich and there is no way I can leave millions of dollars for him when I pass away. So my goal is to leave behind a legacy worth more than money, which can only give him fleeting success and happiness. I made an oath to myself to give him principles, morals, values, love, wisdom, and faith that will enable him to make it to this world and to the next. And even with that, I feel it is not enough to give back the wonderful things that he gives me in this life.

Being With Me

At the end of the day, I end up with one person who I start my day with: ME. If everything I have right now disappears, I will end up with me. Having said that, I feel that my self has been the most patient and loyal companion I have ever had in my life. And that is why I do my best to keep me sane and grounded. How do I do that? I take care of myself - I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I surround myself with things that will enrich me spiritually. And I do this willingly. I don’t ever remember my parents telling me not to smoke or drink or do drugs (please do not get me wrong, you know what I mean) but for some reason, all these things just became natural to me. I need to be spiritually and physically healthy to be able to live my life with meaning. I need to maintain my self-worth so I am invincible when life’s storms come my way. I love Me and Me enables me to share this love to other people.

The Bridge (or Wall) Between Me and My Family

They say that talking about Politics and Religion is to be avoided. Luckily for me, my husband and I, at least for now, do not talk about politics. I have never understood it and never will. But religion, well I don’t call it that; I call it faith in God and love of God. Faith and God are important to me. And I find that the importance I give to these two things creates the bridge, and sometimes the wall, between me and my family. It is never easy but I can’t say that it is difficult either. All I know is that my faith in Him and my love for Him have helped me and my family in tremendous ways. Every morning I wake up, every day I struggle to get out of the bed because I want to get more sleep, the first words I utter are “Lord, please help, bless, and guide me and my family today”. Those words are my multi-vitamins and power breakfast.

I am not perfect. In fact, I feel so imperfect I can say I am perfectly imperfect. But surprisingly, that imperfectness makes me depend on God and the biggy … make me feel loved by God so much. I don’t know why I feel this way but it feels so good. And no matter how it stands or paves the way between me and my family, I will continue to do what it takes so they too can feel the high I get from God.
Past, Present, and Future

My boss at work told me that he thinks I am overwhelmed whenever he looks at me. I told him that it must certainly feel that way because he gives me so many tasks (chuckle). But I said I don’t feel that way because I approach my work one day at a time so I am not overwhelmed.

Which ironically I find hard to apply to my everyday life (chuckle and turn red).

I do not remember her name anymore but someone years and years ago gave me a Christmas gift that later in my life has turned into one of the best gifts I have ever received, ever. It is a small box of prayer cards. I have it on my desk and read one new card everyday. Sometimes, I keep a card for weeks until I feel I need some new supply of strength and a good dosage of spiritual reminders from God.

And today here is the card that chose to read to myself:

Just for today,
What does it matter, O lord
if the future is dark?
To pray now for tomorrow
I am not able
Keep my heart only for today,
give me protection today,
grant me your light
just for today.

- St. Therese of Lisleux

And this is what I going to write on this last page of this book. I leave you with this and know that I am praying this with you somewhere wherever you may be.

Confessions of an Ordinary Working Mom


Waukesha, United States

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