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• Chinese & Amsterdam Storeys
  by Maxwell Edward

  “Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” J…

  “Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” Jermaine takes charge as usual. “I imagine you can sir. Well my friend will have special fried rice and I will have special sweet n sour chicken. Could you make sure it’s especially sweet n sour though? Thanks sir.” People love to eat Chinese. More often the meals though…for the appetisers may prove too fattening over time. Neville and Jermaine have definitely had their share of fattening up over time. Neville is said to eat more Chinese than most Chinese and as for Jermaine, he probably eats more of most things than most people. “Jerry, don’t you think it’s strange how he mentioned they serve some of the greatest Chinese delicacies?” Jermaine who finds nothing short of highly unusual strange, makes a joke from anything less of great importance. “_Why_? What did you expect in a Chinese Restaurant, Indian food?” Neville who hears these jokes more often than not (but still not in appreciation of them) seems to always be misunderstood. “No, I mean, we’re not Chinese. I can’t see anyone in here that is Chinese…In fact I would say that the only Chinese this restaurant ever sees is on the plates. So, they could get away with telling us that this restaurant actually serves the greatest Chinese delicacies. Why would they not?” Jermaine’s opinion always went back to philosophy. “Some wise advice I have for you Nev. Never question the Chinese.” Something about the way the duo talked, it was utter enjoyment. The puns continuously employed emphasised it. A certain kind of pleasure whenever they accompanied one another was unleashed. “Oh Jerry, you got to hear about what happened to my cousin. _You’ll never believe it_…So Ben was in Amsterdam for some time, on holiday or something. Well on the last week he jumped off the top of a three-storey apartment balcony.” Jermaine who believes most things reasonable, but also hesitates in jumping to conclusions always feels obliged to question the situation. “Why the hell would anyone do something like that?” Neville started blushing. He was never as outgoing as Jermaine, even being questioned made him feel slightly insecure. “Well Jerry, you know my cousin Benjamin. No one questions him.” A certain kind of tension was building somewhere between Nevilles growing timidity and Jermaine’s pursuing nerves. “I think anyone thinking about jumping off the third storey of an apartment should be prepared to answer a lot of questions.” There was an uncomfortable short-lived silence between the duos. Neville thought of it as his responsibility to protect his cousin’s reputation, yet his loyalty had previously shown to lead to misdemeanours. Neville decided to break his loyalty for what his reason was telling him was sensibility. “Yeah Jermaine, agreed. Benjamin sure must be a moron hey. Oh, which reminds me, did I tell you he is going to become a lawyer?” The Chinese waiter had brought back the dishes. This is possibly the fastest time a waiter had brought out dishes (which were supposed to be quality cuisines). Then again, Jermaine and his friends always had their doubts about Chinese restaurants. Over their many meals they had discussed many things ranging from the health issues to the political and economic consequences of the different restaurant franchises. The Chinese waiter did not talk this time. He had a chilling frown cast upon his face. Perhaps he had heard their talking? Perhaps it was just the all-round atmosphere of working in such a demanding service. Jermaine and Neville dug into their meals, each choosing their pick of chop sticks and spoon respectively although ironically not in quite a disorderly manner. It was only lucky that Neville chose a spoon for the fried rice to prevent any more mess (if more mess were possible). “So Nev, back to the story; now that you tell me Mr. Benjamin wants to be a lawyer…that makes much more sense; their all lying bastards. This is one big story to you in order to gain your sympathy or something. It can’t really be explained, except that he is behind it all…” “Not true. I saw his bandages and cuts and sores; everything. That can’t really be faked.” “I’m sure for a lawyer, anything can be faked. Any kind of falsehood can be created and unleashed by those guys!” “No seriously. Okay here’s the story, he said he went to a party. He got pretty drunk knowing it was his last week. Who knows maybe he even did…goddamn man it’s Amsterdam! I don’t have to mention the possibilities, their limitless! Anything could have happened. Well anyway, he woke up and that is when the nurse told him what had been reported to her.” “You know what this sounds like? Chinese whispers. She said this; he said that, you say this…” Sceptical Jermaine could never let any possibility go. “Okay whatever, whatever.” Neville had enough. This sort-of-debate had turned into a sort-of-argument. It was time for him to try and change the mannerism of things “Hey Jerry, this kind of talking is probably not good for eating, let’s just eat okay. I mean just the other day I saw the scars and bleeding…well you know.” Eating continued. Polite (enough) slurping of Chinese tea and rice among other things died down the sound of thought. Than Jermaine continued speaking, but not where they left off. “Hey Nev, I’ll be back in a minute. Just have to convenience myself!” Neville sat there. Five minutes boring his intellect- no one to talk to! Jermaine returned. Back to his meal; back to messy eating and the hope of more polite interesting talk. Before Neville had seen it, Jermaine had finished the rest of his special sweet n sour. “Hey Neville, are you still feeling hungry at all?” Before Neville had a chance to reply Jermaine had beckoned the waiter over and ordered “Special Chinese fortune cookies”. The cookies came in no time at all again. It made it seem like there was surely something efficiently magical about this restaurant. “Hey Nev, can you tell me about this story a bit more. So would you get this, I actually heard about a story similar to his; actually two stories, exactly like his…they both sort of were like these crazy stories where these things happened to guys in…well Chinese restaurants actually!” Neville was only half listening, except the information was still unconsciously processing into his mind. He opened his fortune cookie. “No I do not believe it! Coincidences of such do not occur! Madness unleashed!” Neville started shaking intensely, trembling, his usual steady figure rumbling in what looked like fear; his skin pale and pupils dilating and goose bumps on his skin forming. Than he shoved his hands over his head and continued his fearful actions half-hidden by the table. Jermaine grabbed the little slice of Chinese paper, it must be not so fortunate whatever the fortune be he thought! “You will suffer falling three-storeys tonight. Do not question the Chinese” They both sat there; Jermaine seemingly doing and thinking nothing except watching the actions of Neville. Neville with his behaviour turning more and more intense and shocking as seconds progressed and turned into minutes. “Neville!” Neville took no notice, for a moment, to only a moment later reply, “What? Don’t you fucking get this? Can’t you see what’s happening?” Jermaine looked at his watch. Five minutes. Long enough…longer would be dangerous perhaps. “My good friend Neville. I have a confession. I put that note in your cracker…it’s to teach you a lesson really. But it’s also quite a cracker now too to think of it! You should have seen the look on your face! And my friend, I’ll tell you the moral of the story…Question anything with suspicion, even the Chinese, otherwise who knows what will be unleashed!”

