Rant
238 creative works found
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RedBubble Etiquette
by Jo O'BrienIsn’t it great that we have such a cool community on here, bursting with creativity? / The vibe is great, the people are great, the artwor…
Isn’t it great that we have such a cool community on here, bursting with creativity? / The vibe is great, the people are great, the artwork is exceptional. But don’t we all love a big old whinge every now and then? Well, I do, and I’ve been saving it all up for this one post. (Well it was either that or become the creature I love to hate!) Disclaimer: This is all just my opinion and I am but one person and don’t represent anyone except myself. And I’m being all one-sided and hypocritcal. And you may not like me very much… And arguing with me probably won’t work! Flooding Activity Monitors with Repetitive Art / I love that RedBubble allows us to upload as much of our art as we want, but seriously guys- do we really need 10 shots of the same thing from different angles? Or the same image with 6 different PhotoShop filters? Or would it hurt upload a big series in drips and drabs over a week so that we have time to appreciate each artwork on it’s own as well as for being part of the series? Irrelevant Comments / Artwork Commments are not opportunities to have MSN conversations. Nor is it the place to size up the models assets or ask what the artist is doing on the weekend. (Unless of course you happen to know the artist very well and know that they are cool with this sort of behaviour) Otherwise, it’s a place to talk about how great the finished artwork is and perhaps ask the artist more about it. Whinging about Everything / Yeah I know, I’m being a hypocrite, but just this one time. Don’t know about everyone else but I am so over reading journal entry after journal entry about every little thing that someone doesn’t like about RedBubble. If you’ve got a better idea than what’s currently in place- GREAT- put it in the feedback forum so that admin see it. Telling us about Every Single Sale you make / Yes, the first time you made a sale you were so unbelievably wrapped about it you wanted to tell the world. I totally get that. So you sold your first framed print and it’s a big deal, I get that too. So you made 50c selling a card… again- OK, I don’t need to know that. Especially if you are lucky enough to have regular sales. / - EDIT- Due to a really great suggestion, I’ve made a forum thread to publicly thank people for sales (By the way- no pressure to use it. It’s just there if you want it) Uploading Happy Snaps / I can see three reason why people do this. / 1) They want to have their happy snaps turned into RedBubbles totally awesome products. Who wouldn’t? But it’s totally possible to upload your happy snaps as “hidden” and you can still get copies printed for yourself. / 2) You want to join in with the challenges in the forums like the Spin Challenge and the Show and Tell your Pets thread. Yeah, I get that too. It’s all in the spirit of being friendly and building the community. But did you know you can copy an image into a journal or forum post while keeping it hidden? / 3) You have confused RedBubble with Flickr or Myspace and do not consider anything you have posted ‘art’, let alone sellable art. Being Creepy / Emailing and BubbleMailing artists with enthusiastic support is lovely. Getting creepy anonymous email is just… well… creepy. So just don’t do it. Blatent Self Promotion / You know what I’m on about. You get a comment- and boy, it’s a big one this time. Only it’s all about the artist who is commenting. They probably gave you three links back to their portfolio too. If they are really brazen they may have even posted an image. Or you notice that you have exactly the same comment as you’ve seen on 20 other artworks- yes- someone copy pasted that comment. They must love everything exactly the same. And then you think to yourself “Hang on a minute.” It’s just rude. Not Editing Forum Posts / I realise that we can’t edit comments under our images. But we CAN do it in the forums. Right under your name is a little link that says “Edit Post”. Please use it. I can’t get cranky about this because I realise not everyone knows how to do it. So lets help each other out. You can find info on how to link (And a bunch of other formatting things) here Comments That Detract From The Sale Of Artworks / Potential customers can read your comments so think about what you are typing before you hit enter. There is a reason it says “Play Nice.” If people want your critique or suggestions, they will post in the Critique Forum. Negative comments and even innocent suggestions to change an artwork can not only damage an artist’s fragil ego, it can make a potential customer question whether the artwork is actually as good as they first thought. Journal Entries Being Catagorised As “Writing” / We now have this wonderful ‘writing’ category to keep our super-dooper finshed written pieces in. Poems, stories, well constructed and artistic pieces of prose. It’s not just another journal. It’s for your special stuff. If you want to tell us about your weekend- keep it in your journal. Rant Over aaaahh. That feels better :) Now is the bit where I plead with you to remember this is just my opinion and you are welcome to disagree- you can even strongly disagree if you feel like it :)
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Something about memories, secrets, past, present, future and who really gives a fuck anyway?
