what is not is but is the whole of the interfissimal a space of nothiningness that is my mothers breasts from which milk poured and dady …
what is not is but is the whole of the interfissimal a space of nothiningness that is my mothers breasts from which milk poured and dady called nice tits get me a beer, oh how lonley it was in queenstown, waft, willows, wind, rain and my daddys cock in my eye forever the day, forever the past he went down my hole digging for gold and never came back my mummy cried the next day she died oh waft in your infrequent sublime eye, i puss and walked to the orange river for which i gave my heart to the vicar as an alter boy at sunday mass forever my dad a pound a pound on my way to true enlightenment.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Wow, how profound, whoever came up with that one was well on their way to enlightenment …
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Wow, how profound, whoever came up with that one was well on their way to enlightenment and a front row seat in Nirvana. I wonder what its like, you know, in Nirvana, wonder if they play any Nirvana there. Wouldn’t that be great, just floating around being at peace with everything, feeling the love ‘n’ stuff, all the while getting down to Smells like teen Spirit or Come as you are. Do you rekin thats where Kurt ended up, I mean he may not have had the enlightenment thing down pat but you’d think having named a band after the joint….well, that’d have to be worth something. Imagine that Kurt mixing with the Buddha, the Big Bad Buddah. Backed by an ensemble of chanting preists tapping their toe bells and making mandalas. But hey,listen to me,talkin about Nirvana like its a place, I mean we all now its a state of being, right. A mode of conciousness ,only reached once one lets to let go, once one becomes selfless….right? I don’t know what it is really, I just hope that if I ever reach it I can come as I am and can suck in the the spirit!.
At least once a day / I try to close my eyes / And feel myself connecting / To that void / No space, no time / I like to linger there / Because…
At least once a day / I try to close my eyes / And feel myself connecting / To that void / No space, no time / I like to linger there / Because my mind is clearer / Possibility / Of / Enlightenment / Always feel much nearer
Friends are there but wont stair you in the eyes when you are wrong. For the best to be apart of what you got. Lot more to know if I cou…
Friends are there but wont stair you in the eyes when you are wrong. For the best to be apart of what you got. Lot more to know if I could figure out what I no now. More time thinks and more things cant be alone, struggle thoughts of hardness instead of a resolute. I thought I taught myself to prepare to be me in a different time. I’ve seen the resolute of my constant act to do what feels right, cant be real if I deal with a fake society, whit lies I cant see and reason to just let it be and more cry’s of why we struggle with crude ruble. Make your own bed cus instead of suffering I’d rather be in a tamer place. Tougher times will fill my mind and let me forget about her. Where we where was only what I thought and where I was, never went above the time, only to keep my mind on the inner streets of a holy feeling now you can get a better understanding of; got to go throw hell to get to heaven cuss her letter to approach of a shore to find her at her local convince store where we probley meat before in another life where I new her. Now times spent is just the same cuss I, I am still the same.
