/ / / image title – the inner sanctum Manic Reflections . . . One day i awakened to a simply sweet, “I heart you!” message on my bathroom mirror. Days later, a bi-polar/manic/sleep-deprived version of me impulsively grabbed my camera, tripod, trusty remote and started striking poses in my mirror. Wishing to immortalize the i heart you message, in some way, before zapping it with Mr. Windex! So . . . i crouched up on my counter, gradually getting closer and closer to the mirror. It was wonderfully strange, surreal and comical – as i carefully attempted to seat myself in the bathroom sink . . . while the rest of me perched perilously on the bathroom counter. Purging my manic energy, creatively, provided me with a sense of relief and surrender. After this series was photographed, i went on to photograph two more, in my studio. It was after the photographing of the three, separate series – that i was finally able to slip toward slumber. So what follows are manic reflections . . . partake and enjoy :) / image title – another version of me / image title – the sensual realm / image title – the chameleon / image title – the mirror speaks / image title – fragile / image title – the confrontation / image title – inward bound Bi-polarities . . . Around 18 it started to sink in that something not-quite-right was going on in my frantic mind. As I was always struggling to pay attention in school . . . i also became aware that i would get these incredible highs, feeling euphoric, invincible, on top of the world – no matter what my actual reality was . . . everything was grandiose! These manic episodes usually lasted about 2 weeks, followed by the worst lows which often lasted months. In a depressive state everything was life and death, everyday problems became overwhelming, i just wanted to crawl into a quiet, dark corner and simply cease to exist. Then there were those inbetween states where i guess i would be what was considered “normal” though to me these inbetween states felt like emotional flat-lining, i felt kind of numb – being so used to the extreme emotions i felt most of the time. When i was younger, my manic episodes were amazing, accompanied by feelings of invincibility, euphoria and pseudo-bliss. I would feel on top of the world! Now, these manic episodes are more dark and frenetic in nature. And i find myself craving the sleep these manic episodes deprive me of. It’s hard to stay on schedule/task when i go day, after day – without sleep. I don’t have more energy when i am manic, i am just more hyper and restless, unable to slow down – which creates the illusion of high energy . . . inside my body and mind are crying out for sleep. It would take another 12 years before i learned how to manage these intense moodswings, learned to go with the flow and how to keep my head above water – no matter what my mood. There were years of self-destructive coping methods and soul numbing medications. Eventually i decided to approach my bi-polarity from a spiritual/holistic perspective. I decided to go vegan and stopped consuming foods loaded with additives/preservatives. I learned about behavioral management, structure, meditation/yoga, prayer, daily spiritual renewal and daily exercise. Putting all of these things into practice, over time . . . allowed me to utilize my moods creatively AND constructively. beingnormalisoverrated JAEDA! / /
/ / Why Red? / I love accenting images with Red because red is the color of pain, the color of love, of stolen innocence, it is the color that flows during birth when a woman brings life into this world, it is often the color that flows out of us as we leave this earth. Today i am sharing part one of, “The Bride of Innocence”. The backgrounds you see are from the balcony pics i took during the daytime. WHAT THE LOSS OF INNOCENCE ISN’T My fellow creative Marny Barnes offered me some words that were powerful and rang true: I refuse to beleive that you don’t hold a peice of that innocene still…somewhere in all that torture you were strong enough to keep some of that innocence safe and just for you. AND I will tell you why I think that. YOU STILL see beauty all around you, / You bleed beauty and innocence out of all your work, / You touch the beauty in the torture and the pain and it grows roses…and color….and ART. If you had no innocence, you would not see the world and other peoples art with such wonder. I SEE INNOCENCE IN YOU. / YOUR HEART IS PURE AND BEAUTIFUL. YOUR ART IS BEAUTIFUL. / THE WORDS YOU LEAVE TO INSPIRE OTHERS / (ON YOUR OWN WORK…..AND THEIRS) IS BEAUTIFUL There is a mourning for the innocence i never got to have or experience as a child. / That is part of what makes incest and sexual abuse so painful. HOWEVER . . . / Marny brought to the light of my consciousness, something i failed to realize and address in my work . . . That my sweetness, my love, did not die when i was abused. It is still at my core and at my essence. My love of sweet joys remain, my softness, light, grace and hope. And these are aspects i will seek to express in my future survivor-orientated work. And i thank you Marny so much for bringing that to the surface of my consciousness. THE CONCEPTION / The Bride of Innocence (Jaeda as the Brides) was conceived back toward the end of May. That’s when construction workers put up scaffolding and started tearing down the supports on my 3rd story balcony and tarped it off. The construction guys worked a few days on my balcony, tearing stuff down, said something about needing to get permits – due to structural damage . . . and they haven’t been back since. So i decided i would get some pictures, now that my balcony is double long (they tore down the wall that separates my neighbor and me). Everything was bathed in a surreal blue light, from the tarp. The scaffolding was also double long and it looked like an endless hallway leading to the land of dreams, to heaven, anything your imagination can conjure up. The balcony itself looked very sad, broken and i kind of liked it’s decayed appeal and thought, at least i could use this to my advantage, creatively! So i went out on my