by JenniferBThe internet is a strange place, for many, like myself, it becomes a safe place, a place of refuge, warmth and protection, the life we re…
The internet is a strange place, for many, like myself, it becomes a safe place, a place of refuge, warmth and protection, the life we reveal to others is portrayed on snapshots, tiny colourful glimpses of the entire picture, cryptic messages carved on the damp. cavernous walls of poems, stories and prose. Away from the internet we live, breathe, fuck, fight, earn a living, pay off debts, owe and feel obligated to people, in general we complicate our lives, more often than not, taking the easy road simply to please other people, keeping the peace to avoid conflict and confrontation. Life itself becomes a metaphor for codependency and we let others who depend on us suck the life force out of us. In taking care of others we lose ownership of ourselves… Our identities fall into the messed up, murky mosh-pit of everyday living. Some people have precious memories to look back on, images in the back of their minds that bring a smile to their faces causing them to sigh and shake their heads from side to side… Other people recall only painful nightmares and the memories that make them smile are far and few between. I think it’s important to remember that today’s experiences will one day become tomorrow’s memories,they’ll become the movies and photographs we replay in our minds over and over again… We can only change and shape those images by adding newer, happier ones to the album, and that can only be achieved in the present, by the things we do today. Wouldn’t it be great if we could put our memories through photoshop, edit, soften and enhance them? Ah shit, I’m just rambling, I haven’t written fuck all in a while and this is the only way I can get my mind back into gear… Creating letters and words out of my thoughts, that are unfortunately, due to a cocktail of mood stabilising chemicals, pretty limited. Sometimes I have to shut everything off, hold everything back, breathe everything in and close everything down in order to open myself up and let it all out. On those days it can seem like I’m non-existent… But I’m still here, just behind your computer screens, feeling and thinking, but saying nothing. We all have our secrets I guess…
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MUST BE VIEW LARGE! This rant has been published before on RB but thought it went well with the image (This a rant and must be read with rage! (Written in the UK about the UK)) No revolution sparkle / the dried up embers of enthusiasm / stick like shit to a blanket / chocking all reason / slaying imagination in its wake / Universities, once the hot bed of political unrest / now march to the tune of the fat cats / Training executives / to become corporate killers / Reality plays virtual / as the ghost of ideology / rattle down poll station corridors / whilst sofas / slowly suck the life force / from couch potato voyeurs / mesmerized by the black box / black hole / of all consuming consciousness / as they vote in their millions / to evict some previously unknown halfwit / from the BIG BROTHER HOUSE / All gloss and no content / yet were content / content to live in a country where 40,000 homeless people walk the streets / content to live in a country where 6,300 people take their own lives each year / content to live in a country where 6,00 women are raped / and over 850 people are murdered each year? / You still content? / Hear my disent / but just to make yer feel secure / or rattle your paranioa / just remember this / we are constantly being recorded by over 300 cameras per day / At home / At work / At play / Big Brother is watching you!
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Why Artists Hate "Photographers" 101
by DrayeArtNow, before all you real photographers come lunging at me with pitchforks and fiery torches, I want you to take note of the asterisks on …
Now, before all you real photographers come lunging at me with pitchforks and fiery torches, I want you to take note of the asterisks on the title. My beef is with the shutterbugs who flood these sites with everything they think qualifies as photography. I’m talking about the one’s who take pics at their kids birthday party, their dog or cat rolling around on the grass, the rustic old shack down the road, their wife or girlfriend stepping out of the shower(or some other equally unerotic pose), their vacation photos, etc. These are the one’s who take a picture of a bird on a wire, 10 different ways, and post them all. One shot of the old barn isn’t good enough. Why not take 20 more, get it from every damn angle. And post them all. How about the macro shot of the flower, always a banal treat. Oh, and don’t bother with that pesky focusing. Don’t want you to get slowed down. Now, I’m sure I’ll get replies like “Well, there’s just as many bad “artists”. This may be true, but it takes a lot longer to make a bad painting or drawing than it does a bad photograph. And you only can post one version of bad art. It matters not, because the bad art will never be seen, getting pushed out by 50 more bad photos. True, there are some serious photographers on these sights, one’s with knowledge of lighting, composition and color. One’s who have their own darkroom and equipment. One’s with serious commitment to their craft, and a discerning eye for what worked and what didn’t. But even their work gets buried under the schlock. If some of these digi-dummy’s would use more restraint and discrimination with their choices, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to see the forest for the trees. If they thought to themselves “How can I put a fresh spin on this subject?” or “Should I bother, it’s been done to death?” , these sites would be a tad roomier. I made the mistake, when I first joined, of putting a few of these members on my watchlist. Now, I’m inundated every morning, with a new barrage of photographic excrement. I even tried taking them off the list, to no avail. It just keeps coming, like some Twilight Zone episode starring Pauly Shore. Moral of this story, is that I pick and chose after I see the work, now, and that the best place to show these pics, is at your next Christmas party. Digital cameras, the slide projectors of the new millenia.
