Oils, 90×65 cms. / Might have been my first ever oil painting. I can’t remember. I was drunk then! / I started doing TAFE because after more than 2 years I had not passed more than 4 subjects at university (for those not from Australia, it’s a kind of low level public college. Though the chances of learning something USEFUL sure as hell seem to me to hbe higher than going to university and doing an ART DEGREE. Ok… I will amend that to “arts” degree. Most of the time.) / And I had also of course been fired from so, so SO many jobs. I started painting, you see, as an excuse not to write. So that I could be doing something, anything, anything at all, whilst I starved and drank and raved and died. / I was somewhat surprised to find out how well people reacted to what I did. I hadn’t even done art in years 11 and 12. / This is one of the only still life thingies that I ever painted. I am more interested in people… like Plato said: “To mankind mankind is holy.” I still don’t really know what the clay pot with the stopper in it is supposed to be for. Some kind of honey-based sauce, thick and sweet?
oils on canvas I am an alcoholic. i haven’t had a drink for nine years. i am not really 29 like it says on my profile, i am 35. i only LOOK 29. less. 23 or so. i don’t know why. i haven’t aged. i still get asked for id. this little story is very dark and has BAD SWEARY WORDS. please heed the warning and don’t get upset by linguistic semantic vernacular. (Fill the clubhouse with blood and the halls with bone.) Smells like rotting seaweed but sweet and tart in my throat. Glad I never lived there I mean it’s hard enough to survive a conversation with someone I don’t know let alone someone who’s got my whole life history on the tip of their brain. Walk into the shop my god I know this girl I remember her face half-blurred in warm brown spirits but beautiful still. Too late to walk out now she’s seen me pretend I’m looking at something, great walk right into the porn magazines mind seething in suggestion but turn around right quick before I follow that path. / Buy my cigarettes without looking at her of course I have to can’t help it and see myself reflected in her eyes contempt so huge it’s making her head bulge. / Get out fast blood draining from my face fuck it forgot my change she calls out and I have to go back (go back! Go back!) I think she sees the broken capillaries and swell of cheek hair sticking out in tufts and then I’m through the fucking door. / Hot concrete under my feet chewing gum cigarette butts smells like gum trees and gravel. Slide down the brick wall scraping my back hard to get the cigarettes out in the morning though of course it’s nearly afternoon. Tastes like burned rubber but I need it that’s for sure hacking for a little while and feeling every poisoned nerve. / Sitting there with my head in my hands have to just now can’t hold it up. Looking through my eyelids red like the rest of the colours inside my heart booming at odd intervals and making me flinch feel the blood surge, fall, wait, surge, fall, wait wait wait surge. / You can take your hands away from your face you can you can. But it’s okay faded back into my body a dry leaf into water and I sit and actually do take my hands away from my face. / Getting up never surprises me any more I’m used to how this meat functions now and I’m off hiding deeply behind hair and sunglasses hunched and hunched into my shirt like an old man gotta get my shit together for once so hungry I can feel my ribs through my shirt, through my skin so easily trace each one outlined in tight thin flesh. / Seems so long but I know that its not hate walking fucking four letter word walk feet hurt but no more than the rest of me. / Home and walking up the driveway fast feet focused so hard have to slow down fucking heart playing up again boom and twist inside my chest like a truck backfiring but fleshy and thick. Gets me that the noise is so deep in my ears when there’s no room for resonance in me, still. / Open the door paranoid cow locked it gotta get the keys out not so hard now that my jeans are only held up by my belt feel it hard against my hips fish the keys out hot from close to my skin heated alcohol fever must be burning so much energy no idea where it’s coming from can’t be much left. / Through the door and cool darkness. / Make the few last steps relief strong and sweet that I make it home again though I know it’ll be hours before I feel connected to my limbs by more than flesh. I can smell carpet wet and old beer oh god there’s still some left I know there is think yeah