i break everything i touch. i push everyone i care about away, / i test everybody to breaking point to try and prevent getting hurt. / i w…
i break everything i touch. i push everyone i care about away, / i test everybody to breaking point to try and prevent getting hurt. / i will break your heart to try and save myself. / i laugh and i smile but you’ll never see me falling apart inside / im scared of evryone,but you’ll never see my fear. / i cry til my eyes run dry,but you’ll never see my tears. / my life story is engraved on my skin, / scars that fade,but will never really disappear. / my disguises are varied, my smiles an illusion. / you will never, ever get to know the real me. / i do not know myself. / you have been warned….
I keep telling myself that I’m a logical, independent and in control woman. I’ve always known myself pretty well, and when I do something…
I keep telling myself that I’m a logical, independent and in control woman. I’ve always known myself pretty well, and when I do something out of character or which embarrasses me, I get disgusted at myself, then sit back and think about why it happened and how I’m never going to let it happen again. And then it happens again and I repeat the whole process. Why do I do this? Am I really such an emotional person? I get upset about things that my logical mind tells me are just so small and unimportant. But my heart doesn’t seem to be reading the same guidebook to life as the rest of me. Damnit. I want my control back. Falling in love isn’t supposed to be so difficult is it? I’m supposed to know myself better, not be a mixed up mess of insecurity. How can I expect him to understand me, when I don’t even understand myself? And do others feel the same way? Am I just as normal as the rest of the world?
I woke up this morning with that song on my mind, “He ain’t heavy; he’s my brother,” and I know why. I keep thinking about one of my fel…
I woke up this morning with that song on my mind, “He ain’t heavy; he’s my brother,” and I know why. I keep thinking about one of my fellow teachers from my days in the high school classroom. He was a big, burly fellow, nothing delicate about him, but he had a heart of gold. He used to take his elderly mom and aunt on vacations all the time; once, they even flew to Hawaii. I thought that was admirable. I know they slowed him down a lot with their senior citizen pace and senior citizen ways, but my friend still took them for the ride. But that’s not what makes me associate the song with the man. It’s what he did when he found out that one of his brothers (he had several) was very sick and didn’t have the means to pay for his increasing medical expenses. My friend decided that he’d take in his brother and foot the bill. He downsized everything, selling or giving away anything that was financially cumbersome, including his house, buying a small camper trailer and moving it to the local KOA grounds where he could live cheaply and allocate most of his small teacher’s salary to his brother’s medicines, doctor visits, and hospital stays. For months, he came to work and then went home to be nursemaid to his dying brother, sacrificing his meager holdings so his brother could have the best quality of life in his last days. This is the stuff that saints are made of. My big burly friend gave to the bitter end, and though not many people know the price it cost him, I know, and now you know. In the eyes of the world, he may be just another man, overweight and balding, but in my eyes, he’s got a glow about him, the glow of self-sacrificial, unconditional love that sets him apart and makes my eyes glisten with tears just at the thought of him. And if I asked him why he did it, he’d probably say, “Shoot, it wasn’t a big deal; that was my little brother.”
I am sure some, or most of you would like to know a little more about me, so I thought I would give you all a little insight to understan…
I am sure some, or most of you would like to know a little more about me, so I thought I would give you all a little insight to understanding me! / So here goes, / I was born in a small town about 26 years ago…..... / Sorry, just kidding with that! / Seriously though, I love photgraphy and poetry. They are my two biggest passions, after my hubby of course! / I started writing poetry when I was only 12. All of my writing, to start, was very dark and sad. I quarentee if I posted my earlier writing it will bring a tear to your eye, if it doesn’t make you ball your eyes out. / I have been told that I can be closely related to Edgar Alan Poe, occasionally Robert Frost, and sometimes even Emily Dickinson. That is cool to me because they are actually my favorite 3 poets. / Recently, I found out how to write more passionately. More about love without death in it. / Since I started writing, I was told to write about what I know. most 12 year old in my class wrote about family, toys, games, occasionally love, pretty much children stuff. / I shocked my teacher when I wrote a tearful poem about a girl in World War 2 who was taken to a camp far from her family. / I shortly began writing about death and suicide and anything that pretty much was horrifying to those protected by a plastic bubble. (Though we are all safe on this bubble, we all express our true selves within this bubble. That’s why you all rock here!) / So if I post anything that may seem dark or scary, it is not my state of mind but just what I grew up around. More recenlty it has been love. So you should be safe for a while, at least until I find my earlier writing! When I was about 8 or 9, I was given a camera and asked to take a few shots of the family. It was an instant addiction! / I went to Vancouver, B.C. when I was 15, and learned how to snap shots that were absolutely postcard perfect! (Although here, you don’t see it as much because I do not get around to all of those places. Someday soon, I will be posting my younger years photos for you all to see!) / I was told so many times how beautiful my photgraphs were. So it was almost better than writing about death because I was capturing life for everyone to see. And when people had seen my photos, they did not cry. That was gratifying for me. I have always believed in expressing your true self wether it is in photos or words. If you feel bad, grab a camera and go for a walk. If you feel happy in love, grab a notepad and begin writing. (Although I did it slightly backwards!) If I make you feel joy or arousal from my writing, then that is awesome. If I make you feel sorrow or anger from my writing, well then again I did what I was trying to do. / If my photos scare you or make you laugh or be in total awe, then I am doing something right. If my photos make you think I can do better and am not doing what you think I can do, well then let me know. I can take the criticism! I also would like to let you know that with my writing, it is not always the way I truely feel when I post it. Some, yes, but pertaining to anything I write about death or pain or betrayal, it is just something that I knew best as a child and as a teen. Now, I only know what it is like to be surrounded by love. (I just like my dark poetry because it was the best writing I ever produced!) / I hope this helps anyone who may have had questions about my personality.