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Abstract of the Monument Square Metro in Newcastle
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For those whose necks don’t rotate who are unable to read the muse above ;-) Cycles spinning around and around like dirty laundry Patterns repeating themselves like old fashioned ‘70’s floral wallpaper Memories best left to die all which have been told except one which will never be told and the present is just something I want to unwrap myself out of. The future… who knows? I’ve started a few poems and songs but I haven’t been able to finish any of them… My brain is on pause mode, it feels like someone else is holding onto the remote control lately and I want them to press the play button but they keep me on pause. I hate feeling controlled either in close proximity of someone or remotely. People don’t come with ownership papers like cars or Titles and Deeds like property or Contracts like collateral or Licenses like dogs ...And a silent, unwritten emotional agreement is only valid if both people honour it equally investing an equal amount of energy, time and commitment to it because it isn’t actually written anywhere or signed the feeling just floats around in the atmosphere until eventually it disperses and disappears completely. Wow… That image came out looking kind of big! I think I’ll resize it…
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humble beginnings
by Christopher EwingI think every photographer has pretty much the same story, when asked, how did you get into photography? All the answers are the same ”...
I think every photographer has pretty much the same story, when asked, how did you get into photography? All the answers are the same “I have always had a camera in hand, finally decided to make a go at doing it professional because I love it” / I know when I first picked up my camera at the age of nine, I loved it, had it with me all the time. It wasnt until many many years later til a friend finally convinced me to make that HUGE step in allowing anyone and everyone to see what I have shot and go “pro”. I always took the kind words of friends with alittle grain of salt when they would compliment my shots. I knew deep down I didnt quite have it right. I didnt “feel” I had done all I could do. I also felt they were being “nice”, and didnt want to hurt my feelings. So I basically shrugged it off for many years. Thanks to the internet, I had the capability to finally allow more then just friends to see my world through my eye in photograhy. So I finally took that step. / It was a huge step for me, at times I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach when I added a new shot, or even bring out a old one for all to see. Will it be a hit? Is it good enough? Will the public like it and want to buy it? Hell I still feel that way! / So many questions go thru one’s head when they put themselves out there with a passion they truely believe in. / I wont ever forget the very first time someone actually bought something of mine. WOW the rush I got! It just didnt seem Real. I went back a few times, checking out my account status and sure enough, I had finally Sold my work. I never really thought MY work would be good enough that someone I didnt know would want to buy it. I thought about my friends who had said I should take it more seriously from years past, and occassionally I do feel the regret I didnt get into it professionally then. Especially now when everyone has a digital camera and has become instant photographers. I’m here in a world of massive photographers from all over the country, trying to make a living off of it! Which means to me, I need to Learn and produce some of the best shots I possibily can. / The thing tho, it is in my blood, shooting, recording history with this little piece of equipment called a camera. Working on something that is artistic or different. I used to be intimidated by those photographers who had all that expensive gear, and fancy set-ups. At times I would hold my little film camera in hand and think to myself. Hell I can accomplish the same thing with this, as they can with that. But I would still find myself shying away from them, going off into my own little world. I think thru the few years I have openly put my work out in the public. One of the main things I will always remember and that is where I came from, where I started. I still get shy when I am around someone who wants to buy my work. I get sweaty when I am trying to get them a print of the shot they want, making sure it is as perfect as it can possibily be. So many times I feel the words “thank you” isnt enough as they happily go off with MY work!! To this day I still cant find more words to show my gratitude and honor. / I have met quite a few photogs, from all different levels, newbies, mid-ways, and the so called pros. Some have made an impression on me, some I dont ever care to see again. The ones that made the biggest impression on me, where the ones that were just like me, still humbled someone finds their work good enough to buy and show off in their home. The one’s who have snubbed their noses at me due to them having better equipment, or maybe had a few shows, or they are known in their town or known well thru the internet didnt impress me at all. Actually they made me realize exactly what I do NOT want to be as I progess in this field I have chosen. It doesnt matter if you have a throw away camera, or the multi dollar equipment on if you can produce an outstanding shot or not. I think one’s attitude has a lot to do with how successful they are, not what type of equipment they can buy. We all know better equipment does help, but it shouldnt ever change the attitude we all had when we first got started. / The humbleness and gratitude should be the same whether we are just starting or have been in it for 20 or more years. / You dont have to go to school, have a lot of money for high dollar equipment to produce some outstanding work. It’s all in the “eye”, it is how you see things, how you react when someone critiques or compliments. Its