Thank You Living Christianity Group For Featuring Enlightened Version 2 And For All Your Kindness and Support Super Hugs and Blessings …
Thank You Living Christianity Group For Featuring Enlightened Version 2 And For All Your Kindness and Support Super Hugs and Blessings me and shree too / Super Blessings and Thanks Amber Elizabeth Fromm Donais with Huge Smiles
Firstly, let me introduce myself. I am a 56 year young woman who lives purely by the experiences that I bring into this life, and likes …
Firstly, let me introduce myself. I am a 56 year young woman who lives purely by the experiences that I bring into this life, and likes to write about what I not only observe but also learn from those experiences in writings such as this one. I have been through some amazingly wonderful experiences and I have been through some hellish ones and as such I have learnt a lot by those experiences. I know depression only too well as well as how feeling, or being, alone can brings ‘things’ to the surface of consciousness. And thanks to God, I know the meaning of understanding Love, not only towards others but also towards my self in the form of self-respect and as a result of that, self-esteem. My ‘insight’ into depression has stemmed from many things in my life. The ‘enforced’ feelings of abandonment as a child which were suppressed and which later surfaced at a time those feelings were meant too. The ‘enforced’ feelings of being violently threatened by a husband who had a penchant for living with a fireman’s axe under our bed for 22 months and telling me he could chop me up into pieces and get away with it with the use of a certain British Law in force at that time and who also brought a gun into our apartment when living in the USA trying to use the same force to gain manipulation and control over me along with the same excuse of being able to get away with it under the same Law which was also in force in America. Along with that also came the ‘enforced’ feelings of betrayal I felt by that loved ones use of adultery, alcoholism and drug abuse both self-inflicted drug abuse, in his case, anything that got him away from his believed problems and psychiatric drugs given to him by doctors & psychiatrists. I did leave him a number of times. I am not a complete idiot but I also forgave him as many times realising his tactics where games of manipulation bought on by his own problems of which he alone has still yet to face. His main problem was that he was a spoilt child. Not spoilt in the meaning of being given whatever he wanted as a child but spoilt in the fact that both his folks worked not that his mother had to but because she liked the social aspect of working. She didn’t want the responsibility of being a mother even though she wanted children. That decision made him feel abandoned as a child, made him feel unloved, made him feel unnoticed and due to the lack of parental guidance gave him no lessons in self-discipline. Spare the rod and spoil the child. An old biblical saying that I believe a lot take as meaning: spoil the child; buy them anything they want, take them anywhere they want, let them do anything they want. To me, it doesn’t mean that at all. To me, that saying means if you spare the rod (discipline – as it means in theological language; not a stick to hit them with) then you do spoil (mar) the child, as you don’t teach them with guidance using self-discipline as the lesson thereby spoiling their chance of having a good life with understanding the benefits of self-discipline. I say ‘enforced’ feelings about the above incidences as, to me, they seemed to be the feelings others were trying to inflict upon me and indeed did at some points of my life when I was led into a very confusing period for 28 years living with an alcoholic adulterer who I loved dearly and don’t to this day regret knowing as I did certainly learn a lot from that wonderful character. I had a lot of experiences with my now ex-husband including the possibility that I have children with him. I say the possibility as it is a situation that included surrogate mothers to carry my fertilised eggs to birth upon which he then had full control over the children. I have never met them but I have been advised that they exist on many occasions when my ex-husband wanted total control over a situation. He use to say something about these “supposed children” but then later he would deny saying anything at all about them telling me I was mad for even thinking there were any children. Regardless of the fact he rang my father from the USA, where he was apparently at that stage living during a hiatus in our relationship, approximately10months after I had an operation where they used an IVF egg pick-up instrument during the operation, and advised my father that he had just become the father of a daughter. My father rang me straight away to tell me about the call he had received from Los Angeles advising me what was said during their conversation and telling me that it was about time I found out what was going on in my life and then promptly hung up on me. It seems neither of them wanted to actually tell me. I had noticed the instruments sitting on the tray that was wheeled over beside me before the anaesthetist administered the drug to put me under. And, I was also shown a photograph of a young pregnant woman who my husband told me had carried his baby. Of course, he has denied telling me anything of the sort and denied showing me the photograph of the young woman adding that I am mad to think anything like that had gone on but of course, when he is drunk I hear the stories of