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• Chinese & Amsterdam Storeys
  by Maxwell Edward

  “Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” J…

  “Good afternoon Gentlemen. Our delicious Chinese restaurant serves some of the greatest Chinese delicacies. Can I take your orders?” Jermaine takes charge as usual. “I imagine you can sir. Well my friend will have special fried rice and I will have special sweet n sour chicken. Could you make sure it’s especially sweet n sour though? Thanks sir.” People love to eat Chinese. More often the meals though…for the appetisers may prove too fattening over time. Neville and Jermaine have definitely had their share of fattening up over time. Neville is said to eat more Chinese than most Chinese and as for Jermaine, he probably eats more of most things than most people. “Jerry, don’t you think it’s strange how he mentioned they serve some of the greatest Chinese delicacies?” Jermaine who finds nothing short of highly unusual strange, makes a joke from anything less of great importance. “_Why_? What did you expect in a Chinese Restaurant, Indian food?” Neville who hears these jokes more often than not (but still not in appreciation of them) seems to always be misunderstood. “No, I mean, we’re not Chinese. I can’t see anyone in here that is Chinese…In fact I would say that the only Chinese this restaurant ever sees is on the plates. So, they could get away with telling us that this restaurant actually serves the greatest Chinese delicacies. Why would they not?” Jermaine’s opinion always went back to philosophy. “Some wise advice I have for you Nev. Never question the Chinese.” Something about the way the duo talked, it was utter enjoyment. The puns continuously employed emphasised it. A certain kind of pleasure whenever they accompanied one another was unleashed. “Oh Jerry, you got to hear about what happened to my cousin. _You’ll never believe it_…So Ben was in Amsterdam for some time, on holiday or something. Well on the last week he jumped off the top of a three-storey apartment balcony.” Jermaine who believes most things reasonable, but also hesitates in jumping to conclusions always feels obliged to question the situation. “Why the hell would anyone do something like that?” Neville started blushing. He was never as outgoing as Jermaine, even being questioned made him feel slightly insecure. “Well Jerry, you know my cousin Benjamin. No one questions him.” A certain kind of tension was building somewhere between Nevilles growing timidity and Jermaine’s pursuing nerves. “I think anyone thinking about jumping off the third storey of an apartment should be prepared to answer a lot of questions.” There was an uncomfortable short-lived silence between the duos. Neville thought of it as his responsibility to protect his cousin’s reputation, yet his loyalty had previously shown to lead to misdemeanours. Neville decided to break his loyalty for what his reason was telling him was sensibility. “Yeah Jermaine, agreed. Benjamin sure must be a moron hey. Oh, which reminds me, did I tell you he is going to become a lawyer?” The Chinese waiter had brought back the dishes. This is possibly the fastest time a waiter had brought out dishes (which were supposed to be quality cuisines). Then again, Jermaine and his friends always had their doubts about Chinese restaurants. Over their many meals they had discussed many things ranging from the health issues to the political and economic consequences of the different restaurant franchises. The Chinese waiter did not talk this time. He had a chilling frown cast upon his face. Perhaps he had heard their talking? Perhaps it was just the all-round atmosphere of working in such a demanding service. Jermaine and Neville dug into their meals, each choosing their pick of chop sticks and spoon respectively although ironically not in quite a disorderly manner. It was only lucky that Neville chose a spoon for the fried rice to prevent any more mess (if more mess were possible). “So Nev, back to the story; now that you tell me Mr. Benjamin wants to be a lawyer…that makes much more sense; their all lying bastards. This is one big story to you in order to gain your sympathy or something. It can’t really be explained, except that he is behind it all…” “Not true. I saw his bandages and cuts and sores; everything. That can’t really be faked.” “I’m sure for a lawyer, anything can be faked. Any kind of falsehood can be created and unleashed by those guys!” “No seriously. Okay here’s the story, he said he went to a party. He got pretty drunk knowing it was his last week. Who knows maybe he even did…goddamn man it’s Amsterdam! I don’t have to mention the possibilities, their limitless! Anything could have happened. Well anyway, he woke up and that is when the nurse told him what had been reported to her.” “You know what this sounds like? Chinese whispers. She said this; he said that, you say this…” Sceptical Jermaine could never let any possibility go. “Okay whatever, whatever.” Neville had enough. This sort-of-debate had turned into a sort-of-argument. It was time for him to try and change the mannerism of things “Hey Jerry, this kind of talking is probably not good for eating, let’s just eat okay. I mean just the other day I saw the scars and bleeding…well you know.” Eating continued. Polite (enough) slurping of Chinese tea and rice among other things died down the sound of thought. Than Jermaine continued speaking, but not where they left off. “Hey Nev, I’ll be back in a minute. Just have to convenience myself!” Neville sat there. Five minutes boring his intellect- no one to talk to! Jermaine returned. Back to his meal; back to messy eating and the hope of more polite interesting talk. Before Neville had seen it, Jermaine had finished the rest of his special sweet n sour. “Hey Neville, are you still feeling hungry at all?” Before Neville had a chance to reply Jermaine had beckoned the waiter over and ordered “Special Chinese fortune cookies”. The cookies came in no time at all again. It made it seem like there was surely something efficiently magical about this restaurant. “Hey Nev, can you tell me about this story a bit more. So would you get this, I actually heard about a story similar to his; actually two stories, exactly like his…they both sort of were like these crazy stories where these things happened to guys in…well Chinese restaurants actually!” Neville was only half listening, except the information was still unconsciously processing into his mind. He opened his fortune cookie. “No I do not believe it! Coincidences of such do not occur! Madness unleashed!” Neville started shaking intensely, trembling, his usual steady figure rumbling in what looked like fear; his skin pale and pupils dilating and goose bumps on his skin forming. Than he shoved his hands over his head and continued his fearful actions half-hidden by the table. Jermaine grabbed the little slice of Chinese paper, it must be not so fortunate whatever the fortune be he thought! “You will suffer falling three-storeys tonight. Do not question the Chinese” They both sat there; Jermaine seemingly doing and thinking nothing except watching the actions of Neville. Neville with his behaviour turning more and more intense and shocking as seconds progressed and turned into minutes. “Neville!” Neville took no notice, for a moment, to only a moment later reply, “What? Don’t you fucking get this? Can’t you see what’s happening?” Jermaine looked at his watch. Five minutes. Long enough…longer would be dangerous perhaps. “My good friend Neville. I have a confession. I put that note in your cracker…it’s to teach you a lesson really. But it’s also quite a cracker now too to think of it! You should have seen the look on your face! And my friend, I’ll tell you the moral of the story…Question anything with suspicion, even the Chinese, otherwise who knows what will be unleashed!”

