If only I could productively procrastinate. I dream of putting down a duster, Mr Sheen, vacuum or mop, mainly because they are so rarely …
If only I could productively procrastinate. I dream of putting down a duster, Mr Sheen, vacuum or mop, mainly because they are so rarely picked up. Gazing out of the windows highlights how desperately they need cleaning. I suppose I could do that, but waddabout the floor, the washing, the dusting, the list is endless. So many choices, so little time. Oh yeh, better check the weather channel again. Austar’s weather channel slogan is announced imperiously, with authority, a deep male baritone ‘The Weather Channel – Live by It’. Sadly my chronic inability to make a decision, about anything at all, means my personal version of the slogan is ‘The Weather Channel – Live for It’. I mean it would be different if the Weather Channel just got their act together. But no, don’t be ridiculous. They keep changing the long range forecast. It’s gonna rain next Saturday, ten minutes later, it’s a different story. Nadda, nothing, no rain, not even a cloud for the next week. There is a cool change coming. But when? I got that one sussed. Every postcode from Port Augusta east to the West Australian border is programmed into my telly. That way I can see the temperature drop as the change approaches. Good thinking hey!! For fun and entertainment I check my sister, Miss Maude’s, postcode. She lives in a wonderful seaside town, home of the amazing Makyvi Diva, so you can imagine the entire town is just as flash as Michael Jackson. It never used to get real hot there so she has no air-conditioner, just a nice collection of ugg boots and snuggly jumpers. Partially responsible for laughs at Miss Maude’s expense would have to be Global Warming. They reckon Global Warming is all bad? Not so. Combine Global Warming, the weather channel and my superb programming abilities, I can now get a real belly laugh out of the fact she is melting like a chocolate Easter rabbit in the oven, at 41 degrees Celsius. Not many people know about my living for the Weather Channel. Not even my psychiatrist, psychologist or doctor. Maybe I should tell them. Or maybe not? Consideration of anything else at all, outside the Weather Channel, leads to procrastination. Am I not entitled to inner peace, does the Weather Channel not take away the worries, the choices, the endless round of decisions? Once it cools down things will get better. I will leap of the sofa, toss the remote aside, clean the house, do the washing, load up the trailer, write a book, unpack my Mosaics, set up a studio, create a Masterpiece, go to university, volunteer at the school, find other things to laugh at, the list is endless. According to the long-range forecast my life should all start to happen next Wednesday. What am I going to wear?
Looking Out The Window / By Rain I lay here looking out my window / Watching as the darkness comes / It sneaks up on me nice and slow / ...
Looking Out The Window / By Rain I lay here looking out my window / Watching as the darkness comes / It sneaks up on me nice and slow / The light chased quietly from the sky The chill comes next to rest in my spine / My beating heart as loud as thunder / Hands are shaking I lose all time. / I must get out I’m caged again Looking here, looking there / This isn’t helping. Oh! Not again / Eyes are going everywhere / When will I be freed of them They had their fun they had their turns / They think of it never once again / Their insides never churn / They took my right to choose!! They’ll pay someday I tell myself / Somehow they’ll know the pain / But really in my heart I think / What ever will that gain?