• My top 5 for your top 5
  by Cathleen Tarawhiti

  Easy / You look through my work and pick your favourite top 5 and I will / look through your portfolio and tell you my favourite 5. / I’ll …

  Easy / You look through my work and pick your favourite top 5 and I will / look through your portfolio and tell you my favourite 5. / I’ll show you mine if you show me yours – without the nakedness. Unless you feel the need to show me in which I’ll post you here in all your glory for the viewers pleasure.

• Five Examples of How It Goes
  by Alice Robinson

  1. / Sometimes she goes in to shops just to look at the way the other women fondle the clothes. She watches their fingers, always longer a…

  1. / Sometimes she goes in to shops just to look at the way the other women fondle the clothes. She watches their fingers, always longer and smoother than hers; she imagines them to belong to dancers, or classical pianists. Fingers like that she thinks, would spend time tracing, accurately, the faces of many men. In communal change rooms she tries on garments she knows to be the wrong size, just to look, furtively, at the other shopper’s legs. She notices calf muscles, hard as unripe pears, and believes them to belong to the early morning swimmers, or women who live in new apartments with stairs. She has not yet dared to follow any shoppers out of the store, but she does not lie to herself; it is only a matter of time. 2. / Every year they just keep getting younger and the colour of their hair changes for the worse. It is not that she resents them, although at times she does not deny that when they walk out the door at the end of their shift, she wishes them ill. It is worse than the clichéd ‘youth is wasted on the young’, she understands that this catch phrase was developed by someone in the prime of their life; certainly no one of her years could articulate the way it feels to wake up immobile and alone in such a flippant manner. She is not as bad as some, there are no adult diapers delivered with her initials marked in red, yet. And she manages to be pleasant, to their faces, mostly. But she is still here. Still old. And that is enough. 3. / It is when she reads his emails that she considers the fact: things might not be going well. They have been married two years and she has been routinely sniffing the collars of his shirts since they got back from the Bahamas. She does not know what she is looking for, exactly, but she has seen enough of Hollywood to know that this is part of the procedure, and necessary. What she discovers of his inbox is that she has married a man who is unimaginative; he saves and forwards bad jokes sent by office colleagues. What she does not find are love letters of any kind, or even any correspondence from other women, except his mother, who hardly counts. This does not deter her, however. She has never believed him to be stupid, only too well organised. Another woman, she fears, may find this to be an irresistible quality in a man. Later, she orchestrates a moment in which she is alone in his car. It seems almost too clean; her suspicions grow, tumorous. It is plausible, she imagines, that he is leading a double life. Somewhere, another woman is also looking for clues. 4. / Other women, she has read, collect babies’ clothes and keep them. She is too sensible for that kind of thing; she is a woman who runs her own business. In her closet there are some beautiful things. She has noticed that strangers often compliment her on a broach or scarf. On weekends she spends amounts of time shopping, she declines to say how long when friends enquire. Other women, according to the books she buys, seek counselling. This is not something she considers worthwhile, although believes it may work for some, the deluded ones. She is as proud of her home as she is of her wardrobe. Yet she tells no one of the silence that choruses through its rooms when she returns there after work. This, like so many things, she presents as a choice. Only she knows that there are some doors to some rooms that always stay shut. 5. / If only she could be thin and then it would be okay. Boys would ask her out. You know, out somewhere, where people go. If only boys would ask her out then she would be thin. There would be an excuse to diet, then; she would be going out, people would be there. Looking. A new dress would have to be bought. If only she was going out somewhere then boys would meet her and ask her out and it would be okay. They could compliment her new dress. You know, they would think it looked good because she would be thin and thin people always look good, you know?

• 23 minutes, or less, and some wasted on glitches
  by Arletta

  This was with no model, no photograph, using no masks or filters or alchemy or brushes that pre-made shapes for me. I used a “pencil…

  This was with no model, no photograph, using no masks or filters or alchemy or brushes that pre-made shapes for me. I used a “pencil”, some “oil paint”, a textured splatter “aeorsol can” (and didn’t hurt the environment doing it), and “watercolor”, plus a white background. Nothing more. In steps three and four, especially, things went really bad due to glitches that caused the face to get very messed up and I had to rebuild much of it. Two or three times, I had to rebuild the eyes and lips, just in step four alone. Well, the lips I had to do several more times than the eyes. Step One Step Two Step Three Step Four Step Five There’ll be at least two more steps, and they’ll probably be longer, for, as any good tattoo artiist can tell you, it’s the shading that’s long and painful.

