Sir
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Chinese & Amsterdam Storeys
by Maxwell Edward“Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” J…
“Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” Jermaine takes charge as usual. “I imagine you can sir. Well my friend will have special fried rice and I will have special sweet n sour chicken. Could you make sure it’s especially sweet n sour though? Thanks sir.” People love to eat Chinese. More often the meals though…for the appetisers may prove too fattening over time. Neville and Jermaine have definitely had their share of fattening up over time. Neville is said to eat more Chinese than most Chinese and as for Jermaine, he probably eats more of most things than most people. “Jerry, don’t you think it’s strange how he mentioned they serve some of the greatest Chinese delicacies?” Jermaine who finds nothing short of highly unusual strange, makes a joke from anything less of great importance. “_Why_? What did you expect in a Chinese Restaurant, Indian food?” Neville who hears these jokes more often than not (but still not in appreciation of them) seems to always be misunderstood. “No, I mean, we’re not Chinese. I can’t see anyone in here that is Chinese…In fact I would say that the only Chinese this restaurant ever sees is on the plates. So, they could get away with telling us that this restaurant actually serves the greatest Chinese delicacies. Why would they not?” Jermaine’s opinion always went back to philosophy. “Some wise advice I have for you Nev. Never question the Chinese.” Something about the way the duo talked, it was utter enjoyment. The puns continuously employed emphasised it. A certain kind of pleasure whenever they accompanied one another was unleashed. “Oh Jerry, you got to hear about what happened to my cousin. _You’ll never believe it_…So Ben was in Amsterdam for some time, on holiday or something. Well on the last week he jumped off the top of a three-storey apartment balcony.” Jermaine who believes most things reasonable, but also hesitates in jumping to conclusions always feels obliged to question the situation. “Why the hell would anyone do something like that?” Neville started blushing. He was never as outgoing as Jermaine, even being questioned made him feel slightly insecure. “Well Jerry, you know my cousin Benjamin. No one questions him.” A certain kind of tension was building somewhere between Nevilles growing timidity and Jermaine’s pursuing nerves. “I think anyone thinking about jumping off the third storey of an apartment should be prepared to answer a lot of questions.” There was an uncomfortable short-lived silence between the duos. Neville thought of it as his responsibility to protect his cousin’s reputation, yet his loyalty had previously shown to lead to misdemeanours. Neville decided to break his loyalty for what his reason was telling him was sensibility. “Yeah Jermaine, agreed. Benjamin sure must be a moron hey. Oh, which reminds me, did I tell you he is going to become a lawyer?” The Chinese waiter had brought back the dishes. This is possibly the fastest time a waiter had brought out dishes (which were supposed to be quality cuisines). Then again, Jermaine and his friends always had their doubts about Chinese restaurants. Over their many meals they had discussed many things ranging from the health issues to the political and economic consequences of the different restaurant franchises. The Chinese waiter did not talk this time. He had a chilling frown cast upon his face. Perhaps he had heard their talking? Perhaps it was just the all-round atmosphere of working in such a demanding service. Jermaine and Neville dug into their meals, each choosing their pick of chop sticks and spoon respectively although ironically not in quite a disorderly manner. It was only lucky that Neville chose a spoon for the fried rice to prevent any more mess (if more mess were possible). “So Nev, back to the story; now that you tell me Mr. Benjamin wants to be a lawyer…that makes much more sense; their all lying bastards. This is one big story to you in order to gain your sympathy or something. It can’t really be explained, except that he is behind it all…” “Not true. I saw his bandages and cuts and sores; everything. That can’t really be faked.” “I’m sure for a lawyer, anything can be faked. Any kind of falsehood can be created and unleashed by those guys!” “No seriously. Okay here’s the story, he said he went to a party. He got pretty drunk knowing it was his last week. Who knows maybe he even did…goddamn man it’s Amsterdam! I don’t have to mention the possibilities, their limitless! Anything could have happened. Well anyway, he woke up and that is when the nurse told him what had been reported to her.” “You know what this sounds like? Chinese whispers. She said this; he said that, you say this…” Sceptical Jermaine could never let any possibility go. “Okay whatever, whatever.” Neville had enough. This sort-of-debate had turned into a sort-of-argument. It was time for him to try and change the mannerism of things “Hey Jerry, this kind of talking is probably not good for eating, let’s just eat okay. I mean just the other day I saw the scars and bleeding…well you know.” Eating continued. Polite (enough) slurping of Chinese tea and rice among other things died down the sound of thought. Than Jermaine continued speaking, but not where they left off. “Hey Nev, I’ll be back in a minute. Just have to convenience myself!” Neville sat there. Five minutes boring his intellect- no one to talk to! Jermaine returned. Back to his meal; back to messy eating and the hope of more polite interesting talk. Before Neville