all about learning to use the equipment you have and making it work. / No one in this profession should ever lose that humble feeling just because they have improved. There will always be newbies behind you. One should always remember at one time, THEY were newbies. That is something I wont ever forget, the fact I too was once a newbie. Many have helped me, given me tips, they still do. I am like a sponge absorbing all information and tips. I use the input and incorportate it for what works for me and my situation at hand. When I see some people ranting and raving about quality, it really tears me up. It actually pisses me off. No one ever started with the perfectly focused shot, or the perfect exposure. We all started out not knowing a thing. It takes practice, it takes someone helping you along, it takes some honest good feedback, and of course a pat on the back does help build confidence. But we must all learn to listen to what we got Wrong, how else can we improve? In my case, and others who have progressed, Id like to see more helping out the newbies. Instead of ranting and raving about one’s quality of work, help that person. It could be a simple fix, something that person was clueless about and very grateful for the advice. / I had made a pledge to myself years ago when I started on my first public website with so much competition. I wouldnt ever be one of the ones who complained about another’s work. Hell if anything I would rant and rave about how a program used to help a shot is abused with oversaturation on colors or contrast. That is where a rant should be, the abuse of photography…not the learning. The reason I wrote this journal is because of a few forum threads I read. I immediately flashed back to a site I was very happy to get off of because of things just like this. There were more people that had improved and now felt it was their duty to point out flaws instead of helping fix them. / So photographers, even tho you have advanced and you’re more popluar due to your good work. Dont ever forget where you started from. Just because you might be able to buy all the top of line gear, your attitude and humbleness shouldnt ever change. Remember how YOU got started, and where YOU came from. Things YOU had to learn to improve. / But the thing you need to learn the most..is to stay humble, pass on what you have learnt, help someone out instead of spending time complaining, in time your own work will lack that flair. Helping someone in turn helps YOU, helps you remember where you came from, helps you stay sharp on techniques to use…remember….Pass It On. I am hoping that all that read this journal, will remember where and how and what they got started with. If it pissed you off, well to a degree I am sorry, but then to a degree I am not sorry. I hope this journal will make you think of how you might be treating someone who is willing to learn. I dont think there will be one person that does read this, can say..they didnt start out the same way as myself and so many others. / As I tell anyone who is beginning or mid-way, or even pros…. / practice, practice, Practice..and just when you think you have it ALL down…..... Practice some more!
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/ Piscean Ramblings…. the poetry - Piscean Ramblings Scatty piscean, / Where is your soul… / Gone off swimmin, / Into the cold… / Trippa piscean, / Your heart it is bleedin, / The truth you’re not seein, / Their souls are sold… / Foolish piscean, / Where is your sense… / Its all just a game, / Life its complex… / Tragic piscean, / Too fragile for this world. / Unless you tap in, / To that dark part of you… / Dangerous piscean, / Unpredictable at best… / Slave to your addictions, / Obsessed with your quest. / Pallid Piscean, / You so need some sun… / Embrace the daylight, / When tomorrow comes. / Maternal piscean, / You cant help them all… / Better to opt out, / And not share the fall. / Sensual piscean, / Static to the touch. / One taste of you, / And he loves you so much. / Gentle piscean, / Rage hiding well below. / Ruled by your emotions, / It is startin to show. / Passionate piscean, / Your heart it is bleeding. / But the world its not needing your love… / The world is not needing your heart and your soul, / So please will you bring yourself in from the cold… / Vengeful piscean, / Powers worth heedin, / But not really worth wreaking, / on the world. / Injured piscean, / Your bruises are healing, / Its now time to forgive and forget it all. / Shake it all off and stand up tall. / Loving piscean, / Crying piscean, / Crazy piscean, / Your one and your all. / Psycho piscean, / Emotional piscean, / Drained piscean, / Look out you dont fall. / Rambling piscean, / Ravin piscean, / Trippin piscean, / Stop thinking…. / No more. the work details / all done in ps / mixture of my own photographs / and public domain pics.. / poetry written by me. / can also be found here Image only without text is also available / Piscean Soul thankyou for taking the time to view my art and (hopefully) comment… / please have a look at my other artwork… / hope you enjoy! :) /
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Rant: Throw enough mud and some of it will stick
by Jo O'BrienThrow enough mud and some of it will stick. A mantra of sorts that I live by. My art is not for everyone, or even for most people. Someti…
Throw enough mud and some of it will stick. A mantra of sorts that I live by. My art is not for everyone, or even for most people. Sometimes it offends, shocks, upsets, arouses, inspires or invades the senses. I don’t consider that a flaw. I consider that an achievement. And I’ll put it all out there and see what happens. It sounds tacky but if it reaches only one person in a hundred, I’ve succeeded. I don’t care what the other ninety-nine people think about it. I just don’t. My concentration is fixed squarely on the person who ‘gets it.’ I’m happy to keep making art for that one person if it means I get to create the ideas and images in my head. To do anything else would be to sell myself short. If you are offended. Good.