pretty sure I passed out before I could get my fast little hands to the back of the carton cardboard already soggy guitar pick stuck in the top like a feather. NOT that way not yet though the sensation of want floods me to the tendons. / Craving takes over and turns my hands into claws and my head into a fucking funnel. I have to hang over the sink fingers doing that compulsive dance twitch lurches across my face like a wire hook. / Through it and upright wiping that sweet sweaty face glazed inward and I walk past the fridge like I’m not being stalked by something cold and perfect inside and out. / Upstairs as desire retreats though my mouth still waters so that I’m actually drooling. / And this is the time huh? Morning, is it? Smell something apart from breath and hitch my pants up. Push the door open and there she is, curled up and stinking just like me I always check to see that there’s still life in those lips when sleep or unconsciousness takes the pretence away for a while. Sure I know they’re cracked and she moves and wasn’t sleeping anyway. / “Hi honey I am home.” / I sit without staggering and she grimaces and pushes the hair from her face. “I have cigarettes. I have nausea. I have disquiet.” / The room is so unreal it’s got sunlight pouring in all over the clothes on the floor. There’s broken glass in the bed. It is glittering. Stuff still glitters. / “Mmm.” She pulls one from the proffered pack like it’s a small dangerous animal and I thank Christ one more time that I am not alone in this but have abject company in my abject immolation. Her face is swollen too and I can see the marks on her arms where she scratches her skin in her sleep. They match the scars, offset the sheets. “I have,” she lights it with a match that sputters sulphur (such appropriation) “no sympathy.” She retches, coughs. Her fingers turn white on the grey-yellow bed-sheets. She takes another drag. / I can hear kids playing outside. Kids. Playing. / “You passed out on the floor last night with your arm in the spilled puddle of wine. You still had your drink in your hand. But it’s ok. I rescued it.” She hacks out a cough and I realise that the shakes have started again for the day and my upper lip is twitching twitch twitch twich so fucking helpless can’t even control my own movements so what Paul so what. / She sits up and I can see the faintness wash through her and hurt her and her cigarette extrapolates the tremors that have her the delirium tremens. / “David turned up last night. He told me you had called my Mum and told her she was a cunt. Did you do that Paul?” / She looks at me for a second with her big dark once perfect eyes rimmed in red puffed and poisoned like me with me like me. Cutting arc of guilt whips through me did I did I? as the marionette Paul in blackout; the betrayer the monster the liar the drunk. / “Maybe.” / She was a nice lady she was nice she hated me now but when we moved in when it started she did the washing for us one time I think the puke on Sarah’s sleeve or maybe the cum stains she didn’t offer again nice lady perm and a four wheel drive and ironed sleeves and nice shoes. “I don’t know.” / “When was the last time we had sex? The last time you could? You don’t know that either huh? DO YOU?” She says the words in a monotone scraping, no acrimony it is everywhere for us anyway. / “I fucked David on the couch. At one point I looked down and he had his foot on you. I screamed like a banshee when I came. / “You didn’t wake up.” / She takes another drag and holds out the cigarette. / I reach and take and breathe it in and I am not here I am not. / I put it out on my cheek. Slowly. / It hurts. / “Yeah.” She says, and she is crying. “Yeah, Paul. That’s great.” / She puts her hand on mine. / “You stupid, stupid man… you stupid… you broken…” / She takes something like a breath. / “You cripple.” / She cups my chin. She is crying. She is crying.
Oil pastels on black A3 paper. / used a reference photo a wonderful friend took of me. thank you so much for that. / Classical style isn’t it. I’m enjoying oil pastels at the moment. I’m looking into blending techniques mostly. And yay! foreshortening! A lil. A girl full of hate falls in love too easily for her own good. kicking and screaming into paradise just to burn it down in an attempt to keep warm by a fire. she can hold back the tears but she can’t stop causing them. Oh how it hurts, more than ripping slowly at her own flesh, unstoppable by the numbing vodka that burns it’s way down her throat, keep swallowing, don’t breathe, maybe you’ll choke on it you stupid girl.