it all over again including a time when we got back together again in Sydney and were sitting in a coffee shop talking about reconciliation for about the eighth time and he asked me how I would feel about being the mother to, at that stage, two young children of which he was the biological father. When I asked where their mother was he advised me they had surrogate mothers. My husband had a saying that he use to say to me often which was ‘with enough money you can buy anyone or anything’. As far as I knew he was not that rich since I was the one working to pay for our living costs whenever we were together so this was another mystery to me about this stranger that I had allowed myself to marry as I wondered where he got the money from to pay the surrogate mothers of these two small children. Of course a few months later when we had reconciliated the children never materialised and he as usual denied ever saying anything of the sort. Yes, he tried to be a complete dominator using manipulation tactics over me. However, I am not that easy to dominate or manipulate being that I was born believing to be an individual with independence although retaining the knowledge that we are all interdependent and I have been that way all of my life. I also had a good teacher. My mother was also a dominator who tired to use manipulative tactics from which I took very good observance of watching her tricks to try to dominate others. I personally ignored my mother when she tried to dominate me on the advice of my father which of course would annoy her but that was not my problem. My mother had the problem, as I believe it is truly wrong to try to have domination over another for any reason whatsoever. And to also use the force of manipulation for domination is nothing short of mental illness. After all, God gave everyone freedom of choice. I will say that I went through a heck of a lot of confusion with my ex-husband. Oh and let’s not forget the violent rape I endured as a 16 year old virgin along with being sacked from 5 different jobs in the business world over a period of years including one time when I was in hospital and during a hiatus between operations laying in my hospital bed when the news of that sacking took place. Must not forget the 11 operations I have had to endure mainly of ‘woman’s’ problems no doubt created by the rape from the age of 18 up and through the use of the Copper 7 IUD contraceptive device all of which rendered my memories in a haze for 11 years which is why I now prefer to stick to my own path in life without doctors and operations and continue with my art instead of working for a business corporation. And to top it of, the death of both my parents followed a brother who stated to me after our mother’s death that he never wanted a sister, never considered he had ever had one and did not want one now although I already knew that due to his treatment of me all throughout my young life as his sister but that’s his problem as I have never said I didn’t want a brother, so I still send him cards on special occasions. The above are some of the experiences I have had to endure in my life and through those experiences I have learnt a lot about the state of depression but through it all I have never allowed myself to fall into such weakness of character that I allowed myself to become a victim to anti-depressant drugs or any other substance that was not natural to the physical body and good mental health. I dealt with the pain of it all my own way and with the help of my strong faith and belief in God. And, from what I had gone through in many different ways I had every right to suffer the inflictions of both deep depression and confusion and I learnt a lot from those experiences. What I have learnt may help to turn a lot of people around in their view of life. I can only hope and pray for that to be as a helping hand to my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. God said to Lot’s wife “Do not look back or you shall surely turn to a pillar of salt and blow away”. There is a very good message in that statement for people to learn. The message pertains to depression. You see, when Lot’s wife looked back she cried at leaving her past behind and died from her heartbreak. The ‘pillar of salt’ means the tears we cry and to ‘blow away’ means to die as in we don’t stay in the present moment and even though it means that a ‘change’ of life is on the horizon that may create ‘fear’ in some people so they don’t want to change. The truth is if we don’t go with the ‘change’ we lose our way on the pathway of life and that helps to result in more depression. I have every reason for a deep great depression but I no longer allow myself the pity party. When we reflect back on the ‘bad things’ that have happened in our life along our pathway to the now, where we are in life at the present time, we can fall into a ‘depressive state’. Some people sit and stare into nowhere, some cry at lot. I was more of a crier until I realised all I was doing by crying was creating wrinkles and sometimes hyperventilating which was frightening in itself so I stopped crying and started learning from the experiences that I had gone through in my life. I started asking God why, what was I to learn from those experiences but I didn’t ask out loud while kneeling I quietly asked from within myself and connected to that higher energy force from my heart with great yearning to know why I had been subjected to such a mess of a life. What I learnt was that a lot of control dramas happen to people and that we are not always aware of them. For example: parents