• A quick 5 Q&A with Jianina and PLV! :D
  by Paul Louis Villani

  Randomly I’m going to be selecting a Red Bubbler and giving them a quick 5 Q&A interogation! / The first Red Bubbler to take on this chall…

  Randomly I’m going to be selecting a Red Bubbler and giving them a quick 5 Q&A interogation! / The first Red Bubbler to take on this challenge is Jianina a gorgeous young lady with an amazing talent and appreciation of the written word. / My Favorite Jianina piece is called Deliverence / Ok, with further ado, here we go… :D / / PLV – Name five people who have had an influence on your life (whether it be personal or artistic) and why? / Jianina – Mom (of course)(She keeps me humble and is so pure of heart she is a great inspiration) / My brother (for none stop persistence to do and be great) / Robert Green (Author of some of my favorite books, 33 Strategies of War, 48 Laws of power & The Art of Seduction) / The Living Legends (best underground Hip Hop crew ever THEY ARE my kind of music) / Mrs. Marshall (My high school creative writing teacher, she gave me many ideas and a designated writing time!!) / / PLV – Name five people you would like to have over for a dinner party and why… and also what you would cook for them? / Jianina – Al Gore (I am a global warming freak-GO GREEN) / Alexander the Great (yeah, he’s dead, but he is one fierce ass warrior- great strategies came from his mind) / OoOoHh…Paul Walker (he is so GoOd Looking) ;) / My 3 year old nephew RJ (he is SoOo smart and my goal is to teach him well and expand his maturity he would definitely have a seat at the table) / Sade (She is a timeless singer and has the best music) / As for what I would cook for them? It would definitely have to be my famous baked tri-tip with a “special” marinade, sided with my bomb ass potato salad, seared caramelized carrots, and butter baked garlic green beans. / / PLV – Name five songs that changed your world… (if not songs then bands or singers)? / Jianina – Moments In Love (By the Art of Noise-gotta check it out) / The whole soundtrack to Requiem of a Dream (Now that is some crazy shit, but very tight) / Living Legends “Classic” album (especially the track After I‘m Gone-dope!!) / Closer (By Goapele) / The whole self named LP Album of a local band called “Who Cares” (Seriously—their tight!!!!!!) / There is more where that came from! / / PLV – Describe yourself in five words… / Jianina – Graceful, assertive, patient, wise & youthful / / PLV – List 5 things about you that we would have never guessed!! / Jianina – Well I really shouldn’t say,Hahaha! Just kidding! / I remember practically nothing from before I was nine. / I dance everyday in front of my mirror when no one is home. / I am on my journey to become spiritually enlightened. / I have been collecting books that will make a grand home library (my goal to read each one) / I have never seen The Wizard of Oz or E.T! / / Thanks so much Jianina!! :D

• Karin's Weekly~ISSUE 5~
  by Karin Taylor

  Hello everyone.. Just dropping in to say hi n share.. !http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg188/karinlouisetaylor/bannercardsalesco…

  Hello everyone.. Just dropping in to say hi n share.. / / I sold 6 cards this week and would like very much like to publically thank Blossom for buyin Pearl of the Sea and Meeks for buying Baby Bull Production and Helen Morovic for purchasing Rockpool Therapy just a couple of seconds ago!! and a BIG THX to the others who bought cards from me, who shall remain a mystery! / / I sold one Little Multicolour Teapot TShirt this week to Belinda C and thank your very much BC…i hope you enjoy wearing this one!! / / Wow, i had 5 featured works this week, and didn’t know about it till now…not to mention I somehow had three works featured on the homepage all at once…crazy!! The above works were featured in the following groups and I send out my thank you’s to all the group hosts that so kindly chose my work to be on display this week… 1. Art and Stories Made for Children / 2. Kimono Love / 3. Woman Appreciation / 4. Seachanges / 5. All the Colours of the Rainbow / 1. I had to raise my standards with my Weekly Issue because Steve aka Cimmerian created a pretty spiffy journal today….and not to be outdone, decided i would make some pretty banners….you’re on Steve!!! What will you come up with next??? 2. Been a crazy week.. feeling a bit fluey and tired…. and trying to make some changes that might benefit me… healthwise… so i confiscated the chocolate and it’s in a faraway place…and i promised not to come on red bubble in the day time, and already broke my promise…. the new regime, means exercising in the morning, no more chocolate, no more late nights…..so peoples if you see me hanging around the bubble in the day, BOOT me off.!!! I’m supposed to be painting and doing my domestic goddess stuff!!! I’ll try to get to everything on the bub in the night after dinner instead….when i need less energy, and paint in the day time when i have more energy…sounds good…now to just put that into practice!!!!! 3. I am trying to draw/paint a bum…a floral bum like a bikini bum, but i’m a bit outa practice and had to scrap one, and start again, the next one’s not looking so crash hot either…so i’m gonna just slow it down a little, and take more breaks from RB so i can feel refreshed…. 4. Also…what the heck is going on around here, i can hardly keep up with all the new work etc…is anyone else feeling the same pressure? I love all the new work, but i’m just wondering…i mean, sometimes there’s hardly any work, other times there’s so much i can’t move from my seat for 5 hours…... anyone else? /

• A sale!
  by Judith Oppenheimer

  Thank you Jo for purchasing / ”!http://images-2.redbubble.com/img/art/backingcolor:white/produ…

  Thank you Jo for purchasing / I’m so pleased it brings you pleasure, thank you!