• *My Intervention*
  by Kara Rountree

  Last night, upon entering my living room, my entire family was there to greet me. I immediately sensed a disturbance in my world. I r…

  Last night, upon entering my living room, my entire family was there to greet me. I immediately sensed a disturbance in my world. I recognized the setting even though this scenario had never occurred for me before. It was an intervention. “OH MY GOD,” I thought to myself, as I became more nervous wondering what the hell I did to deserve this sort of attention. “Had I been drinking too much?” “NAH, that can’t be it.” I thought quickly as they swarmed to block my escape route to the stairs. Then a man in the back spoke. He said, “Your family is worried. They don’t spend much time with you anymore. They feel that RedBubble is like crack.” “WHAT?” laughing. “Crack? – you are absurd,” I barked at them all. My mind circled now… / Were they insane? I know that I have been spending the last month consumed in “the bubble,” but I didn’t think that was a problem. I desperately tried to explain that in the bubble I feel inspired to create. When I read the motivational words of my fellow artists it feeds my continued desire to better myself. In the “real” world the normal folks don’t understand what it takes to create each piece. So, to hear praise from fellow artists it means more than the others. The bubble fuels my desire to display work publicly, though I am not doing it today. My fear has always been “those” people and their critique of my work. The bubble is safe for me. It feels good. That is when my family said, “So, Kara… this doesn’t sound like RedBubble Crack to you?” “Well, now that I have explained it out loud – I guess it does.” I offered to my family that I would see if RedBubble would host some RB Anonymous Forums for all of us that are RB Addicts (joke). My family didn’t find this funny AT ALL. The intervention did end well. I admit I am an RB addict! (You say: Hi Kara!) I am proud of it. I want to thank each and every one of you that has left me positive feedback, those of you who have chosen a piece as your favorite, or have added me to your watchlist.