Following is another possible entry to the book I would like to publish about relationships. I believe many of us are dependant upon…
Following is another possible entry to the book I would like to publish about relationships. I believe many of us are dependant upon externals for our happiness. We look for so many things to make us happy but how many of these things are heart felt desires? I believe that we have been brainwashed by society with regards to what will make us happy. As a result we become very single minded about certain people or external things we need in our lives. This is none more evident than when we think of soul mates. Personally I do believe in them but believe that in most cases they will only work once each individual has connected to their own soul first. If either partner is not secure their soul mate is likely to become their sole purpose for living. This is the ugly side of romantic relationship. One or both partners become so dependant upon the other for their existence and happiness. The end result is a strangulation of life. Fear of loss being so great that the person feels scared to be truly free. I know how this feels as I have been there regularly. In fact the deeper one’s capacity to feel the greater the fear of loss. This example with soul mates permeates all sorts of human relationship in my opinion. Many parents place enormous dependency upon their kids for their own happiness. Their kids become so important to their own sense of self that these kids become sole points of interest in the parent’s life. Hence once again the parent’s energy strangles the child’s freedom and their own. Some others do this with status or wealth or their own appearances. They place something as a major priority in their lives and become ignorant to other people and activities that surround them. By placing sole importance on one or limited aspects of life they cut themselves off from so much experience and wisdom and freedom and strength. I believe our souls know exactly what people and experiences we need to achieve and maintain joy and peace. The trick is to be open and courageous enough to do what it takes to hear our souls. However these days so many of us seem so controlled by childhood fears that are long forgotten that we listen more to our peers than to our own souls. The thing is society and peers are far from pure and divine. If we are to listen to these controlling forces we are going to be encouraged to be selective and judge mental. To target selected activity and people over looking at each person and activity with an open mind. The thing is the more we think and live like this the further separated we become from our soul and from any meaningful relationship with our soul mate. www.leapoffaith.com.au www.bodylinecal.com
Respect each person / Whom you meet on your path, / Observe their merit, / Offer your hand in friendship / Your heart with love / open and tru…
Respect each person / Whom you meet on your path, / Observe their merit, / Offer your hand in friendship / Your heart with love / open and true, If it is refused / Bless them, / And move forward / It is their loss / Not yours… K.B 2007. Happy valentines to all….may your heart be full of love and happiness even if it’s only for yourself, for you count…..hugs Kym xxx
I ♥ The Cat Empire. I have a red dot :) I’m on voluntary staff for RB now as a greeter :) yay! I get to annoy help the new …
I ♥ The Cat Empire. I have a red dot :) I’m on voluntary staff for RB now as a greeter :) yay! I get to annoy help the new members :D I’ve also just ordered 8, i think, cards so I can’t wait for them to arrive :D (thanks Challenge Cafe for the coupon!) In sadder news, i return to school tommorrow and have.. lots of stuff i’ve neglected to do. And so, since i’m constantly checking this addictive site, i’m posting a to do list for myself :( holiday assessments! shame on you imogene! Write your essays! Read your texts! Update your VAPD! Call Erin! b&w contest features for the winners. (omgggggggg so overdue) create something! think about life. stop posting pointless journals stop falling in love like refrain from changing your profile picture multiple times in a day/week peace out guys, ♥
the need for acceptance of something better then me that is the opposite sex / is what i thought would make me better, but a better unders…
the need for acceptance of something better then me that is the opposite sex / is what i thought would make me better, but a better understanding of who i am / and where i’m going, makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better. I am a good person / who lets people walk all over him… for what reason, low self esteem? I am working on me from now on, a change.. for the better, whether you like it or not, me being happy is the most important thing to me, and if you don’t wanna be invloved or wanna help… / i guess you can go on your merry little way and stay the fuck away from me! mattchew n niki I t leave joshy out d=)
