Before you sit down to read this, pour yourself a glass of wine because you deserve it. Wine quotes make a lovely addition to a gift tag, written in a birthday card and accompanying a bottle of wine. You can also use these wine captions for Instagram to find other oenophiles (wine connoisseurs).
Funny Wine Quotes
Everyone loves a laugh, especially when life gets a little rough around the edges. Enjoy these funny wine quotes, whether you add them to your social media or scribble them on a housewarming gift of wine to show your new neighbor some kindness (and sense of humor).
- “Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.” – Ernest Hemingway
- “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte
- “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” –W.C. Fields
- I only drink wine on days that end with a y. -Unknown
- “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” — Elizabeth Taylor
- “Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” — Letters to Juliet (2010)
- “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.”― Charles Baudelaire, Paris Spleen
- “Wine makes all things possible.” ― George R.R. Martin, The Mystery Knight
- “Life’s too short to drink cheap wine…” ― Cliff Hakim
- “If your arteries are good, eat more ice cream. If they are bad, drink more red wine. Proceed thusly.” ― Sandra Byrd, Bon Appetit
- Wine is poetry in a bottle. -Unknown
- “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.” — Eduardo Galeano.
- “Every time I open a bottle of wine, it is an amazing trip somewhere.” — José Andres
- “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I’m in love and when I’m not.” — Coco Chanel
- Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” — Sir Robert Scott Caywood
- A chain is only as strong as its weakest drink. —Unknown
- Love like wine gets better with time. —Unknown
- “Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.” — Horace
- “Wine is not just an object of pleasure, but an object of knowledge; and the pleasure depends on the knowledge.” — Roger Scruton
- “Wine is, perhaps, the closest thing the planet has to an elixir of life.” — Thom Elkjer
Sip, sip, hooray! Who doesn’t love some funny wine puns to add to your social media caption or added into a cool gift? You’ll be grapeful for these wine puns.
- I decant even with you today.
- I’ll be there in a Prosecco.
- Haven’t you heard the saying that everything happens for a Riesling?
- You bet Shiraz I want a glass of wine.
- It’s time to wine down now.
- Can’t you put a cork in it?
- You age like a fine wine.
- Stop and smell the Rose.
- Haven’t you heard that great wines drink alike?
- He made a pour choice.
- She never gets Bordeaux of you.
- I’m on cloud wine.
- You had me at Merlot.
- I’ll need a Napa after this glass.
- Never Loire your standards.
- Go Chard or go home.
- I give you a Tannat out of ten.
- I don’t need a Reisling to drink wine.
- Chardonnay or should I go?
- You’re one in Semillon.
Wine not add some clever wine captions for Instagram. Your followers will appreciate the jokes because they likely love wine just as much as you do.
- Where there’s wine, there’s a way.
- It’s wine o’clock somewhere.
- Rose all day.
- Adulting makes me wine.
- Will you accept this rose
- Back that glass up.
- Working nine to wine today.
Friendships are Formed Over Reds Breads and Spreads designed and sold by ambieliu15
Oh, sweet child of wine, it’s time for a barrel full of wine jokes to brighten your day.
- Q: What is a wine hangover called? A: The Grape Depression.
- Q: What did the grape say when you stood on it? A: Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
- Q: How do librarians like their wine? A: Well red.
- Q: What did the grapes say to each other? A: We ferment to be together.
- Q: What do you say to a sick grape? A: Are you feeling oak-ay?
- Q: What was the wild grape called? A: A loose tannin.
- Q: What did one wine say to the other? A: You’re so Soave.
- Q: What did the lookout say to his accomplice? A: Keep a Merlot profile.
- Q: What did the wine bottle say to the grapes? A: Stop your wining.
- Q: What did the white wine say to the red? A: You’re caught red-handed.
- Q: What happened at the wine party? A: They rose’d the roof.
- Q: How do you know the grapes are hurt? A: They’re doubled up in Champagne.
- Q: Why doesn’t the older wine understand the younger? A: There’s too big a generation grape.
- Q: What does starting over look like for wine? A: A Blanc slate.
- Q: What did the wine say when experiencing deja vu? A: I’ve vin here before.
- Q: What did one bottle of wine say to the other? A: Do you want to go to your place or vine?
- Q: What did the commentator say at the beginning of the wine competition? A: Let the bottle commence!
- Q: Why did the wine keep eating all the sugar? A: Old habits dry hard.
- Q: Why don’t the grapes like capitalism? A: They think money is the fruit of all evil.
- Q: Why did the wine accept the offer? A: The seller made an offer they decant refuse.
These wine quotes will only get better with age. Now it’s time to put these quotes to good use by writing them in your wine-loving friend’s bachelorette party card or attaching them to the perfect Mother’s Day gift for mom as a thank you for putting up with your teenage years. If you love giving wine-themed gifts, you’ll enjoy these birthday puns and other love and kindness ideas.