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Snails have always drawn my attention either as an irritant, a curiosity, or a slow moving, funny-looking, walk sliming transient. Moving from place to place can’t be much of a burden if you’re never far from home, can it? Even if the house is a one-bedroom, no bath fixer-upper. But you can also look at snails as the first RV’ers, traveling all over the place with all the conveniences of home but stopping every night to hook up somewhere new for dinner. What’s the buzz with the eyes? Are they REALLY helping the critter see “over” the terrain? Or do they just look upwards to find food overhead? I know that they don’t seem to watch with their big foot steps cuz they will walk right into a line of salt as if it wasn’t even there and THAT’S not too bright. Maybe they need eyes on the top and bottom of those stalks to avoid “going green” without reducing pollutants. What does it feel like if you’re a snail and you walk on salt? Does it feel like acid and fire or like you’ve turning into a Mr. Bubble and someone is blowing your parts into horrid, green circles? Either way, it’s got to be a mind-altering experience. Or do snails not have minds? After all, they don’t exactly exhibit a lot of breath in their chosen behaviour patterns. Crawl, eat, crawl, sleep. Crawl, eat, make more snails, crawl, sleep. Repeat until you walk over line of salt. But the most strange thing of all is how much snails love a brewski. Obviously, born alcoholics, they can’t resist an empty cat food can filled with even the crappiest beer. And they don’t just get drunk; they drink until they fall in and drown or pass out and drown or just drown. They even try to bogard each other’s beer and 20 of them can drown in the same 1 inch of flat Coors.
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Casualty of Depression
by dimarieYour eyes have lost their lustre, / Your smile I see no more, / Your lack passion for all around you, / Your depression is eating my soul…...
All writing images poetry and lyrics copyright dimarie painter / 637FE-46E2D-C4743 Some people who are very dear to me are goin thru the depths of depression… / as much as I will be there for them, and do all i can… / sometimes i feel i am a bit of a casualty of their despair… / my own feelings and pain and issues are pushed aside, kept hidden, so as to give them what they need…. / I cant be there if i’m focusing on my own issues… / but sometimes it all gets a bit much / but we will get thru it / no matter how long it takes… edited to add…. / I understand depression, and its power… / those of you who know me, will knhow of my own depression that I have had since i was a child…and my utter contempt for my own depression, and denial and defiance of it that i go thru daily to the point where quite often i can come across as quite positive…full of life. / Its usually an act…to a degree…. / no words i speak are lies, i mean all of what i say, i see the good in all things, and its thru this that i have been chewed up and spat out too many times to count / and i have forgiven some of those who did wrong onto me / but others i havnt been able to… / this despair of my own, is always brimming just under the surface / always there waiting for me to get knocked down even slightly so it can consume me… / and so it does sometimes / but then the highs of life will kick in and i feel so great and truly positive and i have love and smiles for everything…. / nothing is really that bad…. / not lack of funds or food… / or peoples shitty moods / or dealing with all the past… / but it doesnt last / its never strong enough to coax my loved ones out of their own despair / and at times i have to leave / breathe / because their despair is contaminating my happy delusions… it threatens…no it does…take the sweetness out….. / and they see it…they see me breaking… / and it kills them / and that kills me / and its such a bit if a twisted mess / But i am resolved to be there for them / be there to the end
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Cyber Stalking and Bullying
by Jo O'Brien^My usual disclaimer: This is just my opinion folks. I’m not legal advice, a psychologist or even particularly well read on the topic. Al…
My usual disclaimer: This is just my opinion folks. I’m not legal advice, a psychologist or even particularly well read on the topic. All this stems from personal experience and keen observation. It’s unfortunate, but some people see the internet as their chance to behave like complete idiots, total sleazes or to rocket off their opinions to people who just don’t care. And some people seem to think hiding behind an alias and making rude comments online is actually a ‘good’ way to pick up chicks. These people can seem completely childish or stalker-ish or predatory. But they only have as much power as you give them. Jo’s Golden Rules for dealing with creepy, irritating, clingy or irrational people Rule One: Take the log out of your eye first / Did you just write a provocative political rant and now people are giving you a piece of their mind? Did you call someone a nasty name, or make an inflammatory comment? Did you ask for a critique and didn’t like what someone said? While freedom of expression is one thing, consequences to your actions is another. You may not want to admit