These funny horse puns are going to be the mane-stays in your joke bucket. Whether you’re horsing around on a riding adventure or gifting something to your horse-loving friends, these funny horse puns, names, and jokes will have everyone braying with laughter.
Cud it get any better than a list of hilarious horse puns? These barnburners are sure to make you chuckle or perhaps just cringe. Either way, you’ll enjoy these puns pure bread for a reaction.
- You sure like to stirrup trouble.
- It’s pasture bedtime.
- Stop horsing around.
- Cud you go on a date with me?
- Don’t be afraid to make a foal of yourself.
- Get off your high horse.
- I herd you wanted my number.
- You’re my better hoof.
- Why the long face?
- It’s time for the mane event.
- Watch me whip…
- Watch me neigh, neigh.
- You’re my mane man.
- I can’t help being a spur of the moment type of person.
- I’m so glad you’re my neigh-bor.
- Hold your horses, why don’t you.
- Meet me at the hair saloon.
- You’re such a stud.
- You’re haylarious.
- You’re always the centaur of attention.
Funny Horse Names
Get playful with these funny horse pun names that are a mixture of a play on words and a play on pop culture names — they’re sure to stirrup some fun!
- Talk Derby To Me
- Pony Tail
- Reya Sunshine
- Colt Forty-Five
- Pony Soprano
- David Hasselhoof
- Maple Stirrup
- John Bon Pony
- Tater Trot
- Forrest Jump
- Hermioneigh Granger
- Harry Trotter
- Hay Girl
- My Little Pony
- Biscotti The Hotty
- Q: How does the upbeat horse look at life? A: As a glass hoof full.
- Q: What did the horse say to end the argument? A: Neigh, I disagree.
- Q: What did the horse say to his date? A: You make me whinny.
- Q: Why did the horse have a cough drop? A: He sounded a little hoarse.
- Q: What did the horse ask his owner? A: Did you ask me equestrian?
- Q: Why did the horse cover his body? A: It was neigh-kid.
- Q: What’s a horse’s favorite condiment? A: Mayo-neighs.
- Q: Why did the horse wake up panicked? A: He was having a night-mare.
- Q: What medicine does the sick horse need? A: Cough stirrup.
- Q: What’s a horse’s favorite wine? A: Chardonhay.
- Q: Why did the horse cancel last minute? A: It got colt feet.
- Q: Where do horses sleep on their wedding night? A: In the bridle suite.
- Q: How can I help my possessed horse? A: With an ex-horse-ist.
- Q: What’s a horse’s favorite shop? A: Old Neigh-vy
- Q: How do you send a horse mail? A: Through the Pony Express
- Q: What do you call a mentally balanced horse? A: Stable.
- Q: What did the mother horse say to her foals? A: Don’t forget to clear the stable!
- Q: What computers do horses like? A: Macintosh.
- Q: What’s a horse that loves to travel? A: A globe trotter.
- Q: Why did the foal eat with its mouth open? A: It didn’t have stable manners.
- Q: What do you say to a horse after you win a bet? A: Pony up!
- Q: What did the fallen horse say? A: I’ve fallen and can’t giddy-up.
- Q: What does a racehorse like to eat? A: Fast food.
- Q: What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A: A zebra.
- Q: What’s a horse’s favorite bread? A: Thoroughbred.
- Q: Where do horses live? A: Neighbraska.
Did you enjoy these horse puns? Yay or neigh. Horses have a cult following because they’re wild, emotional, beautiful, and oh so comforting. If you love horses as much as we do, find a product you love with all sorts of horse and other animal puns here at Redbubble.
And if you prefer your horses to be of the mythical variety, check out these The Last Unicorn quotes.
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