balcony, during the day and night, and took lots of pictures. At night the tarped scaffolding resembled a boat marina or harbor at night. It looked so very different from, the hallway to heaven, of daylight. Previous to the balcony pictures, i had taken some studio pics of me in a makeshift bridal gown. I borrowed the bridal veil from my sister. Ripped the satin bottom off of an old nightgown for the top and used a sheer window treatment panel for the gown part/bottom because i don’t sew! LOL The bridal pictures i took of myself in the studio are what popped into my head as i was photographing the balcony and “The Bride of Innocence” was conceived. It is a slightly sad, disturbing series . . . but i wanted the next series i created to be along the lines of my Red Jane series. I felt like digging deep into all the little nooks and crannies of my soul and Spirit. All of those dark, repressed places that cry out to be acknowledged and expressed. partake and enjoy PEACE and LIGHT / j a e d a :) The Bride of Change The Bride of CHANGE / Peers through the isolating veil of pain and abuse – she is vulnerable / Her weakness is her strength because she OVERCOMES For she will no longer succumb to a tainted existence / Nor the toxic relationships, that leave dark stains on her soul / She knows . . .these ghosts of perversion and possession must go And the red of pain mixes with pink whispers of hope / She summoning the strength / To reach out, start anew and become WHOLE © Jaeda DeWalt listen to Jaeda recite The Bride of Change / —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- The Bride of Innocence Pretty in Pink / She softly mourns for the bride she never got to be / No pristine, white gown for this lovely lady / She will never be the Bride of INNOCENCE She does not seek what she can not be given . . . / For innocence is the one gift, / That once stolen, / Can never be replaced yet the loss is forgiven © Jaeda DeWalt listen to Jaeda recite The Bride of Innocence / —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- The Bride of Pain The Bride of PAIN is stuck inside / A blurry nightmare / As her subconscious rewinds her past / And plays it for her – over and over again . . . It is the kind of nightmare where / Violated flesh bleeds red / And the sound of innocence being stolen gets lost / Inside a hazy maze of surreal blue hues She falls to her knees in agony / She wants to find her way out of this repetitive dream / She knows to save herself / She must change the ending . . . © Jaeda DeWalt listen to Jaeda recite The Bride of Pain —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- CLOSE-UPS / /
/ / Thank you RedBubble for featuring Red Autumn on your homepage :) / I am doubly excited about this because it is the image i donated to / Hope for Chloe / You can acquire Red Autumn through Hope for Chloe by clicking here HOPE FOR CHLOE / And thank you Kellie of KcranmerArt for bringing my attention to this precious little girl. / Chloe Clinton, is 6 years old and has been diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma. She is facing below the knee amputation on December 12th. If you would like to help little Chloe, you can donate an image of yours (to be viewed for sale here at RB) and hopefully help build enough money to help her and her family. Please visit the link below, to learn how you can donate an image of yours: / Hope for Chloe / Together we can make a difference :) PEACE and LIGHT / j a e d a / /
/ / My new book, J A E D A shades of the soul is finally complete! HURRAY! / It is available in 3 different formats: / 1. soft cover, / 2. hard cover w/image wrap / 3. and hard cover w/dust jacket. The book is standard portrait size, 40 pages and is printed on premium paper with 8×10 full bleed images. ISBN: 978-1427639462 Detailed book information can be viewed here You can virtually preview the first 15 pages of the book here Please go here to learn how to acquire a signed copy of my book. Detailed book information can be viewed here You can virtually preview the first 15 pages of the book here Thank you to everyone who encouraged and supported me with this book project. I hope this book inspires and delights, makes you feel, connect and is able to transport you to soulful spaces. This was a labor of love and i worked very hard to make this book be the best reading experience it could possibly be! PEACE, LOVE and LIGHT / j a e d a :) / /
I am honored and jazzed that Redbubble featured my image The Satin Seduction on their homepage. Hurray! T H A N K Y O U And thank you to my Redbubble community for all of the beautiful image comments. XOXO / jaeda / /
/ / Read my interview, learn more about my creative stuff and fun artist factoids ;) Artist Feature / V-day Article / Book Feature Articles crafted by Dawn Bonner – Editor in Chief – Living Life . . . Boomer Style Magazine PEACE, LOVE and LIGHT / j a e d a :) P.S. I’m on Facebook – Join Me :) / My Personal Page My Facebook Art Page
I warmly welcome you to walk through my soul via this black and white video o…
I warmly welcome you to walk through my soul via this black and white video of my self-portraits, music, artography, video clips and the spoken word. It includes new pictures, previously unpublished pictures and candid shots. About this Video: / Creating my first little art video has been a hard labor of love. It reconnected me with my passion for composing music and it feels good to express myself in this new, multi-media format. It is so personal. From the deepest depths of my heart and soul to yours…. Black and White Emotions Desperation leads to inspiration… / I wanted to create a video, all i had was Windows Movie Maker. I was determined to make that program work for me! LOL For the music i had a digital voice recorder, a 5 Octave electronic keyboard and some sound effects. Mixed it using my Windows Sound Recorder. That was a l little tricky, lol, but i made it work! Proof positive that creativity can make up for, what one lacks, in resources :). experience FEEL c o n n e c t / XO / jaeda :) /
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