Do you remember the clarity of childhood? Out in the playground you would sit observant and care free. Do you remember the smell of the f…
Do you remember the clarity of childhood? Out in the playground you would sit observant and care free. Do you remember the smell of the freshly cut woodchips underneath the monkey bars? Everything was so crisp, so fresh and so new. You remember the smell of the damp soil as you dig in the garden. The change in sunlight as the summer’s day turned to a cool afternoon doused in shade. You really did live in the moment. It’s funny how when you recall childhood memories you really do remember the small details. You remember the smells, the tastes, the texture and the emotion. I remember the colours of my plastic trike, every single part and the sound it used to make when the plastic wheels ground over the asphalt below as the vibrations shook my small happy body. I remember the faded and paint chipped blue bubblers that stood looking sad outside my primary school classroom window and the way the cool water would spurt in different directions, as I would sip during lunchtime of a summer’s afternoon. I can see the weaving and faded patterns of different coloured handball courts that wove through the playground. I remember the colour, feel and smell of my rug for ‘sleep time’ at preschool. Yet why is it that memories of late seem less vivid? They appear as faded VHS recorded moments with poor colour saturation and void of the associated smells, texture and emotion of the moment itself. Why is it that something I recall from five years ago may have less impact and detail as a memory from childhood? It is as if we go from directly experiencing the world to then experiencing it through a veil of modern day stress and mental noise. As we get older we give things labels. Likes and dislikes, wants and needs, pleasant and unpleasant and once we do this we no longer really every ‘see’ these now labelled things but experience them through a clouded lens of pre determined judgment that changes our entire view of the world. Never again do you experience things just as they are. Nothing is new anymore, everything has been done. We go from no longer seeing the beach but instead we see a place on dangerous rips, sharks and bluebottles. We no longer see the beautiful sun drenched day, but we see another day of exhausting heat, sunstroke and skin cancer. We don’t see the beautiful view as we gaze from the peak of a mountain but we see a dangerous height where one could fall and bush below where people get lost and die. It’s as if we go from the playground to inside the house where we dwell in what we are so sure we already know. At first we sit in a clean freshly painted white room with big clear windows through which we still interact with the world, but it’s different. We may still get a waft of spring wattle on the coming summer breeze that floats in through, but we won’t often venture outside to experience it directly. We stare out confused with that look of distracted interest you remember so well witnessing on your parents faces as they watched you play and you craved for attention in the yard outside. As time goes on the window gets a little dusty and the view through the dirty glass is a little more obscured. The clean new white room has changed and begins to fill with a few objects that grab your attention and distract you slightly from the outside world. Things of worry, concern or dismay fill the room and you begin to focus more on these things than the window now. Time moves on and again the window gets cloudier and the room fills with more objects that demand your attention as dust fills the corners and your own kids can be viewed outside the now even cloudier window as they glance back to see if you’re looking. But it’s hard, it’s really hard to be present and live in this moment. It’s hard to step outside this room and into the yard when there are so many issues. We live more and more in our own head than we do the actual world. Every now and then we fling open the windows and experience the world again. We are present for a tiny moment as we sit, smell the air and bath in the beauty of the garden but before long our mind takes over and we’re back indoors. In this modern age we are very rarely present. We don’t notice the details of everyday life as much as we should. We turn to art and media to tell us about the world and we sit in our air-conditioned comfort on our Ikea lounge suite and watch ‘the world’ brought to our living room. Or we may go to a gallery, theatre and other medium in which to qualify ourselves as ‘worldly’. However even the artist whose job it is to reflect our own world back to us reflects a fragmented version of his own preconceived idea of our world. Every now and then a masterpiece will be created. This usually happens when an artist is present long enough to notice the beauty and detail in an everyday object or place and is able to capture it free of pre conceived judgement and ideas and can reflect that experience back to us. When this happens it is astonishing because it communicates with our inner child linking directly back to a time of freedom, clarity, and happiness. It takes us to a time when we really did experience the world. This is the ultimate triumph for the artist. So how do we go back to experiencing the world as new? How do we get out of our minds because if we don’t you will be stuck in that room and it will get worse. / You will start to draw the curtains over the only window for fear the sun may fade the furniture and the room will fill with clutter that you begin to cling to. You associate yourself with these inanimate objects more than you do the real world. The dust builds, the cobwebs grow and you’re stuck in a cluttered room of material possessions that represent faded memories of a time when you used to live in the real world so you cling on to them harder. What’s the answer? Be present. Learn to tame your mind to stop its incessant noise and commentary. Try to simply view the world without judging. Enjoy the little things, bath in the detail, the sights, the smells, the texture the feeling. / Get out of the room and step into the garden, even if just to sit there. Otherwise the window will grow smaller and the world will change without you. Be present and observant like a child swinging on the cool smooth steel monkey bars smelling the fresh woodchips and thinking nothing else but that.
