Transitionalbridges2010

Acrylic on canvas. Primary colors. Self Portrait A bridge is sorta a fence isn't it? Except a fence is meant to keep people out: I want to invite you in to my world. You know how there are stories within stories? Dear reader, you are looking at one right now. Do you see the angel behind the nest? When I started this project, I sketched the general idea on canvas and let it set… I went sleep that night and woke up the next morning to go to work. I work at a health food store: the store is not always busy, so I have a wonderful opportunity to have many heartfelt conversations with customers. The day after I sketched this painting, a kind woman and I were chatting about the stuff that makes our lives important, and just before she left she hugged me and told me she saw an angel over my right shoulder. I usually do not sketch angels by the way. It took me by surprise, even though I know they exist. This woman’s mentioning to me her vision of my angel drove me back to the project. I believe angels are messengers of God. They bring good news. They are sent for protection. They guard places and they dance on the head of a pin. I know this because I have been visited by angels more than once, and I have experienced their presence. Actually, the orientation of this painting should have been 180 degrees, flipped. Because the idea was to paint a picture of myself, as I am, standing on a bridge looking at my reflection in the water as I intend to be. Surrounded by nature and symbols of personal importance. I am overweight and suffer from body image “issues.” I was encouraged to paint a picture like this several years ago, but I could not find the courage. The thought of a long journey I have to do alone is frightening. The process of losing weight sometimes seems daunting. I see the face with the blue eyes as sad, reflective and hopeful. It is suppose to look like the way I look now, gazing at my future reflection at my goal weight, in the water. Some things you just have to do alone, and managing my weight is something only I can do. The funny thing is I know I am not alone in this journey. Initially, the bird was suppose to be a Madonna handing me a bunch of flowers… but for some wacky reason, I needed to paint a picture of a bird. So in a sense he/she is giving me encouragement and wisdom… instead of flowers. I know I am not alone. Body image article for women and men.

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