back with the ex, past fiance love never left turned into a retard by her beauty and her smile
back with the ex, past fiance love never left turned into a retard by her beauty and her smile
I set myself free from the tyranny of self judgement. I allow myself the gift of seeing the magnificent big picture. The magnitude an…
I set myself free from the tyranny of self judgement. I allow myself the gift of seeing the magnificent big picture. The magnitude and awe of life and people. I create myself free and loving, giving and accepting of all things, places, people and me. I release me from the idea that I know what is right and best, pretty and ugly. I surrender to the understanding deep in my heart that I know nothing and that the human spirit is so full and grand there is no word to describe it. And deep within me I see me in truth, in beauty. Bypassing my percieved physical imperfections, my percieved wrongs. There are no wrongs. There is no reason to forgive myself. Rather only a vast loving space inside me of gratitude for allowing myself the experience to grow, expand and truly know me in my brightness of self love. Love thyself. / -Eliq
MY SISTER IS BACK AND ROCKIN HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN the spirit of growth I am featuring this pic in my journal because I have yet to ha…
MY SISTER IS BACK AND ROCKIN HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN the spirit of growth I am featuring this pic in my journal because I have yet to have the balls to do this, even though I want to. This is my SISTER,( cassandraoftroy) and I am loving this new burst of self esteem that she is having and the balls she had to post this pic. Check her out and drop her a hello…she’s my favorite people!!
Thank you all for featuring my photo in the “Live, Love and Dream” group. I was surprised and excited as this is my first time! I appr…
Thank you all for featuring my photo in the “Live, Love and Dream” group. I was surprised and excited as this is my first time! I appreciate all the hard work all of you do make this group possible and to keep it running smoothly :) / Keep a dreamin’ / :) / laurie puglia
Allo Allo!! i just recently upload this new piece today, I Love Me – Have You Loved Yourself Today?...
Allo Allo!! i just recently upload this new piece today, I Love Me – Have You Loved Yourself Today? / / Please do check it out, as i think RB might have failed to add it into watcher’s activity list.. i guess it’s because i had it on “Hide this work from others” mode first.. dang… UPDATE: This piece just got featured on Thought Bubble Group and The Patchwork Group!! Awww… Thank you, Moderators!!! =D Hope you like it! =D There are some of us, who took it upon ourselves to do things for others. to help others.. to make others happy.. but we forgot about ourselves! we forgot that we need to make ourselves happy too. we need to love ourselves too. if we don’t love ourselves, who’ll love us? i dedicate this to every one of you kind souls out there!! remember to always love yourself as well!! =D i especially thank Karin who kept reminding me that i am love-able as well. bad history and with the kind of people i’m surrounded by, i was made to believe that nobody will love me for everything that i am. am made to realise all my faults and bad points and weaknesses. made to believe am ugly and useless. having depression doesn’t help as i view myself as nothing more than a mental girl. i totally believe that it’s impossible for anyone to really love me. But Karin showed me otherwise. she made me answer and admit my pretty gd points.. and i realised.. hey!! i can be love-able?! am still trying to accept that now.. lolz.. it’s still kinda hard to accept, having been instilled those “i sux!” mindset for years… ahahahah.. XD Thank you, Karin!! GLOMPZ!!! fa: i had to force Tim to carry that signage cos he wouldn’t say the words!! stupid monster.. / Tim: it says I Love Me!! how can you love yourself!! you’re big, fat, ugly and you’re mental with me in your head!! / fa: awww.. i can love you too, can’t i~ XD / Tim: NOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also available as magnets / keychains / and buttons /
Did you know I love you? Well I do. I love it when you giggle, I love it when you play with my toes, I even… NO WAIT. It’s all lies. I just want you to vote for me. I mean, if you want to. Click the banner above (or here) to hit my entry and then find the tiny “VOTE” and then click it until you’ve got RSI. I really do like it when you play with my toes though.