I’m never really here, only briefly through moments of short-lived clarity. I see and appreciate the good things but as if they are only …
I’m never really here, only briefly through moments of short-lived clarity. I see and appreciate the good things but as if they are only copies of the Devine originals as everything lacks the vibrant buzz it used to have. Something else has taken over, an inner noise that is neither sensational nor inspiring. It is as if I have a disgruntled and dissatisfied entity living within me. My perception seems tainted yet heightened to the point where other people’s negative moods spill on to me and effect me as if they were my own. I sense tense vibes like a tracker senses presence from foot tracks left in the dirt. An inner frustration persists at my conscious, robbing me of any ability to settle and be still and relax. Fear of wasting the day, wasting the night, wasting my life encourages me to drive, walk, run from one side of the city to another looking to quench an everlasting thirst for any raw happy experience. I lie on the beach and I enjoy it but I think I will look back more fondly on the memory of the experience of being here rather than this very moment, lying in the warm sun with sand at my toes, thinking incessant and irrelevant things. It is as if the mind is being used at a hundred-percent capacity when it retrieves an old memory so you only experience the memory. For a short moment as the mental movie is playing there is no more mind space to judge, criticise or comment on the memory being played. It is because of this I feel my memories possess more stillness, more peace, more clarity than the actual moment itself. They are a much less complex representation of a moment without all the unnecessary noise and judgement that stalks me during the moment itself. Now it has become as if I am wandering looking for experiences to add to my memory bank to be edited and retrieved later without the present associated mental noise, as if my memories are digitally remastered versions of an old show real. Like a tourist who views his holiday through the viewfinder of his camcorder I too am viewing my present life in retrospect but as it happens. Yet sometimes my memory becomes the director’s cut as it hijacks my experiences and puts a negative spin on them, choosing and editing particular snippets to make a moment totally different to the actual event when I relive it in my head. This director knows his target audience well and plays on my fears, paranoia and insecurity as he selects particular takes on things to play on my emotion. I sit in the cafe, trying to be still and calm, sitting in the sun and enjoying the view. But I want to leave… Where to? I don’t know, but I force myself to sit here longer, I force the experience for fear of regret? Maybe but perhaps to finish the mental movies of ‘me enjoying the sun and a coffee’ or ‘me enjoying the beach on a summer’s day’. What does this mean? I am the star of these mental films yet prefer to watch them rather than enjoy acting out the scene as it happens. They say people who suffer from depression should force themselves to do things they used to enjoy and eventually the enjoyment will come back. I ask when is this moment? When will I stop acting out a fun life I don’t always feel inside? When will I be able to put down the camcorder and enjoy the moment whether it’s captured on tape or not? / I am still waiting, waiting to start living when… Why not today, why not now? Stress and anxiety buzz around my head as not only am I inundated by mental movies of actual events but those of fictitious possible future situations, worst case scenarios if you like. That is what anxiety really is, fear of a possible future situation or predicament. The anxiety however is caused by the mental movie in your head that is poorly written, directed and acted but to you it is a real possible future situation. / Anxiety is very rarely in the present. When it is encountered in the present moment and not that of fictitious mental movies, your body takes over through fight or flight and you just deal with it. You don’t think, ponder, wonder nor do you rehearse scripts in your head of things you might want to say to people, or re run certain situations from every different angle until you’re exhausted, you just do what is needed. This is why people who suffer great tragedy often seem calm in stressful situations and know what to do. I experienced this myself when working for Melbourne’s triple zero police emergency centre. I would get some calls in which people would be hysterical and screaming. However when the police arrived on scene they would find that in fact the situation was highly exaggerated by the person who called it in and at best vaguely resembled the original scenario stated by the hysterical caller at the time. It was the callers who were calm, placid and logical. They would call to report a murder with such absolute matter of fact calmness and rationale that at first I would think it was a prank caller. However these are the ones where the police would arrive on scene to discover a bloody and violent crime. I began to understand this and would shudder as I spoke to these calm, rational and matter of fact callers as they reported to me they had killed their father, mother, lover or friend. So why is anxiety such a useless and modern day disease? We are so saturated by the media who love embellishing the truth, putting images of war and tragedy on a dramatic soundtrack with a catchy heading that we have begun to do the same to our own lives. We envisage our dramatic life being played out. Something dramatic will happen and afterwards we will drive home rehearsing in our own heads how we will tell the story to others. We get a warped sort of excitement about break the news story ‘what just happened to me’. This is depression, lack of interest, lack of energy, lack of being able to connect with positive vibes and situations. A bitter, twisted and resentful director sits in your head calling the shots putting a negative spin on everything to increase the drama. Just don’t get addicted to it. Conflict is, after all, the centre of drama and the source of most entertainment we see every day. Is this creating a culture where we are addicted to drama to the point we act it out, even fictitiously, in our own head? Do we view life as not entertaining if there’s no drama? I think it gets to a point where we actually identify with drama and connect with it on a deep unconscious level. We enjoy it’s entertainment and the spectrum of emotion it evokes, we enjoy the catharsis we go through at the end of it and it all becomes ‘normal’ when in actual fact it’s not, well it never used to be, but maybe now it is. Maybe with depression being one of the most commonly diagnosed illnesses, this is in fact the new world that we live in, hanging in suspense everyday waiting for the next episode as we play the ‘next week in my life’ teasers in our head.