AH! I almost forgot that I was gonna put this one up now that I’m happy with it! / Aim- To construct a suite of similarly sized panels upon which a range of materials and approaches will be engaged to realize a set of predetermined results. / Process- Prepare a set of 9 panels sized approx. A4. Select a common colour that will be used as a basis of experimental surfaces on the panels. Each of the 9 panels should be approached with a different one of the following set of enteritises: / (reading the panels like a book, left to right, top to bottom) / 1.Essentially disrupted- Here, the term ‘essential’ refers to the connection between substance and effect. e.g. the word ‘Burnt’ burnt into the panel. / 2. Lyrical disruption- Using a series of organic or curvilinear marks and/or compositional elements, imply an irregular or unstable surface without the use of straight lines. / 3. Glazed surface- prepare a translucent varnish to change the nature of the surface. This may be to make the surface matted, glossy, streaked, aged, etc. / 4. Convoluted surface- Using only lighter, darker/tonally different colours rather than adding wight or black to imply a distorted or warped surface. / 5. Implied texture- to manipulate the paint on the surface to allude to a significant disruption of the surface which is totally fictional. / 6. Actual Texture- To use additives to develop a surface which has some form of significant disruption of the surface. / 7.Tonally convoluted surface- Using only the single colour, imply a distorted or warped surface. / 8. Geometric Disruption- by the use of tessellation or ordered hard edge division imply an irregular or unstable surface. / 9.Slick finnish- To achieve a surface that is flat, featureless and devoid of tonal variation as is possible to achieve. No pannel is actually complete yet btw, the pannels that are comlete are the ones shown in colour. though, once i complete it i may go back and do some touch ups. / image is a thumbnail section of this stock image http://gracies-stock.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Obsession-Female-Stock-9-45531856
The old drapery shop.The ball beside the cage on the right of the picture is hollow and was used to send money and checks to the office,it was then returned with the correct change.My first job in a shoe shop had something like this but a bit more modern Ha… Ours was a vacuum tube that went off with a loud whooosssh each time .On a very busy day i once gave a customer the wrong change from the returned ball.Which of course made all successive sales wrong.I can not remember how it was sorted out .50 Years on who the hell cares.Well me obviously
Medium Pencil drawing on A1 size Kent cartridge paper. Art & Design theme Extension of the Senses of Man (Woman) / Always had a passion for direct observational drawing/painting from life/nature, especially to observe and study the human figure/form/anatomy. / The skin is our largest sensory organ and requires the extension of clothing for its protection against the environmental elements. Thinly draped clothing veiled over the human form provides ample study of soft falling movements along body lines, flowing shapes & patterns etc. I wanted to explore the human form/skin/clothing outdoors in the natural environment as apposed to life models posing in a protective drawing room set-up that I had been so far exposed to. / / Process: / Stage 1) Exploring the extension of the senses by exposing the human form/skin/clothing to the natural physical elements of water, air and earth/sand at a public beach landscape and documenting this through the photographic medium. Two fellow art students modelled for me in loose light negligee clothing. Stage 2) From there I developed a B&W photographic series learning several darkroom manipulation techniques in the process. Stage 3) From the resultant photographic imagery (on the human structure, female shapes and forms, skin & cloth exposured to the natural elements of water, wind/air, earth/sand/rock in the landscape) I further explore and study the inherent structure and ‘dynamics’ of several images and produce several drawings. / / I think my two fellow art student models totally enjoyed the creative photographic documentation experience, even though they got cold, wet and buried in sand, and I, the photographer stayed dry!
Standing inside the shady branches of a Weeping Cherry Tree. Gibsonia, PA
Charcoal drawing
Life drawing. / Ink and tea stain on paper. / Original size: 12×15cm
Reference / Chalk and Charcoal on Textured A4 paper.
oil on canvas
oil on canvas 45×55 cm. / 1833 views
Vatican museum – Rome – Italy Top 10 in challenge Valuable statues for group First Things / Top 10 in challenge Made of Stone for group The Xoman Photographer
Illustration with decorative seamless royal floral ornament
My talented daughter Jaymi who continues on her amazing growth as an artist in her own way. She’s now 14years old, smarter than a whip and bright as the sun. Jaymi did an original edit very, very similar to this and I duplicated the effects as it looked so much better than the full colour version. Something very sophisticated and soft about this shot. I really like this. Photography: Jaymi / MUA: Jaymi / Costume: Made by me, Tahnja / Jewelry: Supplied by me, Tahnja
Art Nouveau Pin up for spring. She was going to be another one of my Cocktail Pinups but she developed into a flower nymph instead :) Ink and watercolor on heavy weight paper
Red and golden decorative royal seamless floral ornament
Decorative royal seamless floral ornament
Back Study, graphite on Fabriano Uno paper.
A lush array of vegs in the company of exotic samovar basking in the sunset light and ready for the tea to be served oil on canvas 64 by 120 cm, 1995
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