Fractal art. / / © Dave Moilanen 2008
Digital Xray of my neck. / I was in a motor vehicle accident in 1975, I was told my neck would get better. It gave me no real problems and I continued to play football, soccer, squash, and swim. / In 1988, I was diagnosed as a Paranoid Schizophrenic by a General Practicioner at a public Psychiatric Hospital. He was still training to be a specialist. I had seen a qualified specialist psychiatrist 4 years earlier, who still sees no need to diagnose a psychiatric condition. / After the police took me for a drive in the back of a police van in11th October of 1998, I needed to see a specialist about my neck. He opperated in March of 2007, after I had put it off a few times. / Now no longer Paranoid schizophrenic. / Never compensated by anyone. The State Government is the insurer, in either instance, but they see no reason to pay.
acrylic on wood
Made in Ultra Fractal 4
Schizophrenia
2008 / 8.5×11 ballpoint pen and prismacolor marker on 11×14 bristol.
8.5×11 ballpoint pen and prismacolor marker on 11×14 bristol. / 2008
If you don’t get…don’t try
Model: Lena
“Schizophrenia” was the first painting I did expressing the feelings I had when the repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse began to haunt me, trying to force it’s way into consciousness and affecting my sense of who I was. This often left me with a feeling of disconnection with almost everything, including myself. I integrated the feeling of “cobwebs in the brain” through the pen-and-ink work in this painting. While yellow is normally a cheerful color, in this instance it signifies a jaundiced perspective and a brightness that feels overwhelming. Blue, as a normally peaceful and calming color, is found in the tenuous strands in the center of the painting, somehow vague and fleeting, as was my greatly desired peace-of-mind. During difficult times, our perspective is often distorted, as is demonstrated in the blurred portrait with a hazy phantom eye beneath the more solid eye that represents my real self, never totally lost though sometimes temporarily forgotten. If interested, you can see the entire abuse series at http://www.gjefle-art.com/abuse/abuse-index.htm / .
Digital Xray of me neck, the day after t was operated on to fuse three verabre
2008. 8.5×11 ballpoint pen and prismacolor markers on 11×14 bristol
Bedlam heartburn / A series where I try to approach the fear of insanity. I believe that this fear is collective and that we all have to face it sometime, one way or another. This is a composite. First image is almost untouched and created with long exposure with a flashlight. Second layer is worked in CS. Both blended and mixed in CS. For the image on the main layer I try to keep the Photoshop-work to a minimum to not loose the ethereal energy the method some times captures. Please view this !! / Inspired by this wonderful song by Ane Brun – This Voice Lyrics This voice / Is it calling / Is it calling / It’s your choice / She said / Take or let go / Is it calling / When you’re all alone / In your own sweet home / Is it calling / This voice / Is it calling I have to say / I choose get out of my way / Leave my ghost alone / Let me walk on by / Let me walk on by / Let me walk on by / Let me walk on by This voice / It is calling / It is calling for me / If you still haven’t heard it / You shouldn’t ask for it / You should just leave it be / ‘Cause you’re deaf until / The day for you it will / Be calling / This voice / It is calling This is my way to healing and selfrealization. If my work can give something to an other human being it´s many times worth the effort. Thanks for stopping by and look into my world of madness for a minute.
come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination….. what the willy wonka! Anyway, on the ass end of another art block, but i feel good about this piece. My brother was wearing a pretty rad shirt+ Schizophrenia is an thinker= Poof an arts xD.
Always nice to have built in friends.
© All Rights Reserved – No Usage Allowed in Any Form Without My Written Consent. The text reads: / You are NEVER alone with schizophrenia
© All Rights Reserved – No Usage Allowed in Any Form Without My Written Consent. The text reads: / You are NEVER alone with schizophrenia
The Last Goodnight – Pictures of You —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-— / Today l Cry You sit alone and wait for day / Wondering what may come / You try to block what they say / But the only thing left to do is run They say things you don’t want to hear / Just a fragment of the truth / All mumbled it is to much to bare / In reality its just self abuse But somewhere in the darkened void / A piece of you still survives / But brutally attacked everyday / By the visitors in your mind So the way to freedom seems so clear / The help its in the pack / Take them all and slip away / A few hours peace then bring you back The white light seems so silky / As the darkness fades away / You no longer hear the whispers / Your fears you can keep at bay But then it all comes flooding back / The noise it does return / Talking, yelling ,screaming flack / In a language mean’t to burn We want to help, to see your pain / To understand what its like / But when we try they block our way / They keep us in full sight So everyday is one more battle / Your family watch in vain / And hope to one day get you back / From the demons in your brain ~ Trudi 09 ~ Living alongside Schizophrenia not an easy road when you are battling more than one ….......... The horse a means to freedom , the water to wash away the tears All proceeds from the sale of my images will be directly donated Sane Australia for those people living and caring for those with mental illness This one l can make available in the brown tones as well if it is preferred A composite image of waterfall ,one of my horses ,and textured
I grew up with my father being diagnosed as bipolar and under treatment for that disease. However, the real diagnoses turned out to be that the disease was schizophrenia. This was not learned until spending 18yrs under that roof watching the emotional bombs go off around me. I watched him change personalities with each new and incorrect medication provided. Some of which are no, longer on the market because of the suicides that occurred in patients who took them. A counselor once asked me to put my father in the chair and tell him all you want to tell him. My reply was quite simple: “There are not enough chairs in the room!” I have been fortunate that I did not get schizophrenia, as there, was a good chance it could have been passed to me. I watched the pain it caused him inwardly to not be able to get better. I have healed mostly, from all the blazing, images burned into my mind over growing up with walking around mind fields. This is again because he was on the wrong medications & he could not help it. My diagnosis is that I have the following from my childhood: Posttraumatic stress disorder1 (abbreviated PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to one or more traumatic events that threatened or caused great physical harm. / It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma.[3] This stressor may involve someone’s actual death, a threat to the patient’s or someone else’s life, serious physical injury, an unwanted sexual act, or a threat to physical or psychological integrity,[1] overwhelming psychological defenses. The other side is that without him I would not be stepping behind or in front of the camera. Break down of picture elements: The hammer represents the constant tension that I felt. The cowboy hat is due to my father loved westerns and many of which were watched on b&w TV. The look being portrayed is being paranoid and perhaps hearing something not there. The TV is not in on a channel because focusing is hard for a schizophrenic mind and it could be there is an image there to thier mind. Set/Design- Draven Studios Self-Portrait Canon Featured in Queer and Gender Theories Group
Tell your employer / You will be looking for a job
I watched Glenn Close and her sister talking about mental illness awareness, on Good Morning America, this morning.. / My experience is tell anyone and you will never be treated the same again. If you are missdiagnosed, and the diagnosis is changed from Schizophrenia to Post Traumatic Stress, you will be treated the same. Family and friends will not be the same. The only people who don’t seem to treat you different are those with a mental health diagnosis. / My best friend has Schizophrenia, and has a Bachalor of Fine Arts, a Dip Ed Degree and Degree in Education for Disfunctional children, a wonderful loving person, who because of the stigma of mental illness works as a car detailer. His education and talent wasted. No encouragement from the authorities only more stigma. / I, through 10 years of service in a government bank earnt a, Unratified, Degree in Political Science/ Finance, and have unfinished studies in Electronic Engineering and Computer science, but I get treated like an illiterate and am not taken seriously by anyone who knows I have a mental health issue. Tell anyone you have schizophrenia and it is them that get paranoid. / I have never had an auditory hallucination. Most schizophrenics don’t.
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