Post Category: Animals

40 Funny Animal Puns and Jokes (We’re Not Lion!)


Whale hello! If you’re looking for the best animal puns and animal jokes around, you’ve found it! This doggone funny list is sure to make you howl, just like these animal pun stickers or animal pun greeting cards. Maybe there is a laugh here ewe just can’t live without!

It’s true, some of these jokes and puns might make you otterly groan. If cat’s got your tongue, drink a little water (you may just be horse). Then, try these jokes out on your family and friends. They may be very amoosed! So make like a cowboy and get a long little doggie—here’s a list of the best animal jokes you’ve ever herd!

Animal Puns That Will Quack You Up

You think you’re the only one interested in a good animal pun? Well, toucan play at that game. Maybe some of these are a little hawkward. Others are sure to mako you smile (Check out other jawsome shark puns here). This list will be one you can gopher again and again for puns that’ll make you as happy as a fish in saltwater (pepper water would make them sneeze).

1. Can a bear dance? Yes, but just barely.
2. When does a kitty want to be pet? Right meow.
3. What kind of truck does a pig drive? A hambulance.
4. What did the buffalo say when his son left home? Bison.
5. What do you call an explosive monkey? A ba-boom.
6. What did the llama’s mom say when it was leaving for college? Alpaca your things.
7. Hear about the disease birds give you if you kiss them? It’s untweetable.
8. What does a bee sit on? Its bee-hind.
9. What is the best response when you see a herd of deer? Oh, dear.
10. Why should you never play poker at the zoo? Too many cheetahs.

Funny shrimp pun iPhone case

Shrimply the Best iPhone Case by evannave

11. One animal was hoping to be king of the forest. He had all the koalifications.
12. Why did the frog have to walk to work? Her car was toad.
13. Take away the hungry cat’s food? You’ve got to be kitten.
14. Why was the dolphin was sorry? It didn’t do it on porpoise.
15. Why was the dog overwhelmed? Because today was ruff.
16. Where was the lion most comfortable? On the fur-niture.
17. Do owls like jokes? Sure, they think they’re a hoot.
18. How does a walrus mail a letter? He seals them with a kiss.
19. What kind of dog doesn’t bark? A hush puppy.
20. What do you call a lizard that steals? A crook-o-dile.

Funny Cat Pun T-Shirt

Meow-ter Space Explorer Cat Astronaut Classic T-Shirt by fatamyfan1

Animal Jokes for Monkeying Around

OK, quit horsing around! This is a serious effort at being the chimpion of animal joke round-ups. Are these puns just the sealiest you’ve ever heard? You know you’ll just snail it if you get to add one of these animal pun posters to your pad. If you live next to a horse, your neighhhh-bor might like them, too.

Speaking of that horse, it looks sad—it does have a long face and all. At least it’s not all black, white, and blue, like a depressed zebra. Better cheer them up with something funny. This list is like a cheetah, you can always spot a good one! Whether it’s sunny or raining cats and dogs (watch out, don’t step in a poodle!), there’s sure to be something to make you smile.

Are you just chinchillin’? Time to enjoy some more turtley hilarious animal jokes!

21. What did the goat say to the criminal? You’re baaaaaaaad.
22. Why did the barred owl have to go back to the computer store? It kept eating its mouse.
23. Why is it so hard to ride a camel on the weekend? You’ve got to get over the hump.
24. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
25. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
26. What do you call an angry monkey? Furious George.
27. What do lobsters hate to share? Because they’re shellfish.
28. Why don’t dinosaurs talk? Because they’re all dead.
29. How did Noah see all the animals on the ark at night? A flood light.
30. What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard is the best thing for a hot dog.

Tote with funny snail and turtle picture

The Homebodies Club Tote Bag by obinsun

31. There was once a chicken who could count her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken.
32. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
33. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One you will see later, and the other after a while.
34. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
35. Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
36. Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose.
37. How does the cat stop a video? He presses the paws button.
38. Why won’t a clam share? I don’t know. I asked them but they just clam up.
39. Why isn’t the hen in charge? It’s likely she’ll just pass the buckbuckbuckbuck.
40. Why are elephants not kept indoors? Look, no one wants to talk about that.

Funny Bee sticker on drink bottle

Beelliam shakesbee Sticker by casandrang

This meowtain of animal puns wouldn’t be complete without scratching up some clawsome animal pun sweatshirts and animal pun t-shirts that could send you into otter space with giggles.

These aren’t ill-eagle, we promise. You don’t even have to save this list for a special occasion, like Howl-o-ween. Try these jokes at the paw-ffice or at home. Your friends and family may be like a confused dolphin, however; they may want you to be more Pacific. Just so you’re not boaring anyone, it should be OK.

Holy moley, this list has goat to make you make like an egg and crack up! Just remember a few of these funny animal jokes, and you’ll be sounding so-fish-ticated to all your deer friends and family. Don’t keep these hiss-terical jokes owl to yourself! Let minnow what everyone thinks!


Hero image is Rodeo Cat by AnimalCrew.

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