this, but if you give people the irrits, or flaunt your saucy bits all over the place, some people will want to exercise their freedom of expression too. Yes, there is a line where it becomes unreasonable or wrong, but consider where this line is as a first step. Rule Two: Ignore them / If they bubblemail you, don’t reply, if they comment on your stuff, ignore it or delete it without a mention. Nothing drives an attention seeking person to boredom faster than when they can’t get a rise out of you. It’s like what we say to little kids at school “If Jimmy is calling you names, you just walk away from Jimmy and don’t look back” Childish behavior calls for childish measures. Rule Three: Report Them (but keep ignoring them) / The only thing less fun for these sorts of characters is when they are not only getting zero attention from you, but also have the authorities on their back. Bullying & harassment is against RedBubble’s user agreement and can be reported to admin using the links provided around the site. In fact, most sites with a social aspect have similar policies and reporting procedures. Don’t be afraid to use them. Ongoing serious stalking or threats to harm you are matters for your local police. If anyone indicates that they know where you live or are coming to get you, the local police will be much better equipped to protect or advise you than a website administrator on the other side of the planet. Rule Four: Prevention is better than cure / Use websites for what they are intended. In this case RedBubble is a place to share your creativity and connect with other artists. It’s not a dating site, reality TV experience or personal ranting blog. Behave online like you would face to face. And be aware of what personal details your are making available to the whole world. Useful Links / How can I protect myself against cyber stalking? / Risks on the Internet / How to Ignore People
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This means you!
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Rant : Chuck Palahniuk
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When we’re in love… We complains about it…
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SCREAM RANT
by pauldrobertsonI will watch a bird that steals time and feeds it to its children howl across the pale sky of morning.
a little mad. wish it would go away sometimes.
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Mini Vampires - A semi-rant
by Rhana GriffinOk… so we have all heard it at one time or another… that super annoying high pitched eeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeeeEEEEE sound that heralds yo…
Ok… so we have all heard it at one time or another… that super annoying high pitched eeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeeeEEEEE sound that heralds you are about to become the victim of one of the worlds most prolific bloodsuckers… The Mosquito. They will attack with no provocation other than the slightest bit of unprotected flesh. These scenarios I am sure we have all fallen victim to at one time or another. You are in bed, just about asleep, when you hear that eerie eeeEEEeeeeEEEeeeEEEeee sound… you just KNOW that you are gonna wake up itchy. So on goes the light, everyone frantically searches for the little bugger (who always seems to put on an invisibilty cloak the moment the light switch is flicked) you eventually give up, turn out the light, lay back down and… eeeeEEEeeeeEEEeeee The little bugger is BACK! Or… you are out with the family, having a lovely picnic, you stay just five minutes past mozzie curfew and all of a sudden all hell breaks loose! They fly in en masse in attack formation, no one can escape! In the mad rush to pack everything away in the car the dog gets folded up in one of the camp chairs and has to spend three weeks in intensive doggy chiropractic care. Or… you go out the back to hang the washing out clad only in your knickers when from out of the depths of the bushes….. oh…ummm… hang on…. scratch that. Perhaps that is only something I do…whoops! giggle Anyhoo… point is, we have all been there done that, had the itchies to prove it. So what has brought on this rant I hear you ask? Well last night, I am in the toilet (not a pleasant visual I know but bear with me, this is going somewhere) and you guessed it… eeeEEEeeeeeEEEEeeEEEE So I am frantically scanning the room, looking to squish the little bugger – lets face it, I have some delicate anatomy exposed at this point. But of course the little mongrel has put on it’s cloak of invisibility. The sound is getting louder… eeeeEEEEEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I’m starting to panic! This sounds like the mother of all mozzies come to seek revenge at my most vulnerable moment for all her brethren that I have ever squished. More urgent now… it has scented blood and is moving in for the kill… EEEEeeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Then suddenly… it stops. I can’t see it, I can’t hear it, and I know that means only one thing…. IT HAS LANDED!! I wiggle and jiggle and flap my arms around trying to dislodge the nasty little bloodsucker from my body… kinda hard when I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE BLOODY THING IS!!!! Then it starts up again… eeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeee Not