Alone Journal Entries

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• Always Alone
  by DeeprBlue

  So alone and quiet. / I try so hard to nto fall into the deep depression…but it’s a battle I live with…lived with from childhood. / St…

  So alone and quiet. / I try so hard to nto fall into the deep depression…but it’s a battle I live with…lived with from childhood. / Still…I fought all these 40 odd years to make something of myself through, despite, b/c of, and for all good reasons…to make a loving mark on the world in any way I could… / When this rare brain disease took ahold of me, it seemed all was lost for certain….as it was I lost my career, my husband, my home, my income, everything it seemed… / Dignity was something hard pressed to come by. I’m so tired…all I have now is my creativity. Pain can be channeled into things good or bad..and all I can hope to do is channel it into something good. If I speak, I seem to be misunderstood…and I realize now…I should speak very little in my remaining life…what’s left of it…and hope that my unspoken acts of creativity will be enough… I’m quite alone…and it hurts…but perhaps I can continue trying to express my heart through mediums left open for personal interpretation/s that enlighten others minds and hearts and eyes… There is nothing left in my world but me…and my two dogs…aging as well…one of which I am closest to and he is in pain as well and I have no means to get him the medical attention he so needs….there again I am presented with lack of compassion even for an animal…no money, no help. / This is what our world has become… / Will it come down to me having to euthanize my poor Murph….at some point….to stop his pain..? / He stares at me even mow…such a deep, deep soul he is…reading my every emotion…and taking it upon his own little heart….he is so sad too often… / Perhaps i’ll create something one day out of my inner deepest pain and deepest part of my heart…that will be magnificent enough…that it will bring me the funds to get him help….I’ve tried every option out there to get him help… Where are the days when I made a feast for so many…every Holiday? When my home was filled with laughter and joy and peace and unity…? / Wher are the days that I was held in such high esteem by my peers for my sucesses…..all gone….everyone is gone now… An educated, well mannered and kind soul am I…and my heart is tender…and I look around at this tiny motor home that i’ve come to call home now…and sometimes I sob quietly..such exquisite pain. My fingers ache from the cold and sometimes as I work with my images, I can see my breath from the cold in here…can’t warm them in hot water as there is none… How much time do I have? They said a year. it’s been 5 years. / Dare I say the words..? those words about wishing it had happened or will it just be done with me and get it over with..? I don’t know what’s on the other side, so my lack of courage to end it myself keeps me exisiting and breathing air, taking space, in this universe that I feel I don’t even have a right to take those small gifts from. / I should get up…..go walk…take more pictures..but the bed holds me in it’s embrace…the only warmth I have… / So i will try to to create something….over and over and over and over…until I can’t any longer.

• Sold!
  by Debbie Black

  ...

  Just sold a Medium Canvas Print of Alone in Paradise Thank You! :)

• Space alone
  by yanmos

  one of the most beautiful animation by ilias sounas / space alone

  one of the most beautiful animation by ilias sounas / space alone

• i feel alone
  by WOLF

  i just called 911 for mom about 30 min s her suger was 52 way to low / they say she will be ok but i dont just seeing her that way freeke…

  i just called 911 for mom about 30 min s her suger was 52 way to low / they say she will be ok but i dont just seeing her that way freeked me out i called the family to get hear asap i think i did the right thing but i dont . i almost went to the bank right after work if had i would have found her with my dad right now and not with me thats something i dont want to think about so i am wrighting this to keep my mind bizzy god this s#%$# ass . i only know that i feel alone right now and i dont like it

• Please MURPHY ... go away and leave us alone .........
  by Jen Whyte

  I think it is time that Murphy picked another family to practice his ‘laws’ on …....... / Yesterday my daughter Jane, Andrews mother, wa…

  I think it is time that Murphy picked another family to practice his ‘laws’ on …....... / Yesterday my daughter Jane, Andrews mother, was knocked down by a car as she crossed a seemingly empty road in Newmains to go to the assistance of a girl who was having a seizure!!!! / Unfortunately there was an old chap in a little red car pulling away from the opposite side of the road which she hadnt seen! Thank goodness when he hit her he was only doing about 15mph or she could have been killed … as it is she has sustained a broken leg, concussion with a large bump on her head with a deep cut which required stitches, very badly bruised and scraped elbows and hardly a single other part of her body which is not scraped and bruised! / She was lucky in the fact that one of her customers was standing outside the shop at the time … he is a nurse! ... and it happened outside the local GP’s surgery so he came out to help! ... and last but by no means least, an ambulance had just passed heading for town and the paramedic had seen what happened in his wing mirror so he stopped and came back! ... so she had plenty of immediate assistance. I may not be able to be on here for a few days as I’ll have to go and look after her so please bear with me …... and please Murphy, if you read this …........... enough is enough!!!!!!!