who have criticized, intimidated, interrogated or whatever and made their child feel ‘aloof’ and as a result the child has cut themselves off from other people due to feeling they may get criticized or interrogated for their actions or words by others, or when they look back at life at what so far has happened in their life the ‘poor me’ syndrome gets acted out. The ‘oh, why did it happen to me’ or ‘if only my mother/father had treated me better’ types. At the time of such things being said or done the child doesn’t necessarily think that but the memories of those actions, those words, get lodged into the child’s sub-conscious memory and comes to the surface later in life where the ego takes it on and starts to eat away at the now adult due to the child within that is still feeling hurt by those past actions of treatment. Oh I’ve been there and done that too but I didn’t get any answers from the ‘oh, why did it happen to me’ scenarios. It wasn’t until I stopped feeling sorry for myself that the answers started to come and by then I was strong enough without falling to pieces and wise enough to sit quietly and listen without judgement or trying to fight for my own opinion of the whys and wherefores. I learnt to listen silently and learnt in the interim of doing so the meaning of the saying: silence is golden, as it certainly is when the answers come with reasoning and understanding – enlightenment. Depression is a form of keeping oneself de-pressed. Keeping oneself ‘down’ as one may have a ‘fear’ about moving out of their comfort zone of which is all they have known in their life no matter how bad those past experiences may have been. Unfortunately by keeping themselves ‘down’ people don’t evolve as they get stuck in a rut of what becomes their nothingness. Their own living hell where it all just keeps going around and around until they learn they have to let it all go and forgive and forget and move on along their pathway of life as they don’t need to keep living the nightmare that they have set up for themselves through their own self-indulgent mourning for their past. Or, they can keep sitting in their memories of past wrongs and keep the depression festering away at themselves, which is what the ego loves to do as it then has control over the person instead of the person having control over it. Yes, that old devil within, the ego gets us into more trouble then we bother to even realise. Forgiving and forgetting is needed to get over blocks in life. We also have to learn to ask for guidance of what we were to learn from those experiences. It is a new step to getting to know one’s self and connecting to a greater force from within – the greater divine spirit of life. Meditation in a park like setting is a good place to start as nature exchanges energy with / humans. It is a source of a far stronger divine universal energy and helps to lift people’s spirit to where they should be in life. Meditation also teaches people to connect to their inner spirit for guidance as we all have the answers for ourself within ourself. Control dramas are something that was set up within people eons ago when societies started losing their connection to God’s nature and started thinking more from human’s ego instead. / Maybe it was a necessary function that enabled this world to progress to this point in time to become the technological age that it has but over use of such control dramas have now become forms of mental illness as one sets themselves against another and loses their own direction of self and their sense of being for it must never be forgotten that God gave everyone freedom of choice and without that freedom of choice the soul mourns and the spirit depletes. Depression is sparked from control dramas. Some parents use control dramas on their children as a form of energy exchange and children do the same back to their parents in other ways of control for their quota of energy. This system then sets up a depressed state in a child as they feel misunderstood or ‘out of tune’ with their parents or peers. They may also feel that they don’t belong not only with these parents but also in this world. And, the parents get annoyed then depressed for getting annoyed because the child won’t play the game of being controlled so patterns are then set up within the household that create animosities which over time everyone feels guilty for and hides their feelings from each other. All feelings of such should be discussed; aired out and forgiven otherwise no-one member can move on without feelings of guilt, sadness and eventually depression. Over time of course it will slowly be forgotten, particularly by children but the memory will still sit within the sub-conscious until the day the ego decides it needs to be paid attention and it will bring the memory back to the surface where once again depression will become the game of the day for the ego to get its desired attention. This tactic of the ego is what keeps people down and from reaching their potential goals with any great happiness or bliss. They are doing it to themselves for allowing themselves to continue harbouring the feelings of past hurts be that rejection, words said in anger or any other action that was taken against them for whatever reason. They are still the ones allowing themselves to dwell on those past actions. Children are a lot closer to the divine energy of God than their parents who through time have moved further away chasing their adult pursuits, and as such feel lost and get depressed too but adults really need to ask themselves: do they really need more in the way of