quite so urgent now, it sounds like it is flying heavy, and in that instant I know… I have been SUCKED UPON!! Now, I’m all for a free feed. Lets face it, I have lots of blood, mozzies are only little, they don’t eat much, so I would have no qualms about sparing them a little…. If it weren’t for all the plague like DISEASES they carry on their little proboscuses. And I could even handle a little dose of Ross River virus if only they could manage to suck my blood without squirting that stuff into me that makes me ITCH LIKE BLOODY CRAZY FOR THE NEXT 3 DAYS!!! ..........sigh I really do despise mozzies. They are the bane of my bare flesh existence. And don’t even get me started on the mega mozzies that can suck through clothing!!! There are many myths that I have heard about mozzies over the years… some may even be fact. Truth be known I can’t be arsed researching which is truth and which is fiction so I am just going to post a few here. Only female mozzies feed on blood (bitches) Mozzies are attracted by the CO2 that we exhale (gas masks please) They have preference for certain blood types (geez… now we have DISCRIMINATING mozzies? Blood is blood after all…) Everyone is bitten by mozzies, however the people that complain of being itchy do so because they have a sensitivity to the crap they inject us with in an effort to be humane – should that be mozziemane? – and numb our skin before sinking their needle into us (I’m a big girl! I don’t need no mozzie novocaine spankyouverymuch!) What I do know for a fact is that whenever my hubby is around, I tend to not fall prey to the vampires. He, however, gets eaten alive! Great for me… pretty sucky for him though. It does have its advantages, which I am more than willing to exploit. One night, when we were travelling, hubby was asleep and I was nearly there when… eeeEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeee. The thought of getting up and doing the whole mozzie search just didn’t appeal… I was mondo tired. So I reached over…. gently pulled the sheet away from hubby’s shoulder exposing some delicious male flesh… pulled the covers up to my neck and went back to sleep. Hey! There is a little evil in all of us! laughs Ok… here endeth my rant. By the way… for those that are interested… I found that mozzie in the toilet. She had gorged herself on my butt cheeks so much that she could barely fly making her an easy target, and I guess in her blood drunkeness she had forgotten where she left her invisibility cloak. BIG mistake :)
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Why do I write, why bother?
by Anne van AlkemadeI need to write this but I will try not to be dour. It’s something I need to do and if you read it then I am grateful for your interest, ...
I need to write this but I will try not to be dour. It’s something I need to do and if you read it then I am grateful for your interest, and if you comment, then I am honoured.. I’ve been given cause to pause in recent days, weeks … months even – yes, a long pause … to think over and over about why I write creatively and what does it do for me. Is it really worth the angst? Can I be bothered expending energy and pouring out my creativity onto the page where it either is criticised for being light and fluffy or just not read? The first point I guess is to declare that I don’t write purely for catharsis. Like most writers, I have to do it, yet I feel the process is incomplete if no one reads it and has some sort of reaction. The urge is within me although a great deal of procrastination comes into play. It’s paradoxical yet true. (I have never been a great fan of Michael Leunig as clever as I believe he is, but one of his cartoons sent to me years ago by a friend has always resonated, where the hapless writer asks the doctor to surgically remove the book that’s within him). The whole thing is painful and distracting from other things in life yet for me it is where my whole life gels somehow. These all seem very good reasons to keep writing. But there is also a part of me that is an attention whore. Yes, I confess it. I need to be told constantly not how wonderful I am, but how awful I am not. Does that make sense? I have real trouble receiving praise. It has taken me years to learn how to be gracious about it because I understand that the person saying things about me or my work is giving me a gift. I will smile and say thank you. But often this is an act … not because I’m ungrateful, but because I have no idea how it could possibly be about me or anything I do. I know that’s a bollocks way to be in life and believe me … heart’s out there bloodying up my wrist. However, praise and acceptance are like a drug for me. If I get a little, I want more to try to feel its effects. If I get more, it still isn’t enough. There’s a little ‘thing’ inside me with a booming voice (like that television woman on Doctor Who) yelling “Feed Me!” As a result of this crappy psychosis, my creative efforts every 4-5 years, grind virtually to a halt leaving me desolate. If I write, my needy ego is yelling for more feedback. If I don’t, I am bereft and silent inside. Oh shit, getting angstier by the keystroke. Sorry about that. So, where to next? I guess the next question is, how do I go about getting the response I need to keep me going? Publication, of course! And I guess this