• Five (un) Official RedBubble statistics for March 2008
  by Darren Stones

  It seems the RedBubble caboose has been dragged along nicely by the RB inhabitants during March 2008. It’s come to my attention, via…

  It seems the RedBubble caboose has been dragged along nicely by the RB inhabitants during March 2008. It’s come to my attention, via a large brown envelope delivered by a male courier dressed in a polka dot dress, that there’s five remarkable statistics being secretly spoken about in RB headquarters. They may, or may not, come as a shock to us all. Stats during March 2008 1. Only 56,893 complaints were submitted by RB members under the hate and vilification speech option. This figure is down substantially from 69,696 due to Collingwood Football Club now being involved in active competition for season 2008. 2. 7345 photos of cats were uploaded, and this represents a substantial increase of 69.69% compared to February. Photos of pussy remain popular at RB. 3. RB headquarters staff have consumed 17 large tins of International Boast coffee, 592 packets of Iced Vo Vos and five parts of Justin French’s anatomy. No surprises there. 4. Only 108,274 sincere comments were made on artists’ work. This is a worrying trend. 5. The pace at which new groups are being added to RedBubble continues to concern members. With view counts being a high priority, RB staff are continually being pressured behind the scenes to surpass the 58,329 groups on Flickr. RB staff are currently working feverishly on bronze medals and animated GIF’s as we speak.

• A quick Q&A with PhotogeniquE IPA and PLV! :D
  by Paul Louis Villani

  Every now and again I randomly select a Red Bubbler and give them a quick 5 Q&A interogation! / This weeks Red Bubbler is “PhotogeniquE …

  Every now and again I randomly select a Red Bubbler and give them a quick 5 Q&A interogation! / This weeks Red Bubbler is PhotogeniquE IPA / / / / A bloke who is incredibly talented and has a sense of humour that keeps alot of us regularily entertained! / / Check out his work here / / Ok, enough back slapping… lets get with the lyrical! :D / / PLV – Name five people who have had an influence on your life (whether it be personal or artistic) and why? / / Billy Graham – because he has, through his steadfast belief, preaching and integrity, done more good in the world in the past 80 years than all the politicians and pundits put together. Jesus – I don’t really need to explain do I? Jan (my Wife) – when we first met, in 1967, I was a emotionally crippled young man of 19. She taught me so much about myself, painful at times, and so much about how to relate to other people. Rev H. Brash Bonsell – Principal of the Birmingham Bible Institute, and a man for whom there was no mould. He was a wonderful eccentric, and a man of prayer. Rev Bob Dunnett – Such spiritual wisdom and grace in one person. If I could be half as wise and spiritual as he is, I would be ten times as wise and spiritual as I am / / PLV – Name five people you would like to have over for a dinner party and why… and also what you would cook for them? / / Richard Dawkins, The Atheist. / Polly Toynbee, President of British Humanist Association. / The Pope. / The Archbishop of Canterbury. / and Jesus……. / ......... because I would love to see what they would all say when confronted by Jesus, the person they either revile, dismiss or claim to serve, and more interestingly, what he would say to them. / Food, of course, would be unleavened bread, freshly caught fish cooked over a wood fire on the shore of a lake and red wine! / / PLV – Name five songs that changed your world… (if not songs then bands or singers)? / / w0w, only 5?...........tough! The Times They Are A Changing – Peter Paul and Mary. It was they who really alerted the world to Dylan’s songs, and were the vanguard of 60s protest and they are still singing and protesting in song. Wonderful. It was their music that inspired me to start playing guitar. Music can change the World! I Can’t Explain – The Who. I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I first heard this on the radio; half way out of a loft, perched on a stair bannister! Who rules? The Who Do! Anthem for Doomed Youth – Wilfred Owen – OK, I know it’s a poem, but then what is a song if not a sung poem? Although, “Dulce et Decorum Est” is his most celebrated poem, this is one that first got to me. As relevant in our day of the Iraq conflict, as it was when written over 90 years ago; nothing changes. Coz I Luv You – Slade. Another stop-you-in-your-tracks moment. The best rock band to come out of Wolverhampton. In fact, the only band to come out of Wolverhampton (not true really……) Canto Della Terra – Andrea Bocelli. The first time I heard this was on SKY – Classic FM TV Channel (now sadly defunked) and I just cried listening to it. Still do! Such power, such emotion and what a voice! Turned me on to a genre of music I never thought I would enjoy! / / PLV – Describe yourself in five words! / / Meaty, Beaty, Big And Bouncy…. and Bald (yes, I know, The Who again!!) / / PLV – List 5 things about you that we would have never guessed… / / I can juggle – only 3 balls, but even so……... I once had to make myself redundant from a charity I worked for (long story). I took my son, Joel, sailing when he was about 3 years old and managed to knock him overboard before we even left the pontoon. He had a life-jacket on, of course, and was fine, if somewhat wet! He hasn’t forgotten it though! Ooops! I built my own Low ‘C’ whistle from an old copper water pipe using just a hacksaw, drill and small hammer. Still use it and the tone ain’t half bad. I built a Mirror Dinghy in my bedroom when I was 15. Luckily it was on the ground floor and had large french windows into the back garden. .....and if I may be permitted to add one thing that I’ve learned from my life so far: / / Almost nothing turns out the way you thought it would

• *A young five year old girl needs our help*
  by Joyce Dickens, IPA

  Please go here… / Alice P / Sophie Shapiro is asking our hel…

  Please go here… / Alice P / Sophie Shapiro is asking our help for this young child…... / I am a firm believer in the powers of collective healing energies and love…please add yours for this young child. I thank you all!

