In 2009, gamers everywhere played as Vault hunters Brick, Lilith, Mordecai, or Roland on the planet Pandora to find the Vault before anyone else in “Borderlands.” Fans appreciated its first-person looter shooter gameplay, well-developed characters and its often shocking and hilarious dialogue.

We assembled the best “Borderlands” quotes from Handsome Jack, the Badass Psycho Krieg and the rest of the characters to remind you of the randomly-generated moments faster than you can wish you had a diamond-studded pony. 

Handsome Jack Quotes

Handsome Jack is one of those villains you love to hate, which is probably why he is one of the franchise’s most popular characters.

Introduced in “Borderlands 2,” he believes himself to be Pandora’s savior, attempting to thwart the game’s protagonists at every turn. His dark and vengeful humor, while definitely NSFW, showcases his narcissistic tendencies and almost – almost! – makes you root for him.

1. “It’s cute that you think you’re the heroes of this little adventure, but you’re not.” – Handsome Jack

2. “These pretzels suck.” – Handsome Jack

3. “Vault hunter looks for the new vault. Vault hunter gets killed. By me. Seeing the problem here?” – Handsome Jack

4. “This guy rushes me with a spoon … a freakin’ spoon!” – Handsome Jack

5. “Jimmy, please make a note: I’m strangling Mr. Moorin for bringing up my wife.” – Handsome Jack

6. “I just bought a pony made of diamonds because I’m rich.” – Handsome Jack

7. “Petty vandalism? Are you serious? That’s how far you’ve fallen? It’s just sad.” – Handsome Jack

8. “‘Too many people die.’ Give me a break. That’s what people DO!” – Handsome Jack

9. “You should have died when I told you!” – Handsome Jack

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10. “I could have saved this planet! I could have actually restored order! And I wasn’t supposed to die by the hands of a child killing psychopath! You’re a savage! You’re a maniac, you are a bandit and I am the g—— hero!” – Handsome Jack

11. “What’s going on? You can’t hurt me anymore? Oh, that’s gotta be so frustrating!” – Handsome Jack

12. “There’s nowhere to hide now, suckers!” – Handsome Jack

13. “This is the end, beautiful friend.” – Handsome Jack

14. “I can see why you’d wanna tear that particular statue down. Clearly, you’re illiterate , and the image of me enjoying a good book just makes your head hurt somethin’ awful.”– Handsome Jack

15. “Oh for the love of – okay. Great. Success. You’re pissing me off. Good for you! Here’s your prize!” – Handsome Jack

16. “Hey, buddy! It’s me, Roland! Let’s kill Handsome Jack and then we’ll all go out for milkshakes!” – Handsome Jack imitating Roland

“Borderlands” Psycho Quotes 

After a mysterious discovery in a mine on Pandora, a group of bandits morphed into a race of human mutants called Psychos, so-called because of their freakish obsession with the Vault. They are divided into subclasses, including Burning Psychos and Badass Psychos, and they make life difficult for the game’s protagonists. Their lack of humanity, though, makes for some memorable one-liners.

17. “Feeling cute. Might turn you into a meat bicycle later.” – Psycho

18. “Bring me a bucket, and I’ll show you a bucket!” – Psycho

19. “Strip the flesh, salt the wound” – Psycho

20. “Look me in the eyes when I stare at you.” – Psycho

21. “Insurance fraud!” – Psycho

22. “I notice you haven’t shot me in the face! Curious as to why? Maybe you’re weighing the moral pros and cons, but let me assure you that – Oh my God shoot me in the face! What are you waiting for?” – Psycho Face McShooty 

Krieg Quotes

Krieg is a Badass Psycho in “Borderlands 2” and “Borderlands 3” with a shred of humanity. While just as blood-thirsty as the other psychos, Krieg has an inner voice trying to control his murderous tendencies. As a result, he tries to limit his kills to those who deserve it, making him a fan favorite.

23. “I looked into the heart of darkness, and I ate it all!” – Krieg

24. “I have the shiniest meat bicycle.” – Krieg

25. “There’s no barbeque until I say there’s a barbeque.” – Krieg

26. “I’m the conductor of the poop train.” – Krieg

27. “Pitiful people prepare, please plentifully plentiful platitude phenomenal patriot pounds, pounding perverse puppets pulping, pleasantly, putrid pasties.” – Krieg

28. “Nobody kills me but me.” – Krieg

29. “Thank you for riding the Psycho Express! Toot-toot! All aboard! I’ll be collecting your tickets. We have beverages in the dining car.” – Krieg

30. “My pecs have pecs.” – Krieg

31. “There’s no fence on this fence.” – Krieg

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Additional “Borderlands” Quotes 

While villains like Handsome Jack and the Psychos have some of the greatest (and grossest) lines in the “Borderlands” universe, they aren’t the only ones. Other characters, especially our heroes, engage in some memorable wordplay that must be included in our list.

32. “Well, you look exactly like all these ridiculous statues, so I’m gonna keep pointing my gun at you, just in case.” – Moze

33. “I’m capable of Phaselocking enemies into another dimension where they will die a prolonged, painful death. If this is not appealing to you, we have nothing to talk about.” – Maya

34. “This planet smells like hemorrhoids wrapped in bacon.” – General Knoxx 

35. “It’s finally over … I see a bright light. It’s blinding …beautiful …no, wait. That’s just the sun.” – General Knoxx

36. “A dying puppy. A baby in tears. If the previous statements elicited any emotional reaction, report to your supervisor for summary destruction.” – “Borderlands 2”

37. “Earl’s crazy. He ate one of my cars once. Yeah. The whole thing. Just, like, with a fork.” – Scooter

38. “I wonder what it’s like to have a belly button.” – Claptrap

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39. “Well done! Your ability to walk short distances without dying will surely be Handsome Jack’s downfall.” – Claptrap

40. “That sentence had too many syllables. Apologize!” – Torgue

41. “Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark? Answer: Yes.” – Torgue

42. “You should treat Maxxi nice. Nothing is more b—– than treating a woman with respect.” – Torgue

43. “If you’re still alive, grab some ammo. If you’re not, this message is irrelevant.” – Torgue

44. “I want you to blow up … the ocean!” – Torgue

45. “I’m Torgue, and I’m here to ask you one question and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!” – Torgue

46. “Better dead than a damsel.” – Lilith

47. “If you ask me why I’m called the white knight, I may punch you in the throat. Hey, that’s just a fair warning.” – Roland

48. “I’m gonna eat so many crumpets, it’s gonna be a crump-pocalypse.” – Tiny Tina

Did your favorite “Borderlands” quote make our list? We’ll be honest, if it didn’t, it’s probably NSFW, but that doesn’t make it any less of a standout line. For more out-of-this-world quotes, check out our list of Star Trek quotes.

This holiday season, “Borderlands” stickers make the perfect stocking stuffers for the “Borderlands” players in your life. For the person who has everything, a “Borderlands” tapestry can add some flair to their video game lair. For gift ideas for your gamer friends, check out our list of gifts that aren’t games.