had seen it, Jermaine had finished the rest of his special sweet n sour. “Hey Neville, are you still feeling hungry at all?” Before Neville had a chance to reply Jermaine had beckoned the waiter over and ordered “Special Chinese fortune cookies”. The cookies came in no time at all again. It made it seem like there was surely something efficiently magical about this restaurant. “Hey Nev, can you tell me about this story a bit more. So would you get this, I actually heard about a story similar to his; actually two stories, exactly like his…they both sort of were like these crazy stories where these things happened to guys in…well Chinese restaurants actually!” Neville was only half listening, except the information was still unconsciously processing into his mind. He opened his fortune cookie. “No I do not believe it! Coincidences of such do not occur! Madness unleashed!” Neville started shaking intensely, trembling, his usual steady figure rumbling in what looked like fear; his skin pale and pupils dilating and goose bumps on his skin forming. Than he shoved his hands over his head and continued his fearful actions half-hidden by the table. Jermaine grabbed the little slice of Chinese paper, it must be not so fortunate whatever the fortune be he thought! “You will suffer falling three-storeys tonight. Do not question the Chinese” They both sat there; Jermaine seemingly doing and thinking nothing except watching the actions of Neville. Neville with his behaviour turning more and more intense and shocking as seconds progressed and turned into minutes. “Neville!” Neville took no notice, for a moment, to only a moment later reply, “What? Don’t you fucking get this? Can’t you see what’s happening?” Jermaine looked at his watch. Five minutes. Long enough…longer would be dangerous perhaps. “My good friend Neville. I have a confession. I put that note in your cracker…it’s to teach you a lesson really. But it’s also quite a cracker now too to think of it! You should have seen the look on your face! And my friend, I’ll tell you the moral of the story…Question anything with suspicion, even the Chinese, otherwise who knows what will be unleashed!”
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Just downstream from where the Franklin River joins the Gordon RIver in Tasmania’s South-West World Heritage Area. Despite its remote, pristine appearance, this spot recieves thousands of visitors per year from nearby Strahan. After rafting the Franklin River, it’s a bit of a shock to arrive here amidst a throng of tourists, a float plane, and a large tourist ferry… Limited to cards on RedBubble, this image is available as a limited edition print from my website © Doug Thost 2005 Tech details: Canon EOS1n with 20-35mm lens, 30sec exposure on Fuji Provia 100
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OTHER INDUSTRIAL / REAL ESTATE SERIES / NEW ZEALAND / FROGS / LENSBABY / INFRARED / BEACH / SPAM / PANORAMAS / LANDSCAPES
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A rather sad and beat up looking chipmunk looking for food on the rocks in Fuerteventura seen on our recent holiday… Poor thing looked so pathetic… Brought to mind the famous scene in Oliver. We did give the poor thing some food. See other photos on my NEW website at www.andyharris-photography.com * Click here to see some of my other Red Bubble categories Fuerteventura / Flowers / Autumn Collection / Paris / Wildlife / HDR / Skies / Clothing
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Taken in 1966, this is one of my favourite images of the 60’s of the iconic DJ, Sir Jimmy Savile OBE. I took the shot when I was 20 during my assistant days at 1:15 am, after a long advertising shoot for a petrol company with my boss, top fashion and advertising photographer John Cowan. I asked Sir Jim if I could run a couple of rolls of film for my portfolio. True gent that he is, Jim said “Sure!” even though every one was pretty tired after the 5 hour gasoline ad session. Anyhow, this is the result and it remains one of my favourite pictures to this day as it shows Sir Jim as he really was and is – a strong and generous human being who did not take himself too seriously. You are a true professional Jim, and I am eternally grateful to you for giving me this opportunity. Technical Details: Camera: Hasselblad 500C / Lens: 80mm Planar / Film: Tri-X / ASA: 400 rated at 200 / Exposure: 1/125 sec at f/16 / Lighting: 5,000 Joule Strobe in perspex light bank. © 1966 – 2008 John Hooton
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STILL HUNGRY
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I really liked this proud bird.. He stood his ground and gave me the ok.. What ya think your doing bud.. I think it knew it was a pretty one.. So I captured what I could of a pretty face.. Hope you like it..
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The World’s greatest collector of elderly women’s underwear – Sir Tom Jones / Caricature done in Photoshop CS1 & Corel Painter
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Sarjeant Art Gallery, Wanganui
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Celebrate the Recovery of Pop Princess Kylie Minogue from Cancer By Sunil Sharma
by Sunil SharmaPop Princess Kylie Minogue with Sister Danni Minogue in the great company of The Beatles Star John Lennon in virtual reality for your ins…
Lovers in Haven : 2009 Calendar – please click here Artist : Sunil Sharma / Email : sunil-c-sharma@hotmail.com / Web: http://www.redbubble.com/people/sunil / http://sunil.redbubble.com/
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You’ll never find a more wretched t-shirt of scum and villainy!