material possessions. Do they really need more in the way of domination over another which is just keeping that form of mental illness occurring in society creating more animosity of one against the other. The spirit within each and everyone doesn’t need to be dominated. It knows more than the ego of each and everyone will ever know. It is the key to enlightenment and the teacher of knowledge that is not even in educational books and it is freely within each and everyone who is having a physical experience upon this earth – if they want to connect to it from within their own heart and through their desire to be free of self-inflictions. What I learnt more than anything from all the horrendous experiences I have gone through in / my life is that no one else lives my life. Only I do. No one else makes me do anything. Only I give myself permission to do whatever I choose to do and as such I have no right to blame anyone for what has happened to me in my life, I only have myself to blame for allowing myself to have those experiences in the first instance. I chose to be with my ex-husband. No one forced to be with him. I chose to go to the beach where I got raped instead of to work. No one made me go. I allowed myself to be convinced by the doctor that a Copper 7 IUD was the best contraceptive way for me to go. I could of said no. I chose to take up smoking. No one made me take it up. I chose all my experiences so therefore I cannot blame another but myself and once I realised that truth then I also chose to stop allowing myself to be depressed by forgiving myself and then allowing myself to stop looking back and just get on with life as it is now, not yesterday, the past which has been and gone, history that can never be changed but the present moment in which I breath and therefore live. And I thank God for allowing me to see that I chose to be a victim of my own making just like everybody else with depression chooses that for themselves too. It has always been your own choice just as it can be your own choice to let go of your depression, anxiety or any other self-induced infliction and start living the life you have been reaching for but are keeping from your own grip. And, as the old saying goes: God helps those that help themselves. And that I can testify is true. © C J Lewis, 2008 Here are some interesting, and enlightening, videos for those interested in watching the way psychiatrists have been pushing drugs upon people suffering from depression. I chose not to fall into the trap of such temptation, as I didn’t feel my depression was caused by chemical imbalances in the brain or whatever other excuse they throw at you. I believe if you are in tune with your body then you will know from within yourself if you have a chemical imbalance. I knew my depression was caused from my experiences. I had kept diaries for some years that allowed me to view back with truth those experiences as written down. Too many people grab the drugs and then wonder why they aren’t feeling any better but instead are feeling worse. These videos are quite an eye-opener. A BIG THANK YOU to my friend blamo for supplying the link to the videos…for what they expose is something I believe, everyone should know about. / /
up loaded a bigger images so now / japanese garden is available …
up loaded a bigger images so now / japanese garden is available for sale Acrylic on canvas 50×70 cm original is available if your interested please contact me Available for sale as Greeting Cards, Matted Prints, Laminated Prints, Mounted Prints, Canvas Prints and Framed Prints
THANKYOU FOR FEATURING MY PAINTING… I am honoured : ) BUDDHA MOON !http://images-2.redbubble.net/img/art/size:ularge/view:...
THANKYOU FOR FEATURING MY PAINTING… I am honoured : ) BUDDHA MOON
Hi Peeps, Some of you have inquired about the Transpersonal Art Therapy Diploma I am about to complete. They are opening up a camp…
Hi Peeps, Some of you have inquired about the Transpersonal Art Therapy Diploma I am about to complete. They are opening up a campus in Brisbane, so if you are interested – here’s the link For those in South Australia and Victoria – here’s the link (same courses but more interesting website) (http://ikoninstitute.com/index.php?content_id=2) I highly recommend this! Thanks, / Carmen
“Paying Tribute” was voted challenge winner with 3 votes in the group challenge, “Enlightened Horizons” in the group *“ABSTRACT DIGITAL…
“Paying Tribute” was voted challenge winner with 3 votes in the group challenge, “Enlightened Horizons” in the group “ABSTRACT DIGITAL ART AND WRITING” !! A special Thankyou to the group voters for voting on my entry and to all those who have viewed and/or commented on my work. THANKYOU!!” Congratulations to the Top-Ten featured artists in the group as well!!
’ *Angel ” is an interesting evocative brand new Image with some background on Angels and their purpose etc.. please stop over view it en…
’ Angel ” is an interesting evocative brand new Image with some background on Angels and their purpose etc.. please stop over view it enlarged & read and leave your thoughtful comments, Rick
I would like to thank everyone for your support and encouragement / over these past few months… I have only been a member since / October…
I would like to thank everyone for your support and encouragement / over these past few months… I have only been a member since / October 2009… You have shown me great warmth and helped me / feel at home here at redbubble… / Enjoy your Holidays and have an elightened New Year 2010… Thomas J. Norbeck USA
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