Have you ever had the desire to share every little detail you have ever learned in your life? Not just mathematics, nor reading, writing…
Have you ever had the desire to share every little detail you have ever learned in your life? Not just mathematics, nor reading, writing, geography or history. I mean the things that are important for survival. Like where to go to apply for food stamps, or how to apply for disability, or even what qualifies as being disabled. Finding affordable housing, ways to earn money with what you know and love to do. I’ve never been able to hold a job for more then a month. I’ve tried working every day since I turned 16, and every month I was out looking for a new one. I have a bad case of depression, mixed with a heavy dose of ‘racing thoughts’ anxiety, then throw in the inability to sleep half the time. What a mess. The racing thoughts have always been the same thing; bettering my life in some way by helping others do the same. Opening a school for high school kids who have had to drop out where they can work, get paid and Learn. Teaching life lessons to kids through my childrens books. Trying to help every Tom, Dick and Harry who’s ever come crying to my door. And I have learned alot from these experiences; people use you for nothing more then their own personal gain. But at least I gained that knowledge. In some way, I gained though that wasn’t their intention.
I have, within me, an intense need to create, to put my perspective out there in the world. That’s all that art really is, after all. P…
I have, within me, an intense need to create, to put my perspective out there in the world. That’s all that art really is, after all. Perspective. And maybe a dash of ego. My words, my images, my thoughts and feelings and poetry and photos. I finally feel able to harness this energy into a driving force. But once harnessed, where do I go with it? How do I guide it? I’m not gonna lie – I’m horrible at networking. I have this problem, see, I tend to burn bridges while I’m still on them, without even realizing they’re on fire. And thus, after multiple experiences with such a feeling, I am now wary to begin networking again. Or for the first time. Whatever. I’m terribly shy, horribly anxious, and, well, generally effing terrified. Because what if I am not good enough? So… help.
Every now and then it suits each and everyone of us to get a physical check-up to see and examine if “ALL SYSTEMS ARE ON GO”. Sometime…
Every now and then it suits each and everyone of us to get a physical check-up to see and examine if “ALL SYSTEMS ARE ON GO”. Sometimes we find that to our utter dismay, something is happening in our bodies we need to take serious attention to and at others there was no true concern for anxiety. Many, however, fail to give their mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of who they are an examination. Sometimes, we are cowardly – afraid we will be labeled ‘abnormal’. In reality, each and every individual faces challenges to their psyche. It is in our creative capabilities, that many have their best “voice” to describe their personality. While it is not conclusive, there are “signs” that are manifest in this exhibition of our wellbeing amongst our society of peers. This exercise of creativity, regardless of the mode and method, bides as a catharsis for each and everyone. It is, perhaps, in this thereapy we retain the very shreds of sanity we fear are at loss.
I suspect that there are hundreds of people out there who have this affliction and don’t even know it. Maybe millions. When this syndome…
I suspect that there are hundreds of people out there who have this affliction and don’t even know it. Maybe millions. When this syndome is at its worst, I can’t… I mean, my friend can’t concentrate on anything, and is very noticeably aggitated. He might try to do something as simple as getting a bowl of cereal, yet be unable to complete this multi-stage task because my anxiety…. his anxiety level drives him to leave the kitchen. At lower levels you’d hardly even notice that the person is suffering, but at its peak when he’s shifting his weight from one foot to the other, or can’t sit still, and his eyes take on a glaze of desperate inner focus, he inevitably races to the bathroom to go pee. Although all of the symptoms are immediately, almost miraculously gone replaced by wonderful sense of relief, I KNOW that I will… he will do it again. / Pointless Urination-Avoidance syndrome seems to have escaped the attention of researchers, but why on Earth would anyone put off going pee until the limit of human endurance has been reached?!! The outcome is NEVER in question… at some point in the near future, I WILL… I mean, he WILL go pee. That’s the pointless part. PUA has huge economic implications. Just think of the collective hours spent every day on job sites with people in a state of lowered productivity due to PUA syndrome victims. / The psychology of the syndrome should also be studied. I suggest, in support of my long-suffering friend, that there are probably control issues at the base of this. It’s not whether or not I have… my friend has poor control over his bladder, but control over his life. Yeah, that’s gotta be it. THIS is something he has control over. I can just see him sitting here knowing, “No one can make me go pee. In fact, I will NOT go pee. It’s ME who is in control here.” (That’s my friend’s thinking, remember… not me… really!) / Of course, another psychological angle is the fact that no person in a well-grounded logical state of mind would enter into a battle in which the outcome is never in doubt, not to mention the discomfort, anxiety, reduced attention span and self-abuse involved. / Nah, PUAS is probably part of the human condition. Everyone has this problem… right? I’m normal… right? :) :) / I mean, my friend is normal, right? / Ted
Hola Bubblers! Im onto my Final Major Project in college. eek with one week to go! (oops) For it, i’ve been looking into human behavi…
Hola Bubblers! Im onto my Final Major Project in college. eek with one week to go! (oops) For it, i’ve been looking into human behaviour. inperticular anxiety. to cut a long story short i wanted to find that something, universal that creates some sort of anxiety within everyone. I came to the conclusion it was whatching a sex scene from a film or tv program when your parents are in the room.. it creates a reacrtion whatever it is. My questions to you Whilst watching tv or a film with your parents (grandparents)and sex scene comes on, what happens ? how do you feel?? (if anything) Can you remember a scene in a film or tv programe that left you feeling particularly akward in the above situation?