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Blossom’s_Photo_Gallery Banksia plagiocarpa From the Proteaceae Family. / Banksia...after Sir Joseph Banks. / plagiocarpa... From Greek plagios, oblique or sideways and carpos, a fruit, referring to the upturned lip on the open follicles of the fruit. Banksia plagiocarpa is a medium shrub to about 5 metres in height. It was originally collected in the 1860s but remained unnamed and was not collected again until rediscovered in the early 1980s. The leaves are about 100-200 mm long by up to 15 mm wide and are narrowly elliptical in shape with recurved margins which may be entire or serrated. Found in Far North Queensland – Regarded as rare in the wild. I found this Banksia at Sailor’s Creek, Cape North Peninsula, Far North Queensland. 100% of proceeds received from Redbubble in respect to sales of “Banksia Plagiocarpa” will be donated to “thegreataustraliancancerbushwalk” for the Cancer Council. Please check out Michael Mitchell’s website www.thegreatcancerwalk.com.au
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Acrylic on canvas. / A memorial portrait of my friend’s cat, Ringo, also known as Sir Pringleton Pea, or La Pea (cats need several names), which I have painted as a wedding present. I have tried to apply, in this painting, the things I have learned from the work of the amazing Al Neaimi. The photograph, unfortunately, does not capture the effects of the metallic golds and coppers I have used in the painting – particularly all the pale gold tips I have added to the hair, which from certain angles, give a shimmering, sunlit effect. / Happy to accept any cat portrait commissions. /
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Sir Bliss was a sniffy fellow. Whatever came around him he felt the urgent NEED to sniff it! Once he was satisfied over the smell, he’d then rub his cheek along it…making sure that the next creature to sniff after him? Knew he’d been there as well. / Sir Bliss was photographed with all his other homeless family at my town’s Humane Society. / Please? Support you’re animal shelters. And help save lives by spaying/neuturing you’re pets!
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beatle taken at st brides where he was holidaying following the bitter divorce with heather
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Two sheep ready for shearing !!
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Pencil & pen, from a doodle
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Yesterday was a bank holiday in the UK and it was pouring with rain and the wind was blowing when we woke up, so being British it didn’t deter us so I made the sandwiches and flasks of drink as planned and we drove to the seafront and parked in one of the many many empty spaces and went to Cumberland House and the butterfly section. After a couple of hours there we drove to the Portsmouth Blue Reef Aquarium. By now the rain had stopped and the sky was beginning to clear although the wind was still blowing. Inside the Blue reef we just made it for the Otter feeding. One of the Otters half ate his crayfish and decided he wanted another one, so he went over to the keeper and tugged on his trousers, the keeper told him to finsh the other one first and I snapped as he looked at the keeper. The look reminded me of Oliver Twist asking for more porridge LOL.
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Acrylic
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Lovers in Heaven: 2009 Calender by Sunil Sharma
by Sunil SharmaHi Folks Have you seen my new 2009 Calender ? Here is the preview for your kind information. Regards Sunil Sharma —-—-—-—-...
Hi Folks Have you seen my new 2009 Calender ? Here is the preview for your kind information. Regards Sunil Sharma —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—— Hi You …. Yes You … Lucky one! * Have you got a Lover’s Heart ? Not sure …No problems. Here is a plan to make you a perfect lover in 12 Months or early as shown in this amazing Love Art Calender. It will shower you and your loved one’s with Love , Romance, Respect, Service which will bring Peace, Energy, Happiness and a touch of Divinity in and around you. This will enable you to experience as a *Lover in Heaven Now ! Every day will be as loving as a Valentine’s Day. Please buy one copy for yourself and one for your lover so both are aware of the essential values to practise daily. The Cover page of the Calender shows Pop Princess Kylie Minogue who over come the deadly breast cancer is happy with Sister Danni Minogue in the great company of The Beatles Star John Lennon in virtual reality for your inspiration, enjoyment and pleasure. To celebrate the recovery of Pop Princess Kylie Minouge, the proceeds from the sale of this calender will go to / National Breast Cancer Foundation To see Lovers in Haven 2009 Calender – please click here Artist : Sunil Sharma / Email : sunil-c-sharma@hotmail.com / Web: http://www.redbubble.com/people/sunil / http://sunil.redbubble.com/ Copyright 2008 – Artist :Sunil Sharma / All RIghts Reserved. Click to go Sunil Sharma’s web
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Just had to show you Sir Richard, laid in peace and at rest int Staindrop Church. / There are a lot of base relief statues on the walls, plaques and at least 7 just like Sir Richard. , laid in all their glory for ever, for all to see and remember. R.I.P
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