• The Beauty Dialogue
  by Hayley Lees

  The Characters Honey / Charisma / Man & his Dog The Scene: The beautiful fair-haired HONEY meets her best friend, the very leggy CH…

  The Characters Honey / Charisma / Man & his Dog The Scene: The beautiful fair-haired HONEY meets her best friend, the very leggy CHARISMA standing on a street corner. They chat while HONEY waits for the lights to change discussing the latest in beauty and fashion. HONEY is standing straight-backed at the side of the road looking at the pedestrian crossing lights waiting for the little red man to turn green, CHARISMA walks up swinging her red handbag. HONEY: Charisma, hi darling how are you? Oh I love that top, it really shows off your collarbones, and bones are definitely in at the moment, I’ve seen some amazing rib cages come out of Milan this season. CHARISMA: Thanks, [tilting her head and putting her hand to her chest] I’ve been trying out this new eating disorder and it’s really been working, much better than that stupid Hollywood Atkins diet, cheeseburger hold the bun deal. I’m so sick of protein, it’s just easier to give it up all together. HONEY: No, no I’m not good with eating disorders, I find I’m not disciplined enough. I’ve been thinking that I should just try and get worms, I’ve heard that if you’ve got worms you can eat anything you want and not get fat. Much better than burger followed by two fingers, how do you get hold of worms anyway? CHARISMA: Well, our dog had worms for a while, kept dragging his arse all over the carpet, so we took him to the vet and she said he had swollen anal glands and worms. Maybe you just need to hang around with some dogs? HONEY: No, I’m more of a cat person really. CHARISMA: I’m sure cats get worms too, um, ringworm, yeah cats get ringworm. Reckon that could work? HONEY: Yeah but that’s a fungus I think. I don’t need a fungus I need a parasite, I need a worm, preferably a tapeworm. CHARISMA: Kids who’s got kids? They’ll have worms for sure. HONEY: Well my aunty Lena’s got some little kids, but I’m sure if they got worms she’d be straight on it. They’re like so anal about their kids, one time they totally flipped out at me for feeding the baby some peanuts, and I mean aren’t nuts good for kids? And anyway I don’t like to see them more than I have to anyway, they’re always on my case about something, and I fucking hate being told what to do. The red man turns green and they both look up and cross the road they don’t begin to talk again until they have reached the other side, where they turn 180° and again wait for the red man to turn green. CHARISMA: God Honey! You’re not making this any easier, dogs are out, cats are too fungusy, kids are too clean, I mean if you want to look good you’ve got to work for it and beauty certainly isn’t on the inside, I mean who ever looks there? You need to either get better acquainted with these two fingers [holds up her index and middle finger and makes a gagging gesture] or find a worm. HONEY: [despondently] Yeah I know. CHARISMA: Oh come on, you’ve got to get serious about this. Being beautiful is what it’s all about and it’s just too bad if you’re not one of the beautiful people, look at us we’re beautiful and we’ll make it anywhere. Anyway sweetie I’ve got to run, some sick kid dinner, charity thing. Talk soon, ciao. CHARISMA walks off leaving HONEY waiting at the lights again, looking up at the little red man. A man with a dog walks up beside HONEY HONEY: [Looking down at the dog then up at the man] Hi, great dog, do you mind if I pat him? The little man turns green and all three of them cross the road, HONEY patting the dog all the while, and they walk off stage.

• Challenge 17 - Comic Dialogue Writing
  by Challenge Master

  Challenge 17 has now been launched. / / Details can be found Here...

  Challenge 17 has now been launched. / / Details can be found Here / / Good luck all / / CM

• Renewal of a creation
  by AbyssalSoul

  Ok, the story I once uploaded, “The Seal of the Celestial Engine” has gone through some serious editing process, taking away a lot of stu…

  Ok, the story I once uploaded, “The Seal of the Celestial Engine” has gone through some serious editing process, taking away a lot of stuff, removing more but also adding and correcting a lot as well. Moreover, it has changed so much compared to what I originally wrote that it looks almost like a completely different story. Hence why I shortened the title and practically tweaked a lot of the events occurring in the story. Now the posts will carry the F.S.M. tag. Fragment of the Shattered Mirror. This will shorten the title a lot and make it less like a tongue-twister and more like a pleasant reading. I’m thinking about making a couple of artworks related to this but my mind feels dry and blank at the moment and I’m extremely nervous and, well, not in the mood I guess. So, yes, so far here I offer the three fragments of the mirror I’ll upload for now. There are 11-12 in total, depending on how well RB’s writing template behaves with my text bricks: Part one Part two Part three Well, that’s it for now. It will get quite odd. And thanks for reading if you happen to read it.