is the crux of the whole journal. If I don’t do it myself, it doesn’t happen. Does that mean I am crap? Or does it just mean that my writing is simply not what people WANT to read. My money-for-jam job (and bread, milk and mortgage et al) is writing local news. I’ve done that type of thing for omg over 25 years. And it is fulfilling a need in others to know what is going on. People like what I write, usually the light hearted stuff, occasionally weightier issues although I usually choose to pass those ones to someone else (been there, done that). Sorry, that sounds arrogant. I don’t mean it to … it is not something I do lightly. I dislike negative and interrogative news style and prefer to write stuff that leaves people smiling. But while it can be a little creative, it doesn’t fulfill me in the way I need which comes from completing a short story or writing longer pieces. Are you still there? / That’s okay, I understand if you need to go now. I’m rambling. But I promise there is a point. In the world of fiction, in all it’s manifestations, do we choose to write what we think the market wants? Or do we write what fulfills our own spiritual needs? I guess I need to follow that up with: well, do you want to make money, become famous and acclaimed, or do you want to write in a dark corner somewhere and hope that someday someone might want to read your writing. Because honestly folks, the freakish occurrence like Stephen King, who wrote what he liked and was accepted with open arms into the market, is really a very unlikely thing to repeat at any regular intervals. Sure it’s schlock but the guy is a success story (and I confess to loving his schl … oops … his work!). Research the market and write to be successful? Write what appeals just to you and hope someone else likes it? I’ve only once ever done the first (that I can remember) and gain some success from it. In circa 1994 I decided to try to write a five minute fiction piece for That’s Life! . The seventh story was accepted and published. The money paid for my first computer printer! It was a big deal to me. I’ve never been able to repeat it … not because my previous and subsequent stories were bad (in my opinion the one that got published was bloody dreadful) but because it’s a lottery to be able to pick the one scenario that the editor will like at that particular day, time, month, season or whatever. And you are competing with literally thousands and thousands to make it into the 52 editions or so each year. While it was heaps of fun doing this, it provided me with little spiritual outlet for my writing. It was a distraction, at the time, from writing for the Australian competition circuit which also provided me with a few little thrills here and there, but almost no real success. Okay, let’s fast forward to now. I am much wiser (I think) but still pouting about the lack of success or acceptance or whatever. A recent rejection (sort of) from a fairly prominent writing scene in Australia made me a little angry because the rejection was not based (this time) on technique. In fact the editor said it could not be faulted on those grounds. Simply that it was not of sufficient seriousness to be included. No, it wasn’t an academic journal. But if I wanted to write academic or high brow fiction, I’d go back and do that lit honours year I was offered (if I could afford it). Evidently the handful of high distinctions I managed to get throughout the course even though not my major warranted a little encouragement from the faculty (yeah, okay, trumpet-blowing, but it surprised me and I am quite proud of it). One of the things as a writing host on Redbubble that I take very seriously, is that I try to put aside my own personal taste in choosing features or winners (where we don’t have external judges). I try to listen to what other people tell me they like and why. Because often the things that win are not to my taste. Some I just don’t get at all. But who the hell am I to decide whether or not they should be seen by others who may do? I want to write things that make people smile. Or make them feel they can participate in the worlds I create. Or nod and say, ‘hey yeah, I know that feeling’. Or shiver and think ‘what a bastard; hope they get what’s coming to them’ and know that they will. Because in my humble opinion, the western world’s problem is not about money or economy or ecology or environment – yep, they’re serious but they are symptoms. We have forgotten how to laugh. We have lost our child-like joy in living. We no longer appreciate just what we do have and focus on what we don’t. We’re so busy trying to impress everyone about how much money we have or how hard done by we are, or how clever we think we are, that we just don’t go on the whimsical journey any more. There’s no more Twilight Zone or Hitchcock Presents on TV … it’s all bloody reality tv because it’s cheaper to produce and provides no taxation on the brain stem. And even though we now have the Net where anyone can publish, there’s so much noise about trying to appear super intelligent or super stupid or super something, that we don’t just stop and read a story … however it is written. Okay, that’s my rant. It’s here now. I might take it down later. Too long, too boring or whatever. I just wish …
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