It finally stopped raining, yet somehow it’s still not spring out there. I haven’t picked up my camera since last Saturday when I returne…
It finally stopped raining, yet somehow it’s still not spring out there. I haven’t picked up my camera since last Saturday when I returned to the old Nichewaug Inn to pay what may be my last visit to one of the most poignant abandonments I have ever photographed. When you come upon a place that hasn’t been touched since 1972 there’s an eerie feeling inside like time has stopped and you, your future self, are intruding on a life that is frozen inside that building. In the beds that are still made you can see those who slept in them for one night, one month, one year… It’s not your own face in that mirror but the face of another young girl getting ready to graduate from Maria Assumpta in 1956, the first graduating class of the Inn turned Catholic school. An amazing place that…
Round 4 of my ferris wheel work man it’s been a while several months passed by my headspace as mentally unstable as ever as my body battl…
Round 4 of my ferris wheel work man it’s been a while several months passed by my headspace as mentally unstable as ever as my body battles anxiety an outlet of photography and beautiful images get created still i wonder why do i have to be in so much pain to get these photos images that are much like my mind often blended, messy, colorful and tangled lost in a big spider web. so what it produces is great but when ones own sanity is in question i think it changes things a bit, it’s like a never ending war path in a battle to beat the panic attacks that just send my brain waves crazy. the images are a picture of my mind so perfectly matching everything going on. it’s the one thing i know i can take photos of n generally not fail at for aslong as my head is in that state as it is when i do the shoots i get such effects.
It’s finally out, so all the panic and fear can be put to bed Local sex bombs, and good friends The Blow Waves...
It’s finally out, so all the panic and fear can be put to bed Local sex bombs, and good friends The Blow Waves scored the front cover of Gay & Lesbian magazine MCV and asked me to do the shoot. Some of the shots have popped up on Redbubble briefly, but here is the finished, published product from inside the article, and featured on the front page of their website Now I need a nap
Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I find a part of me / A lost piece floating across your smile / Dancing in my heart / Filling my soul ...
Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I find a part of me / A lost piece floating across your smile / Dancing in my heart / Filling my soul / Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I find peaceful tranquility / Warming my heart / Relieving my fears / Clearing my thoughts / Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I find danger / Lurking deep below your surface / Bringing to me nervous anxiety / Filling me with uncertainty / Sometimes when I look into your eyes / I lose a part of me
No no.. am not suggesting some celebration or something.. though i do wish that more people will understand about mental health, and hope…
No no.. am not suggesting some celebration or something.. though i do wish that more people will understand about mental health, and hopefully dampen the annoying stigma the society tend to paste on us. Basically i just managed to join Voices of the Dark and the Deep group as an admin. the main reason is because i was hoping to get a place for some of us to gather and share our experiences and help each other. due to time constraints, the forum’s not really well formatted and categorised yet.. but the first section i made is certainly for there to stay (i hope)! Tips & Advices From The Experienced Section / i realized from Karin’s journal to help me, Clinical Depression & Silent Cries that many of us here actually do suffer from some form of depression or bad health or mental health problems.. What are some of the different Mental Health Problems? / Check out the list on the left hand side of this website or this page for those who have no idea what genre are those under (there’s that many different form and names). i think some of us who have a form or another of mental illness will agree with me that the public need to be seriously educated that there are actually many form of mental illness eh? Well, we may not be able to educate everyone, but we can try by slowly educating the one closer to us. Easier said than done. / is that what you’re thinking? hehe.. yesh, i read minds… / i agree. it’s seriously easier said than done. i know because i’ve been trying to educate 1 lady for the past 4yrs, and till now, i still fail. but hey!! does that mean i should stop trying? if it’s for my own good, why should i stop? it’s frustrating, yes. i agree. but it’s really important we try to educate those close to us ie. friends and especially family because they’re there to stay and (hopefully) support us someday. Anyway, back to the point… the Tips & Advices From The Experienced Section is create with the idea of us sharing some tips and advices we might have, be it from personal experience, or from the experience of someone we love. But it is in no way a professional advice section. So ultimately, if you or someone you know, if having a medical problem that might be related to mental health, please please do seek proper professional medical help. Visit your GP, or the hospital. Seek help. It’s nothing abnormal. How can it be with millions around the world suffering from it. Seek treatment. Work towards recovery. Be strong. And screw the stigma society paste on our medications, aka “Happy Pills”. The ignorant masses will call it Happy Pills. / Many in general tend to think that it’s bad to depend on medication. “You’re get addicted.” “Why are you taking Drugs?!” “Are you nuts!?” and yadda yadda yadda.. Basically most of us know the general public believes that it’s bad to get addicted to our “Happy Pills”. But my advice is please please, stick to your medications as prescribed by doctor don’t bother taking extra (i’ve tried, it doesn’t work that way) don’t try to wean off it without consulting your doctor first (i’ve tried it and it backfire and even worsen my condition) don’t believe the public stigma about being addicted or dependent on the medicine. Why the last statement? Because i feel the public lack 1 understanding about mental illness and how our medicine works. They are not professionals. Yes, our medicine will not help solve the problem. that’s a silly notion to believe. BUT, the correct belief we should have is, our medicine is there to help us. Yes, it doesn’t help solve the problem. medicine is there to help us internally, where we can’t control, eg, the chemicals in our brain or the hormones our body releases as time passes. (am not refering to teen raging hormones, but rather some illnesses DO happen due to our body changes, releasing of some hormones that may lead to things like weight gain or hair loss that can lead to depression). So yea. The medicines prescribed by doctors are supposed to help us internally. IF at any point it seems like it’s not helping or your problem is getting worst, return to your doctor and tell him that it’s not helping or it’s getting worst. tell him how is it worst (in detail). if there is no improvement or changes in a few months, seek a second doctor’s opinion. Now, while our medicine are there to help us, we ourselves mustn’t believe in the public stigma that our medicine is a Happy Pill. No, it isn’t. It’s there to help us internally. That’s all. Ultimately, we ourselves must work hard to solve the root of our problems. / We ourselves must work hard to improve and stay healthy. / We ourselves must find solutions to help us deal with our situations and problems. We must work towards our own happiness, not depend on just medication. Don’t ever stop seeking help. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. May we all feel and get better by the next WMHD.. Take care. Be Strong. Be Healthy. Love and hugs, / fa Check out Karin’s journal here!! Help spread the word and promote awareness!! =D
WHMD = World Mental Health Day It’s World Mental Health Day today, 10 Oct 2008. Just finish a writing...
WHMD = World Mental Health Day It’s World Mental Health Day today, 10 Oct 2008. Just finish a writing on this topic. It’s World Mental Health Day. So do check it out. If you don’t fancy the bigger and fancier fonts used for RB’s writings mode, check out the journal version of my writing instead. HAVE YOU LOVED YOURSELF, PEOPLE?! XD / / Take care. Be Strong. Be Healthy. Check out Karin’s journal here!! Help spread the word and promote awareness!! =D
Hi / I have not been around a great deal lately, there has been a lot happening in my life. / Number one, I have trained as a Heal Your Li…
Hi / I have not been around a great deal lately, there has been a lot happening in my life. / Number one, I have trained as a Heal Your Life and achieve your dreams workshop co-ordinator based on the teachings of Louise.L.Hay. What an INCREDIBLE experience! I can not wait to share the experience!! / I have received two distinctions for my last assignments!!! / I have participated in mental health week, running a craft workshop to celebrate this great week. / My daughter who has bi-polar, I have had the honour of watching her co-ordinate, participate the activities during mental health week. / My poem … Black Dog.. honouring her battle with bipolar/depression was published / in the MIFSA ( Mental Illness Fellowship South Australia) newsletter. And the MIFSA band are setting it to music. Also selected to be included in the Redbubble ‘Compassion’ Book / REMEMBER-- October is depression and anxiety awareness month for Beyond Blue. / Life is a gift, we just have to be brave enough to open it! / Love, light and laughter to you all
Oh, clicking on the image will get you to the possibility of larger view ;-)
“Sad” was featured in the group Canon DSLR / !http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/backingcolor:white/product:greeting-card/view:prev…
“Sad” was featured in the group Canon DSLR / “Let me out of here!!” was featured in the group The Patchwork / I am very grateful to the hosts of both group!!!!!
