Whether or not you believe in little green men, you’ve got to admit it—there’s just something about the cosmos. It’s breathtakingly beautiful, endlessly vast, and the inspiration behind the whole Area 51 craze of 2019. Are we alone in the universe? Is the truth really out there? Well, beam yourself up and set your phasers to stun, because you’re about to learn some astronomically amazing space puns, jokes, and yes, even pick-up lines. (Hey, even aliens need someone to love.)
There’s a whole universe of words out there, but only some of them can be put together to create great space wordplay. So step outside the space station and take off your helmet, because these space puns are breathtaking.
Don’t space out now, or you’ll miss some of the best space wordplays on the internet.
1. I checked out a book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
2. I thought about putting an observatory in my house, but the cost was astronomical.
3. Last week I attended a lecture on Halley’s Comet. It went completely over my head.
4. I’m so disappointed. I keep pressing the space bar on my keyboard, but I’m still on Earth.
‘Comet Me Bro T-Shirt Design’ Graphic T-Shirt by Forever December
5. I wanted to have a space-themed birthday party, but there was no one to planet.
6. Learning about space all day is exhausting. I need a launch break.
7. Orion’s Belt is a huge waist of space.
8. The scientists’ new paper about alien life forms didn’t get published. It was too far out.
‘Negative Space’ Illustration by Haasbroek
9. I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. My mom says I have high hopes.
10. Astronauts are the only people who keep their jobs after they get fired.
11. A pair of twins decided on adventurous careers. One became an astronaut. The other became a skydiver. He was more down to earth.
12. Einstein released his theory about space, and it was about time, too!
13. I’m returning this vehicle to the dealership. I asked the dealer, “Cargo space?” and he said yes, but the car didn’t even make it off the launchpad.
14. My boyfriend wanted me to give up my career in NASA to marry him, but I couldn’t. I need my space.
15. Not everyone can pull off wearing a spacesuit, but I’m going to rocket.
16. I’m addicted to space jokes, but someday I’ll over-comet.
17. My kid is obsessed with the moon. I’m hoping it’s just a phase.
18. The earth’s rotation really makes my day.
Did you just tell a Martian joke? Not cool, man. Only Martians can tell Martian jokes.
These jokes, on the other hand, are fun for everyone.
19. What do astronauts listen to on the radio? Nep-tunes.
20. What will they call the first interstellar currency? Starbucks.
21. What’s E.T. short for? He has little legs.
22. Why does the moon need money? It’s on its last quarter.
23. What did the astronaut do after he crashed into the moon? He Apollo-gized.
24. What do aliens say to cats? Take me to your litter.
‘Jerkury’ Illustration by BootsBoots
25. Why did the restaurant on the moon fail? It had no atmosphere.
26. How do you keep your pants up in space? With an asteroid belt.
27. What do you say to a three-headed alien? Hello. Hello. Hello.
28. Where do aliens park their spaceships? Next to the parking meteor.
29. What do you give a nervous alien? Lots of space.
‘Old Enough to Remember When Pluto Was a Planet’ iPhone Case by TheShirtYurt
30. Why did the alien borrow a computer? To log onto Spacebook.
31. What animal followed the cow over the moon? A space sheep.
32. Why did the astronaut get fired? He was spacing out at work.
33. Where do you find the most felines in space? In the catmosphere.
34. What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a space ship? A U-F-Ho-Ho-Ho.
35. How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket.
36. Why did Neptune break up with Uranus? They wanted a Plutonic relationship.
‘Think fast’ Spiral notebook by Wawawiwa comics
37. I went to a space aquarium once. It was otter this world.
38. What do the papers do when an astronaut dies? They run an orbituary.
39. Why is life on Earth so expensive? It includes a free trip around the sun every year.
40. What do astronomers do when they finish calculating the time from sunup to sundown? They call it a day.
41. Why did the star go to school? To get brighter.
42. Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already has a million degrees.
43. Why did the moon put down its fork? It was full.
44. Why did the astronaut go to the podiatrist? He had missile-toe.
45. Why didn’t the alien want to eat the clown? It tasted funny.
46. Why can’t you get cell reception in space? It’s 0-G.
47. What did Jupiter say to Saturn? I like you, give me a ring sometime.
Space Pick-up Lines
Why waste a good date on someone who doesn’t appreciate good space puns? Use these pick-up lines to find out who’s really going to send you into orbit.
48. Want to go on a date in outer space? No pressure.
49. I think you’re stellar. Wanna be my satellite?
50. Hey baby, are you the vacuum of space? Because you take my breath away.
51. Are you an asteroid? Because you rock my world.
52. Are we on Venus, or are you just super hot?
53. Are you the sun? Because my world revolves around you.
54. I just graduated from astronaut school. Want to join me for launch?
‘You Are Otter This World’ Illustration by emilybhle
So there you go—the best space puns in the galaxy. We hope they keep you laughing from Mercury to Pluto. Is Pluto a planet now or not? We forget.
Either way, now you’re ready to chuckle and groan your way around the galaxy. Put on your space t-shirt and blast off to fun.
Remember, in space, no one can hear you laugh.
The hero image is “Infinity” by mathiole