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• rainy day
  by angelfyre

  Well another chapter in the rollercoaster I call my life. Again the darker side of myself broke free of it’s chains and tortured someone …

  Well another chapter in the rollercoaster I call my life. Again the darker side of myself broke free of it’s chains and tortured someone I love. I try so hard to control myself, keep myself from making relationships, stay on a schedule. I do everything so as to not make ripples in the world. I am a ripple, an effect of a stone being thrown on a smooth surface of water. I run across this world and push my ripple into being ruffling the serenity of all those around me. I drown in my evil side, suffocating slowly because I can’t seem to get a big enough breath of fresh air. A fresh start, I can see now why my mother never settled in one spot. Besides being a singer, she knew that after awhile her sweet personality would give way to the beast inside. / I can remember that side of her. That would be the only time her Angelic face would twist and change into an ugly monster. At that time no one liked her, least of all me. / Oh no worries my mother never got physical with me, she just got loud and disruptive and the cops always got called, and then she would try to fight them and would end up getting arrested. / Now all these years later, I’ve become her. / My face, which looks so much like hers, gets just as ugly, my eyes turning a furious look. I black out. Because of that side of me, I’ve sworn off alcohol. / I was never addicted to it, I just become mean and I hate that side of me. / Hate what I say to my family. / I want to be a good person, not the one that every one fears. / So for that, I quit drinking. / Now I just have to work on controlling my temper. / To say I’m of Scottish ancestry and have a temper, is putting it lightly. / I love to argue and am very hot blooded. / Still that side isn’t as dark as some of the other parts of myself. / It’s a very gray day here today, makes me feel a little sad. / It rained last night, it was so loud, the thunder and the pounding of the water against the roof. So I decided to add that element to my story, that story is proving harder and harder to keep writing. It’s not that I’m blocked it’s just I know how I want it to go, and getting the writing to match what I see in my head isn’t easy. / A friend of mine who read it said it was written like it would be a great movie, I suppose that’s because I see it as a movie in my head. / It started as a dream. I think that’s how all my stories start. I dream in technicolor by the way. lol HDTV broadcasted straight to my mind. / One of these days, I know my dream will be really fantastic, and that one I’ll turn intoa book and try to publish it. / Who knows, it might be that good. lol