• It's finally here....
  by Bill Fonseca

  Ok, some months back I mentioned that I was going to appear on TV (Channel 10) with Totally Wild. Well, the time has come, a little longe…

  Ok, some months back I mentioned that I was going to appear on TV (Channel 10) with Totally Wild. Well, the time has come, a little longer then expected….LOL. So, as promised, I’d inform you all. The segment is called “Top Job: Skate Photographer” On Air Tuesday 5th August 2008 at 4pm, Network 10. For those who missed it on Tuesday afternoon. Here it is already up on youtube. It certainly didn’t take long. LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0dO3OMO9kU Enjoy, / Bill

• 5 View Game
  by Deon de Waal

  With due respect to Cathleen (the originator of this game) I’m also going to jump on the bandwagon and start my own choose five thread. / ...

  With due respect to Cathleen (the originator of this game) I’m also going to jump on the bandwagon and start my own choose five thread. To take part you go through my portfolio and choose your 5 favourite pics out of my shots. / I will then in turn go through your portfolio and choose the five pics of yours that I like best. And the best of all is there is no winner…..... / :)

• One Year Five Hours
  by Faizan Qureshi

  Today, it has been exactly one year and five hours since I joined RedBubble. :) It has been quite a journey… it has changed drastically…

  Today, it has been exactly one year and five hours since I joined RedBubble. :) It has been quite a journey… it has changed drastically since and I’m glad to have been a part of it. Metropolitan was the first piece that I created for this site… it’s still my favourite, thus the t-shirt derived from it that has generated more sales than any other: / ...and within a couple of hours of joining, I created the following and they stayed. Even after many clean-ups in which many images (including my Seven Sins) have gone: Metropolitan Slick City Urban Legends Stepping Stones Birmingham City Wait for a sign Play | Pray Move It! String Time Travels Fast :) Good times!

• Fifty Moderately Comical Answers to Fifty Not so Comical Questions
  by Steven Novak

  I’ve noticed lots of people doing this fifty questions thing around here lately. I also noticed that I was bored, and because of this fac…