“Intimacy – II” was featured in the group Woman Appreciation / !http://images-2.redbubble.net/img/art/framecolor:black/framestyle:box2…
“Intimacy – II” was featured in the group Woman Appreciation / “Face lift (to a self-portrait)” was featured in the group Artrageous RB Artists and Their Creative Adventures I am very grateful to the hosts of these two groups!!!
“Self-Love”, artwork available at my RedBubble has been published on a french magazine called PREF Magazine Thanks for Leo Sánchez for…
“Self-Love”, artwork available at my RedBubble has been published on a french magazine called PREF Magazine Thanks for Leo Sánchez for the article, the people at PREF Magazine and RedBubble for the promotion Really, really appreciated It made my day The magazine is bimonthly and it’s available currently for January and February (No. 30) Here is a scan copy (thanks to Rafael Mendes): Eduardo Gómez Escamilla
Thank You Bits and Pieces Group For Wonderful Feature… The Pieces both art and write ” Said Me.. Said I..”. Has Meant Alot to Me In …
Thank You Bits and Pieces Group For Wonderful Feature… The Pieces both art and write ” Said Me.. Said I..”. Has Meant Alot to Me In My Life For When I Focus On Me I Am Not Feeling And With God .. I Live In Pity And Misery And Selfishness I Build My Own Walls And I Wanted To Share That And Help Somone Else See That Too… for this honesty and recognition of truth led me to a new life …. I Am Very Grateful To Roxy Lust For The Beautiful Artwork And Helping Carrying that message… She’s an Angel…Here / Shake….Shake , / That Old Man / Said Me… Say, I … / Fire and Brimstone / Punishment… / Condemnation, / Fear, / Desperation… / I lifted My Voice / To You…Hear Me / See Me, Said Me / Say I… / My Sorrow / Golden Silence… / Fell No Reply… / Patience…Cried / Me… Cry I… / Unworthiness… / Anger, Why…Not…Me? / Not, I?... Shouted … / I Cursed Turned… / For, The Worse. / No Matter, To Me … / Said Me…Said, I… / Spinning …Downward / Spiral… Decision? / Hell, I’m Imprisoned / By….Whom ?... / Immaterial! / Said Me… Say, I… / Alone Not ‘Free / Trapped… Blind / Could Not See. / Search, Search …For / Me?...Said Me, Why / Me? Why Me?... / Why…I?... / Believe in You…Father / No… Not Me! / Why Bother…Said / Not Me…By… I… / Contemplation …A / Desperate …Situation / Look…At Yourself? / I, Heard Myself???? / Not Me, Not I… / Inner Stirrings God’s… / Teaching My Yearning… / I’ll Answer Said Me , / Say I….Honestly… / True I Listened, To You… / Said Me, Say I… / Spirit Filled, Driven… / I Made A Decision… / For You…. God… / Not I Said Me , Say, I / Said Me… Say , I… / Freed My Spirit / Flying Soars, Ever / Higher..With… / Fulfilled Desire… / Grateful…I Am / Wiser, Said Me … / Not I…Long Not.. / I Wander… / For Love Is…Not / Pondered Stillness… / Apprehension, / Be Quiet I’ll Listen… / Said Me… Say, I… / God ,Look To / Your Heavens / I Am Forgiven! Lord, / Said You… Not …I . / ( Shaking the Old Man) Hugs And Blessings / Amber Elizabeth
You’ll never find what you’re looking for if you’re constantly seeking externally. Far too many people truly believe that what they seek …
You’ll never find what you’re looking for if you’re constantly seeking externally. Far too many people truly believe that what they seek to find is “out there.” One thing I’ve learned for sure is that you’ll find what you seek when you turn the focus inward. Your self-worth, self-esteem, forgiveness, acceptance, love, happiness, and many answers to life’s questions come from inside of you. Do not seek to understand yourself through others. One of the biggest issues with this world is that we have broken people seeking answers from broken people. This leads to more questions, more confusion. It’s even worse if you’re seeking your truth from someone else and you adopt their screwed up perception of reality as your own. I always find it interesting when people believe that “The One” is out there somewhere, and they seek, and seek and seek, all the while having zero clue what they even want. The truth is that you will not find “The One” until you become “The One.” And finding “The One” will never happen until you are happy with yourself. If you’re not happy with yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to be?