Okay… Been having some crazy dreams this week which, of course, prompted me to do more research on them. In one… I was stranded on a …
Okay… Been having some crazy dreams this week which, of course, prompted me to do more research on them. In one… I was stranded on a Winnebago with no driver or steering wheel. It was just flying down the road on it’s own course. The other one that I remember was simply that I was in labor with child and worried about how long it was going to take. I found some interesting research that had been done on anxiety in dreams. Apparently… when we are able to express anxiety in dreams, we are better able to deal with the real anxieties in our life because our subconscious mind has been working on the problem for us. I am putting this in a journal because I also think that writing serves this function. I don’t think it, I know it. I would encourage anyone to write for this reason alone. It is a process that uncovers things in your brain. In a way… it works like dreams. Sometimes random, sometimes completely relevant to your daily life, but always keeps you thinking. Just a thought… keep writing. It’s good for you!!
Thank you so much Ushnaa Sardar and theyellowfury for featuring my poem Stressed in your wonderful Core (C.O.R.E) group today. Also li…
Thank you so much Ushnaa Sardar and theyellowfury for featuring my poem Stressed in your wonderful Core (C.O.R.E) group today. Also like to thank all my beautiful RedBubble friends for all your wonderful support and comments on this poem that I wrote on the 29-3-09. Truly appreciate your kindness. Stressed They say there is good pressure and bad, / but this kind of pressure just makes me sad. / I know jobs are at risk and life is on the line / it is difficult to see the good in it this time. The stress that I speak of can lock you in a cage / this kind of pressure can only make you age. / Your heart races fast…you can feel your heart wither / Thoughts all colliding make your soul shiver. New words of redundancy, reengineer, retrench / bounce around in my brain / If I hear one more word its for the common good I will go insane. / No good ever comes from taking peoples jobs: / just broken dreams, shattered homes that rupture the fabric of our society. In times of distress of economic struggle / Business need to be innovative and learn how to huddle. / New ideas…fresh ways of seeing, small sacrifices, / collaboration so that all can benefit. / Instead of turning toxic and managing some out or retrenching / leaving those that are left behind overloaded, marching towards burnout. I witness each day the underbelly of this recession as / my classes swell from 10 to 27. / I had a nightmare my classes grew to 100 / woke myself up…the insanity couldn’t go on. / What once were lessons of job skills and self marketing / now becomes group psychology…therapy… / where attitudes and hearts need to be attended to / enabling people to find new ways of seeing and being. As we head deeper into the cave of recession / all my candidates feel is dismay and depression. / When companies downsize / the ones left behind just suffer. / With one person doing the job of four / and the managers over head begging for more. Corporations cry out take heed we must re-engineer! / Create new workers for new times are here. / They create a new language of empowerment, teamwork, responsibility, / they ask the new workers to bring their heart, their souls to work / but say that they must be willing to be let go if no longer needed. Words of loyalty, commitment, security are scorned, / while flexible, adaptable, portfolio are spawned. / We must now become portfolio workers to survive / Reflecting on our skills, our talents, / selling our points verified, measured and demonstrated. / And then and only then will we have a competitive edge. / This all counts when you can go up against 2,500 people for one job! All I want to write about is kindness and love / but when I am showered by stress from the powers above, / anxiety knocks at my door and smashes my peace / my imagination stretches and struggles to find relief. Sleep that was once sound is now jagged and broken / Peace that was once a natural state of being / is just a memory in the past…a token. / As my mind screams to be still / for a place to find sanctuary from this confusion. With two days before the tender result are released / With two days before the audit / I fear that our office is now under scrutiny / Under attack, the earth tremors, the flames burn / Will it exist in the future? I suspect it will not. Anxiety knocks at my door / Sitting in the traffic as the sleek cars try out for Grand Prix / In my blue Vectra…the incessant sound makes me / want to disappear through the floor. / The weekend has arrived and I will be free / But I fear this weekend…free is just a dream. I was right. Still I seek for reprieve inside my art / I look for happiness inside my heart / I struggle to escape the wicked tentacles / of anxiety that wraps around my mind / Making my soul bleed with sadness for / human kind… ...and I can hear my soul whisper / It is time for a Revolution of Kindness. Anthea Slade 29-3-09