  I’ve noticed lots of people doing this fifty questions thing around here lately. I also noticed that I was bored, and because of this fact I decided to mash the two things together like an ooey-gooey peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Don’t get any on your shirt. 1. Do you like blue cheese? / About as much as I like having rocks thrown at me by large groups of angry children who are mad because I won’t get off of the swing and give them a turn. (Not that that’s ever happened to me or anything…I mean, that would be just plain creepy.) 2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? / When I was much younger (and only slightly dumber) my grade school friends and I would pick used cigarette butts off of the ground on the baseball diamond near my house and smoke what was left of them. Needless to say, I was never too anxious to light up as I got older. 3. Do you own a gun? / I do not, no. Unless you count a water-gun? I’m thinking though that the person who wrote these questions didn’t have a water-gun in mind when typing them, so my answer remains no. 4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? / I’ve only been to a Sonic once in my life and as far as I can remember, I didn’t add any flavors to my drink. Unless you count puke, which came after I was done with my burger! POW! I JUST ZINGED YA SONIC! 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? / Depends on what kind of doctor. My general practitioner? No. My gynecologist? Yes. Man, you wouldn’t believe the looks I get when I show up in that office! (That was a weird joke.) 6. Do you like hot-dogs? / No I don’t, so I give them a fresh bowl of water to help them cool down. (That was a lame joke.) 7. Favorite Christmas Song? / I don’t really have one. I cry a lot at Christmas. Okay, no I don’t…I’m just fishing for sympathy. 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? / Mouth-wash. My wife prefers that I drink it too. No kissy-kissy until you squishy-squishy and spitty-spitty. (That was a really strange way to word that joke.) 9. Can you do push-ups? / Maybe…what do you care? Are you saying that I look out of shape? You’re looking at my gut aren’t you? AREN’T YOU!? I WORK BEHIND A DESK!! IT’S HARD TO STAY IN TIP TOP SHAPE!! LAY OFF! 10. What’s your favorite meal? / Pizza. I could eat pizza all day – every day, then go back in time and do it again. I know that sounds like an incredible waste of time traveling ability but it’s the truth. 11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? / I don’t really wear a whole lot of jewelry…out in public anyway. What I do in my private time, in the comfortable safeness of my home is my own business. Mine and Stephanies…Stephanie being me…crap…I’ve said too much. 12. Favorite hobby? / I suppose at this point “art” is no longer a hobby so I can’t really go with that. Darn, for years growing up that was my standard answer to this question, and now I’ve got nothing. Sleep? Does sleep count as a hobby? No? Okay fine! Geez, settle down! It’s not a hobby, fine!! You didn’t have to call me names just because I brought it up!! You were out of line with that…seriously…and bringing my mother into it was just plain wrong. 13. Do you work with people who idolize you? / Um…no. I could lie and say yes, but…um…no. Not at all. Not even a little. In fact pretty much the complete opposite. 14. Name a trait that you hate about yourself? / Too wordy. 16. Middle name? / Carl. It’s my father’s name. Yep a wonderful reminder of painful, failed relationships. Aint’ life grand? 17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment: / How in the world am I going to pay my mortgage this month if I don’t get some more freelance work asap? / Why am I typing a fifty question thing in my Redbubble journal instead of looking for more freelance work that would in turn keep me from being tossed out on the street? / Why was everything in Mr. Wonka’s office cut down the middle? Seriously, what was the purpose? A half of a telephone is pretty useless and a half of a water glass even more so. 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: / The Mona Lisa. King Tuts mummy. Brand and Angelina’s fully furnished Hollywood mansion. (I suppose this completely answers the question as to why I can’t pay my mortgage this month.) 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. / Water, tea, and Mountain Dew. I know, I know, drinking Mountain Dew is the equivalent of drinking battery acid, but I was suckered in by the “Do the Dew” campaign years ago and haven’t been able to get away from it since. DAMN YOU SLICK MARKETING CAMPAIGNS!! YOU GOT ME AGAIN! 20. Current worry right now? / Didn’t I already answer this question? I feel like I did. To answer it again would be pointless and I feel like the three people who might read this deserve better…so suck on that fifty questions! 21. Current hate right now? / How about anything and everything Jonas Brothers? That’s going to be my current hate tomorrow as well…and the day after that…and the day after that. In fact, just put them on the hate calendar for the next few years. 22. Favorite place to be? / In bed with my wife, forcing her to watch scary movies that she hates, and will no doubt give her nightmares. (Man I’m a jerk.) 23. How did you bring in New Years? / I think I was asleep at the time. In fact, I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever really “brought in” anything in my life. Parties and me go together like Bozo the Clown and a George Romero film. (Which is basically not at all.) 24. Favorite place to go? / My bathroom? I dunno. Traveling and me go together like Bozo the Clown and a Georg…sigh…I already made this joke, didn’t I? 25. What is your most recurring dream? / Ever since I was a kid I have had this dream about the town I grew up in getting flooded, and these weird monsters that lived underneath the water eating the survivors, who now lived in small boats and traveled from home to flooded home scavenging whatever they could in order to survive. Hey, that might make a pretty cool movie. 26. Introvert or extrovert? / Believe it or not, the word introvert was created specifically for me. As a kid I was the weird guy in the back of the room who never said a word and you thought might one day become a serial killer. As an adult I am the weird guy in the back of the room who never says a word and somehow, just barely, avoided becoming a serial killer…for now anyway. 27. What color shirt are you wearing? / Black. Like my soul. (Wow…I’m deep. Almost like a real artist?) 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? / I prefer to levitate four inches above my bed while sleeping. Satin sheets are SOOO 1985! 29. Can you whistle? / Yes, but not while I work. (Another terrible joke.) 30. Favorite color(s)? / Wow, fifty questions is really a lot of questions. I mean, When I started this I intended on using it to pass some time before getting to work on more important things, but it feels like I’ve been typing this forever and there is no end in sight. If anyone made it this far in reading let me just say that I pity you, and I’m sorry. So very sorry. 31. Would you be a pirate? / Why do you ask? Are you offering? I didn’t know there were a lot of positions available in the pirating world anymore. I’m not sure I could pull it off. Would the other pirates ever be able to truly respect a crew mate with a metro-sexual faux-hawk? My guess would be no. 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? / Many songs. The entire score of the HMS Pinafore infact. And in case you were wondering tickets are available at Ticketmaster. They’re going quick so get yours right away! 33. Favorite girl’s name? / Rosario. I type this only because I have a bit of a creepy childish crush on Rosario Dawson and it infuriates my wife to no end. (Man, I like giving her nightmares AND I like to annoy her? I need to talk to my therapist about this.) 34. Favorite boy’s name? / Boys name. (I don’t know…I’m running out of jokes. Are there really fifteen of these things left?) 35. What’s in your pocket right now? / Nothing. I am at home in boxer shorts that have no pockets. I could tell you what I have in those but then I would have to call you all a bunch of perverts. 36. Last thing that made you laugh? / My boxer shorts joke. Man I’m funny. You’re a pervert, but I’m funny. 37. Bed sheets as a child? / Huh? What a weird question. Sort of like asking “Clothes as an adult?” or “Food as a human being?” 38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? / When I was in sixth grade I had a bicycle accident, made kissy-face with the pavement, and got over three-hundred stitches in my forehead as a result. I’ve also had a fractured rib, many, many bruises, and more than a few good, deep cuts. That’s right, my skin pretty much looks like Frankenstein’s monster at this point. 39. Do you love where you live? / It’s not too bad. The weather is good. I’ve got no complaints. (Hey, look at that, a legitimate answer to a question that is completely and totally JOKE FREE! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO IT, BUT I DID!) 40. How many TV’s are in your house? / Three. Which is sad because only one of them ever really gets used. Hey, I should sell the other two…might help me out with my mortgage problem from an earlier question. 41. What is your worst habit? / Having to finish each and every thing I start. Want proof? I should have said “forget this gobbeldygook!” about twenty questions ago, but here I am, still typing away, my fingers becoming more and more sore with each passing question. 42. How many dogs do you have? / None. Much more of a cat man. I simply can’t trust an animal that will, on occasion, eat its own feces. 43. Does someone have a crush on you? / Hopefully my wife does, because if she doesn’t then we’re very likely to have marriage problems down the line. (It would be nice if Rosario Dawson had a crush on me though.) 45. What is your favorite book? / Too many to list really. Everything from “Harold and the Purple Crayon” to “Fight Club” to “Watchmen” to “The Time Machine Did It.” (Hey, look at that…another legitimate, serious answer. Two out of forty five questions isn’t bad!) 46. What is your favorite candy? / Jelly Belly’s. I can’t get enough of those stupid things. So many flavors, so many calories, so darn tasty. Aint’ is always the case? 47. What is your favorite sports team? / I don’t really watch a whole lot of team sports. I’m much more of an individual sports sort of guy. In fact, I would almost say that I prefer something like Tennis (even though I don’t really like tennis) to something like Football. (This fact caused me an awful lot of problems growing up.) My favorite sport is most likely MMA. Two guys in a cage, punching each other in the face…it just doesn’t get much better than that, does it? 48. What song do you want played at your funeral? / “1999” by Prince. Hopefully it’ll be sometime around 2050, so hearing that song blaring through the speakers would be about as lame as lame could possibly be…which is exactly how I would describe my life. 49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? / Dreaming about my home town being flooded and monsters dragging people into the murky depths…wait…I already told you this, didn’t I? Hey, wait…this is question 49! ONLY ONE MORE TO GO! WHOO-HOO! I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT!! 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? / Who gives a crap, I’M DONE WITH THIS THING! ALRIGHT! HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND! UP HIGH! DOWN LOW…too slow. (Wow…talk about ending this thing on a lame note. The high five joke? Seriously? Am I still me, or did I just turn into my grandfather?) Steve

