Post Category: Inspiration

30 New Years Jokes, Puns, and One-Liners


Are you in the mood for New Years jokes? 2020 has been a difficult and important year, with critical social issues coming to the forefront and people working hard to find creative strategies for staying positive during the pandemic.

Celebrating the arrival of 2021 offers a chance to add a dash of hope, fun, and levity. If you’re looking for New Years jokes to kick off the fun of 2021, here’s thirty favorites.

New Years One-Liners

Sometimes you need a quick, hard-hitting New Years joke that can get an immediate laugh. These one-liners are for you whether you need New Years eve jokes or you’re celebrating the big day itself.

  1. New Year’s Resolutions: In one year and out the other.
  2. New Year’s Eve is the one day when you can drop the ball.
  3. I’ve already got a date for New Year’s Eve: December 31st!
  4. Don’t shoplift a calendar or you’ll get twelve months.
  5. My resolution was to lose some weight, so I got a divorce and I’m feeling much lighter.

New Year’s Jokes

Need a good laugh as you head into the New Year? These ten jokes are sure to get a chuckle.

  1. Why did the boy take off his glasses as he reminisced about the year? Because hindsight is 2020.
  2. What’s the graphic designer’s New Year’s resolution? 1080dpi.
  3. Where do comedians hang out on New Year’s Eve? By the punchline.
  4. Why was 7 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve? Because 9, 8, 7 …
  5. Why shouldn’t you start jogging on New Year’s? You’ll spill your beverage!
  1. My spouse still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolution is.
  2. What do jewelers do on New Year’s? Ring it in.
  3. Since my resolution is to read more, I’m watching a movie with subtitles.
  4. Why did 2020 feel like a blur? Your New Year’s resolution must have been low.
  5. What’s a coach potato’s New Year’s resolution? To cancel their gym membership from last year.

New Years Jokes for Kids

New Years jokes for kids are a great way to get the little ones in your life excited about celebrating the big day. It can also help you talk about what you want to accomplish in the year ahead with your kids. They’re also perfect for having a little fun.

  1. What did the ghost say on New Year’s Eve? Happy “Boo!” Year
  2. How did the snowmen celebrate New Year’s? They just chilled.
  3. How do corn wish each other a happy January 1st? Happy New Ears!
  4. What should you tell your parents before you go to bed on December 31st? See you next year!
  5. Where did the geometry teacher hang out on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.

New Years Puns

Good New Year puns or well-spun dad jokes will have your audiences laughing and groaning as you welcome in the coming year. Whether you’re looking for the perfect New Year’s gift or just a few jokes, here are a few favorites to have your kids rolling their eyes.

  1. What do cats say on January 1st? Happy Mew Year!
  2. What does the baker do on New Year’s Eve? He gets ready for a toast.
  3. Dracula is famous for his “count down.”
  4. What did the barista say in January? Happy brew year.
  5. What did the New Year’s champagne bottle say to its father? “Pop!”

Famous New Years Quotes

While the turning of the page into a New Year feels like a big event, it’s easy to forget generations have gone through thousands of New Year celebrations. Here are some inspirational and funny New Year quotes to help you share clever New Years wishes with family and friends.

  1. “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier…” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
  2. “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  3. “How high a pitch his resolution soars!” – William Shakespeare
  4. “It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.” – Jane Austen
  5. “And in the End, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

As the New Year approaches, add some joy and fun with New years jokes and sending well wishes to loved ones. Looking to add some joy and positivity to your loved one’s lives? Ring in the New Year in the right way with some fun, festive t-shirts featuring New Year’s jokes and inspirational sayings. Happy New Year funny people!

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