‘My Soul is Sometimes Blue’ was featured in Freedom to Shine !http://images-2.redbu…
‘My Soul is Sometimes Blue’ was featured in Freedom to Shine ‘Rainbow Feathers’ was featured in Live, Love, Dream “Out of the deep have I called unto thee oh lord …” was featured in A Beautiful Blur ‘Cherub’ came in the top ten in the Face Shots Challenge in the Shameless Self Promotion group. ‘Tiny Toes’ came in the top ten in the Objects challenge in the High Key Group Many thanks to all the groups involved, for the features and the great challenges. It’s always a priviledge to have a feature or come in the top ten.
I have a confession.. I used to fall asleep with my laptop on my belly sometimes.. with some inane News program on.. (Not you Keith Oberm…
I have a confession.. I used to fall asleep with my laptop on my belly sometimes.. with some inane News program on.. (Not you Keith Oberman nor you Rache Maddowl … ) or a series I get for free on NBC or ABC.. / . / I went to my Mac Store to fix my Iphone and asked the Genius.. Why does my laptop battery get so hot? He says.. “do you have your computer in your sheets?” (wow my sheets did he say, not bed nor blanket..did he say sheets and how the hell did he know that is exactly where my lap top is if not on my belly ..?) “Well yes” I said “infact I do.” He told me that is a big no no. Flat surface for sure miss that is what you need he told me, and so I intended that evening to get a breakfast like tray or something to put it on, but I thought tomorrow, tomorrow I will find just the right thing for my computer for my evening ritual (ugly habit). / . / My great desire as of late, actually for the past well,,, uhmm 2 months is that I stop this ritual (U.H.) and go to bed with a good book or read some of my stuff i am developing to teach. I mean this has been a great desire of mine. I do have a powerful desire factor but sometimes due to my old story lines..(I have some addiction tendencies perhaps) I seem to put off what actions will truly serve me till I am up against the wall.. or as my mother used to say.. “Lina, why must you go to the depths of hell before you realize what you really should be doing?” aww mom.. I don’t know.. really? do I do that? hummmm.. and off I would go finding another storyline that would indeed beat me all to hell. But note .. I think I liked it like that then. / Now.. nope.. I want a new story line. That of health, wealth and well Being. / . / Here is the kicker. I came home after finding out about the poor treatment of my computer and battery and did it again.. fell asleep with the computer on some inane show.. crappy sleep … woke up.. hot hot battery (3:00am) pulled the battery out of computer and passed out again. .. more shit sleep. / Next morning, yesterday I woke up and found the battery died or I am thinking fried. Now what is funny is I have been doing this forever. But because of my great desire for change and the fact that I did indeed focus on ‘battery’ yesterday, funny how that worked. I have Apple Care and will fix the battery, but I am giving myself 3 weeks to go back. They say developing a good habit takes at least that time to occur. And here is the Secret / I created that whole thing just for ME!!! / Last night I slept like a baby.. and you know what? I FEEL SO DAMN GOOD! Love this Law Of Attraction, Yep… I Did That! xox / Linaji
After being absent for a couple of days, there was a nice surprise waiting at the RB pages, so I am happy to tell that “In the Name of Lo…
After being absent for a couple of days, there was a nice surprise waiting at the RB pages, so I am happy to tell that “In the Name of Love” was voted as the most popular entry in the Shameless Self-Promotion group challenge – Black and red. / Many thanks to all of you kind people who liked and voted for my entry. / Best wishes, / Miloš You can see more of the challenge entries here: / http://www.redbubble.com/groups/shameless-self-promotion/challenges/7409-black-and-red
In the Midst of Love: The End for sale on eBay FREE P&H!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Lonely Blue Hearts for sale on eBay FREE P&H!!
Hey bubble buddies, I’ve uploaded a small promotional video to YouTube for the new book “The Body And The Self”, coming 2010. “http…
Hey bubble buddies, I’ve uploaded a small promotional video to YouTube for the new book “The Body And The Self”, coming 2010. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndd-vAkf1Sg peace and love.
Honest, this one won’t be super-long like the last journal on ArcadiaTempest and Tori Amos, but I hope it makes you smile :D “Clipics”...
Honest, this one won’t be super-long like the last journal on ArcadiaTempest and Tori Amos, but I hope it makes you smile :D Clipics (aka Love ‘N’ Laughter Kriss ♥) has a terrific sense of humour and I love a video collage he’s posted on YouTube – many evocative and powerful self-portraits Obviously, being very modest and introverted, the musical accompaniment to his self portraits is Air’s Sexy Boy which never fails to make me laugh PS: He also enjoyed a previous journal I posted on The Muppet Show therefore rocks just like Sax and Violence Cheers / Debs / xoxo
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