• Five Minutes Silence Please... I Swear I Had Nothing To Do With It!!!
  by JenniferB

  NSFW

• Two Weeks on Red Bubble
  by Karin Taylor

  Hi There, I’ve just had my two week anniversary on red bubble! / In case anyone is interested this is my case history so far: I’ve m…

  Hi There, I’ve just had my two week anniversary on red bubble! / In case anyone is interested this is my case history so far: I’ve made heaps of mistakes! / I’ve learnt a helluvalot! / I’ve uploaded 66 of my best images! / I’ve sold 8 cards and 1 tshirt! / I’ve chocked up 5,000 views! / I’ve had my 3 paintings featured! / One on the Art Page! / Two on the Home Page! / I’ve met stacks of fantastic folks on RB! / I’ve become part of a community! / I’m totally knackered and need to get some sleep! / I’ve seen more amazing art from other RB’ers than I’ve ever seen in all the art galleries I’ve ever visited in person! / I’ve approached umpteen galleries and had 1 positive response, hundreds of nothings, and tens of rejections! / I’ve created a pamphlet to advertise myself in a pamphlet drop in my local area! / I’ve created a new business card to include Red Bubble’s addy. / I’ve created a three page order form to snail mail to potentials for wholesale / Yup, all in the last 2 weeks…..not to mention ….I’m a mum with 2 kids, a hubby and a busy lifestyle…....enough said…..haven’t done any painting in two whole weeks!!!!!!! Time to head into the cave….only have 16 more pieces to upload, then I’m back in the studio creating more art…..and you’ll only see me stick my head up from time to time as a new piece comes to life….. Meanwhile, I’ll take the opp to say a huge thanx to everyone here….especially those special few who have been angels to me when I needed help…..and those who’ve gone outa there way with special encouragements….down to those who are so cheerful and funny and just make my day with a big belly laugh…...good on yas all! / Keep up the fantastic art…..and / I’ll see yas all tomoz on RB.. Night, / K :D PS thanks to all the groups i’ve entered my art into, you have been so patient, kind, polite and understanding…..when I have uploaded umpteen too many in one day, etc….I’m just a bit overexcitable sometimes, but I appreciate your tact :D

• SOLD FIVE TEES & PRODUCTIVE DAY
  by webgrrl

  Today started early at 6.45am, after only 3 hours sleep.. First stop was Centerlink to start my Work Agreement thang.. yah i gotta be act…