I devised a tool that helps me deal with the sudden frustration felt during challenging moments of the creative process. Before releas…
I devised a tool that helps me deal with the sudden frustration felt during challenging moments of the creative process. Before releasing this tool as an app for US .99c in the iTunes App Store, I thought to first test it with my RedBubble friends. Let me know how you go. Click for the Frustration and Anxiety Release Tool for Artists One last note. I believe in the power of open source software development, so if you would like to augment my software tool, please feel free to download the software here. File in PSD format; font: Rockwell 28 pt Please send me links to any enhancements that you make to this tool. Back to work …
So I went to get some solvent for my brushes so I can continue my oil painting :) I also got some charcoal pencils and some really nice …
So I went to get some solvent for my brushes so I can continue my oil painting :) I also got some charcoal pencils and some really nice drawing paper to draw on and some ink because I am using too much ink pens since I joined red bubble, but I don’t know where to begn I am getting artist anxiety lol, the cashier lady asked what I was making so I showed her a picture on my cell phone and she said you know what I think of you “Disney” LOL that’s beyond my dreams I guess because my use of color I just like how oil paints pop out anyway I will be finished this month and I will upload a low resolution picture till I can get ahold of a camera with bigger pixel quality or if I can get someone to take the pictures for me here is a snek peak it’s the painting behind me lol not shown is the geisha in a blue dress.
Happy New Year everyone!! Thank you to everyone who supported and encouraged me in 2009, for those that were there in the hard times I’v…
Happy New Year everyone!! Thank you to everyone who supported and encouraged me in 2009, for those that were there in the hard times I’ve really appreciated it guys and to show that appreciation, in 2010 I’ve started a new blog: / / Please bmail or email me (karintaylor@exemail.com.au) if you suffer from anxiety, depression, stress or other illness and you find drawing relieves the symptoms. I’d like to feature people on my blog, but i need you to answer the following questions, along with links to your drawings or small file attachments (your work will only be used for the purpose of the feature and for no other profitable means) The questions are as follows and I’ve included my own (sample) answers to give an idea of what I’m looking for: 1. Why do you love drawing? / eg I love drawing because it takes me into another dimension where I am weightless, buoyant and lifted from all earthly and wordly troubles and i get to express myself in a very special way, I feel fulfilled and whole after I complete a drawing, much like swimming laps or completing an exercise routine, there is a feeling of achievement. / 2. Has drawing helped to relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression, stress or illness? / Yes, whilst I’m drawing I’m on a different plane, and rarely think of or notice physical symptoms, headaches disappear, stress is gone, depression disappears for the moment, I am unaware of my anxiety and it’s a very good feeling….once I’m back from the drawing, symptoms return, but somewhat less….and I do feel much better. / 3. Where is your favourite drawing place? / I like to get cosy on my bed to draw, legs crossed or use my legs as a balance for the drawing board…i have a pile of pencils, erasers, etc…in an old cellophane fruit container….and my big pad of paper….and that’s where i feel most comfy and happy drawing ..... / My own drawings are being uploaded to the blog also as this year I will have an excess of drawings and probably not upload all of them here to the bubble, as I’m only uploading one artwork per week here, as is my New Year’s Resolution to take life easier, and I will use the blog as a way of finding wholeness and wellbeing through focussing on what works and helps keep depression at bay, according to you and according to whatever i learn through experience or research, that may include comedy, music, cognitive behavioural therapy and other things that i find helpful, or things you bring to my notice….i want to be able to tell your stories, in order to encourage myself and others in 2010 / ..... Thank you for listening! I look forward to hearing from you…Happy New Year !!! / ps…there is a link to my new blog on the front of my portfolio here at redbubble, so if you can’t find where to go or lose sight of this journal…don’t forget to look on my front page! :)
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