Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-uh.
If you’re a Shark Week fan, you already know what’s coming in July — all the sharks.
The creatures of the deep are equal parts graceful, terrifying, and otherwise jaw-some. Maybe it’s their ability to bite you right in half. Perhaps it’s their uncanny ability to clear a beach shoreline in 30 seconds or less. Yet, for some reason, people LOVE sharks.
Keep these handy for Shark Week. You’ll need the best shark puns and shark jokes to fill in the awkward silences while you and your friends are bobbing in the ocean this summer.
And, honestly, sharks just want to be our friends. Is that too much to bite off?
Cake Shark Designed By E Moss
Shark Puns
It’s fin, fin, fin to bake out in the sun and then take a dip in the deep blue sea. Unless you’re terrified of mother nature’s biggest water playground. In that case, you might not think these shark puns are all that finny, but we think they’ve got a good bite to ‘em.
1. You’ve got me between a rock and a shark place.
2. This makome off as a surprise, but I don’t bite.
3. There’s some-fin special about you.
4. Stay jaw-some.
5. How do sharks greet one another?
6. Water you up to, mate?
7. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make? Chews wisely.
8. That shark attack really made a splash in the headlines, huh?
Lumberjack Shark designed by nickv47
9. If you can be fin-tastic, always be fin-tastic.
10. How does a shark express disappointment? Jaw, man!
11. What did the mom shark say to her mouthy son? Don’t get sharky, son.
12. Sharks that steal always mako like a bandit.
13. Who’s the best baseball shark around? Shark McGwire
14. Go ahead and mako my day.
15. Don’t de-bait me. You won’t win this bite.
16. Gangster shark to human: Shark my words, you’re a dead man.
17. Where’s my bloody dinner?
Kyle the Friendliest Shark Ever designed by Ninjasmacks
Shark Jokes
The beach is the place to be this summer. It’s also the place for sharks to chill, too. Psych yourself up to take a dip when you read these jokes aloud to your beach-going crew. And, really, sharks are just the ocean’s most misunderstood creatures. Anything with a smile that big and lifeless little eyes can’t possibly mean any harm, right?
18. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there.
19. What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper? Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
20. What did the shark say to the surfer? Come on in, the water’s fine!
21. How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test? Nailed it!
22. What’s a great white’s favorite tune? Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-uh.
23. What did the momma shark say to the kid shark? Watch that sharkasm, young man.
24. What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food? Don’t Stop Bleedin’
25. What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks? Card sharks.
26. How does a shark plead in court? Gill-ty.
27. What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies? I’m hammered.
28. What sharks are the shortest? Ground sharks.
29. What does a hammerhead shark call a headache? A hammering head.
30. What do you call two sharks who get married? Hooked for life.
31. What does a dentist say to his shark patients? Let’s see those chompers.
Shark in Tea designed by Tamara Lance
32. How do you throw a shark out of a bar? You cast it out.
33. What did the shark say to his wife during a fight? You’re just being jaw-matic.
34. Save a boat. Ride a shark. It’s more eco-friendly.
35. Him: I think you bite too much. Her: Don’t get snappy with me.
36. How do sharks greet the day? With the saying “time to rise and tide.”
37. How does a shark announce dinner’s ready? “Hot off the gill!”
38. What did the priest say to his wife at the beach? Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming.
39. Her: What do you want to dinner?
Him: Finny you should ask, I wanted to see if you’d like to catch a bite somewhere.
40. How does a shark family get a vacation started?
By setting the wheels in ocean.
41. Tiger sharks will eat anything and everything. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
Walking the Shark designed by robCREATIVE
42. Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.
43. Hangry sharks make the worst ocean floaties.
44. A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. Year-round.
45. What did one shark say to the other after an awkward moment?
Whale, that was weird.
46. What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef? Why are you casting me out?
47. How do sharks stay up all night? They drink jaw-va.
48. Where do country singing sharks try to make it big? Gnashville
49. What did the shark get on his biology test? A sea-minus.
Sharks Need Love Too designed by FandomizedRose
We hope you laugh all the way to the beach. Spout off your favorite shark sayings and shark puns before diving in deep.
The sharks will probably think you’re too hilarious to eat.
Plan to avoid the water? Stand on shark lookout and wear your favorite tee to let swimmers know you mean business. Ain’t no toothy sharks taking out swimmers on your watch. And don’t forget your water bottle so you can stay hydrated on the beach!
If you prefer your sharks to be of the unalive variety, check out these shark products ranging from t-shirts, throw blankets, and artwork. If you’re looking for more laughs, our hay-larious horse puns, un-bee-lievably funny bee puns, and bug puns will tickle your funny bone.
What’s your favorite part of Shark Week? Share below in the comments!
Header image: High Five designed by Teo Zirinis