  Today started early at 6.45am, after only 3 hours sleep.. First stop was Centerlink to start my Work Agreement thang.. yah i gotta be actively be lookin for work, now that my youngest is 14yo.. meaning the put forms in, every fortnite.. :S So anyways, treked there.. brought some RedBubble cards of mine, and other paraphernalia to show them what my skills are and what i wanted to do.. My own business.. She said i was talented, and should try and makes me an appointment at 2pm in Tecoma to go fill out more forms for my job network number etc.. After Centerlink, i goes straight to Hungry Jacks, cuz ive been hangin for one for about a year now..haha! Had a Whopper (no cheese unfortunately, cuz ive worked out im dairy intolerant) and got a swap of Orange Juice instead of Coke/soft drinks. I was happy :) Next went into Knox (shopping centre) and picked up school shoes for my youngest, then went into Kmart to see if i could find something to put all the cards from RB, so that i can show others (to sell) without dropping them all over the place (my presentations gotta be as premium as the cards right? hehehe) / Not much around to find.. looked thru the scrapbooking area, thinkin might find something there.. did sort of..but it was all too pink and girly for me… So went to the music/photo section of Kmart.. and looked at the albums.. But most of em, are for standard sized photos.. and as usual nuthing on the shelfs were in its place..or priced.. errr.. Found two different covered albums that took the ‘larger size’, grabbed the RB card in my bag.. to see if it fits..,,. Perfect. Walks to the price checker scanner thang….. and make it go beep! Price is $6! and holds 200 each album :) Bargain! I buy two :P On the way to the checkout i spots the latest Harry Potter book… and they have 10% off, so i grabs it for the kids. Caught the bus back to Ferntree Gully, walks up the hill and gets home.. Think about loggin into RB, but looks at time, and decides to get all the Identification and all proof of ID sorted out for my 2pm appointment at the job network thang.. At 1.30 i head back out again, walk down the hill.. to the train station this time and got there nice.. with just 1min to wait, and train arrives on time. It was a beautifull day to be walking around.. Spring is here :) At the Job Network place, i fill out forms and then was expecting to have someone sit with me to somewhat ask me (or even care) if i needed career guidance etc.., but nope, that was it… fill the forms and start lookin for work. I ask them about courses and it needed 3 different people to tell me that theres no grant/courses available in ‘my situation’ other than the numeracy & litracy, write resume, type of course! I says to them, “I can design you a fully functional operating LIVE website and all promotional flyers to promote it, in 24hours, i dont think im suited for the cpurse they suggest. And a fourth person to finally to confirmed that Yes, there is a Work SKills grant of $3000 available to certain people (which i qualify). I realised that i wasnt going to get the help, motivation and support i hoped i would get.. On the way back to Ferntree Gully i got chatting to this girl from Emerald at the train station in Tecoma, and i ended up giving her one of the Ferntree Gully Skyscape cards promo flyer, and she asked if she could have a few more to give her friends :) I get back home just after 3pm, and finally i boot up my computer, then got distracted by the kids, wasnt till about 2hours later.. .and im doin stuff, and i realise that i hadnt logged into RB yet…... I logs in…and then i said OMG!! OOhhWAAH! It says ive made FIVE t-shirt sales, in one hit! From the same person i gather.. and someone in Euro region. BIG THANK YOU, if you reading this, whoever you are! You the cherry in my sundae today ;) and oh by the way… SunGoddess wasnt one of the five sold! Woot! hehehe.. but its the debut sale for Sunshine Girl! well that was my day… How was yours? :)X

• It's arrived!!
  by Kitsmumma

  My gorgeous new vintage Argoflex Seventy-five is here and now I’m freaking out because it’s harder than it looks….........................

  My gorgeous new vintage Argoflex Seventy-five is here and now I’m freaking out because it’s harder than it looks…...............................................stay tuned!

• Request for Assistance - The Other Nine to Five
  by Michael Alesich

  To all interested parties, I am looking to do a series of…

  To all interested parties, I am looking to do a series of photos and possibly written pieces, based on the theme “The Other Nine to Five : Jobs over Nightime” and am looking to take photos, most likely black and white, to show the convey the jobs in specific visual pieces. What I am looking for, and who I’m looking for are people who work in roles outside of the standard hours. if you’re hours extend to midnight or you start work at 4 am I would be interested in taking shots at that time while you work. I know it is not going to always be possible with workplace limitations, but if you are happy to be a subject I will gladly travel around Melbourne at various hours of the night and week to accomodate your time. I am located in Melbourne and I have the offer of assistance from these people for either Photography or Writing: / As well as offers from these people for settings and jobs to photograph: / The end outcome of this is hopefully going to be in an exhibition, / I am also looking to have written pieces along with the images to say a part of the story. Any comments and offers of help will be greatly appreciated.

• Inner West Courier Tuesday May 6, 2008
  by Bill Fonseca

  I’ve been published….!! Those who might be interested, can view a photo and small article in this weeks Inner West Courier which cam…

  I’ve been published….!! Those who might be interested, can view a photo and small article in this weeks Inner West Courier which came out today (6th May, 2008). By the looks of things I made page 3. Click the link below and page through the paper…. / Inner West Courier The Courier gets distributed to: Abbotsford, Annandale, Ashfield, Balmain, Birchgrove, Burwood, Cabarita, Camperdown, Campsie, Canada Bay, Chiswick, Concord, Concord West Croydon, Croydon Park, Dobroyd Point, Drummoyne, Dulwich Hill, Enfield, Enmore, Erskineville, Five Dock, Glebe, Haberfield, Homebush, Leichhardt, Lewisham, Lilyfield, Marrickville, Newtown, North Strathfield, Petersham, Rodd Point, Rozelle, Russell Lea, Stanmore, Strathfield, St Peters, Summer Hill, Sydenham and Tempe.

• Five More!
  by Maria Dryfhout

  Just sold 5 more cards… Two of these… / !http://images-1.redbubble.net/img/art/backingcolor:white/product:greeting-card/view:previe…

  Just sold 5 more cards… Two of these… / Three of these… / I have no idea who purchased these cards, but I thank you so much.

• 35000 views
  by Matt Sillence

  Just realised that I have hit another mile stone…. Thank u all for looking, fav’ing and commenting on my work, Thank you for all the e…

  Just realised that I have hit another mile stone…. Thank u all for looking, fav’ing and commenting on my work, Thank you for all the encouragement from all at Redbubble… / Matt

• Eliminated Five Pages
  by Joyce Dickens, IPA

  Hi everyone, Over the weekend I elimanated five pages of images….those were the least viewed, favorited, no sales, etc….......will pr…

  Hi everyone, Over the weekend I elimanated five pages of images….those were the least viewed, favorited, no sales, etc….......will probably do more elimations toward the end of October….....Please don’t be offended if you had commented or favorited any of those images. You all must know by now how much I value each and every one of you and your awesome support of my work; the elimations will only make it easier to move around in my gallery…........Thank you all; Redbubble ROCKS!!!

• Just sold...
  by robert murray

  I just sold five cards and would like to thank the buyer very much you have made my night!

  I just sold five cards and would like to thank the buyer very much you have made my night!