• so...
  by zarathustra

  Inspiration. Where does it come from? Does the brain juice up chemicals and channels itself to a tune that radically lin…

  Inspiration. Where does it come from? Does the brain juice up chemicals and channels itself to a tune that radically lines symetry and synergy? Shit There is no way to know. I can only say that there is something that definately drives us and in some crazy way makes sense out of what to others may just see as senseless fucking jabber. The beat we march to is different in everyone of us and we should not take that for granted. Pop music composers have what I like to call a common demoninator with the rest of us, or maybe the majority, surely taking in consideration cultural education and all sorts of other outer influences and factors. Its those that transend and stand out and alone regardless of positve or negative feedback from thier sorroundings and fellow brothers, that find true meaning to their time here on earth. Shit!!! For all its worth (To you all, probably not much but, I lost the point I was trying to get across to you) Fuck it, at least I’m not watching primetime television and feeding on the system’s own MSG, and belive me it comes in all forms. The way I see it, either I’m crazy, or I’m a genius… Or I could just be like the majority and just be wishing I was a breed apart. Where do I get my inspiration from, you ask? Well, I think I get my inspiration from pain, the desire to find meaning to what sometimes seems meaningless, love, a pretty smile,the quiet whisper of “I love you “I once heard many years ago from an old girlfriend as I gently Invaded her body. You see, there is no need to be subtle anymore. Until I grow up or give in and realize I can’t go against the wind all of the time or, I thrust to the next level of thinking thus not making my random thoughts I waste of my time and yours, I’ll keep on keeping on. The Good thing about my quest for the truth is that there is no solid answer and as ideas and principles do, the truth keeps changing… I’ll be busy for awhile and I think you should too. Trust me even senseless rants like mine have a meaning somewhere in the universe and in time. See you on top of the mountain my friends and remember if the load you have is too heavy, its not a sign to drop it, but to prove to yourself, you are more than what you are right now. Have a wonderful day. Jonathan Virgilio Baez

• Fooled again..........
  by Sharon Perrett

  Hello Bubblers, Well Christmas over for another year and back to work today for a few hours. Some will have had a good christmas with…

  Hello Bubblers, Well Christmas over for another year and back to work today for a few hours. Some will have had a good christmas with family and friends, some a nice quiet christmas relaxing from the hustle and bustle of normal work life, and sadly for some a time to weep for loved ones lost at this time of year. (RIP Axel) or the feeling of being alone and no one to share with. Then we all at some point click and enter into Red Bubble and it’s wonderful community of warm caring friends all over the world and gently we are soothed in the knowledge that no matter what good or bad we can come here and wonder over the amazing talent in all aspects of creativity and know that if we want to talk or not be alone there is always someone to communicate with. Thank you to all the friends I have already made here and to the ones I’ve yet to cross paths with. I wish you all a better 2008 in your work and personal life. Finally, I would like to say I was fooled yet again, I opened my Red Bubble this morning and was excited to find I had sold 10 cards, I couldn’t believe my good fortune…..........until I suddenly remembered I had ordered them myself using my Red Bubble Gift Certificate that my sister gave me for christmas….............. am feeling rather sheepish, especially as it’s not the first time I have done that. / N.B. Note to myself….do not order own cards before going to bed (hehehhehe!!!) HA*PPY* NEW* *YE*AR TO* *AL*L *BU*BBL*ER*S

• the essence of being alone
  by KEITH R. WILLIAMS

  i write this out of self pity, and it’s my fault that i’m alone. so many beautiful women are attracted, and i see them everyday. how do…

  i write this out of self pity, and it’s my fault that i’m alone. so many beautiful women are attracted, and i see them everyday. how does a man who has lost all most everything he loves love again? the sexy, and appealing ways of women tempt me to a boiling point sometimes, and i still haven’t reached out to touch someone. i’m looking for a meaningful relationship while trapped in the midst of poverty. death surrounds me, and i run away from suicide, or a car accident that has taken loved ones away. a gas explosion stole everything, and left me sweatpants, teeshirt, and socks, but i didn’t care maybe i’m crazy!!! life went on, i regrouped, found a shelter, and now i write. i need a job, a sexy woman, and a place of my own. i want to kiss some sweet lips, taste some punani, lick, and caress a warm tender body, and then reality settles in. the essence of being alone

• Home Page Feature: Where She Sat
  by Charles Dobbs

  Great news! Where She Sat is currently featured on the Home Page! / ...

  Great news! Where She Sat is currently featured on the Home Page! Thanks for all the comments and support of my work! I definitely appreciate it!

• Roughly Speaking 12
  by RoughDiamond

  Yesterday (Saturday Nov 24) was my first day out alone as official photographer for the Herald in my town. I covered the Election – vo…

  Yesterday (Saturday Nov 24) was my first day out alone as official photographer for the Herald in my town. I covered the Election – voting that is, the cricket, pennent bowls, tennis and cricket. The voting wasn’t too easy as the official in charge person wasn’t too happy about me photographing in there. I did get a couple of good shots in though and I think D.Boss will be happy with that. The rest were easy enough, the cricket the most exciting being out there in the middle of the pitch with all these cute guys dressed in white and a heavy red ball whizzing past my head every few minutes! Got a great shot of “Bums on Seats” at the bowls .. couldn’t help myself. All in all it went fine. I’ll be going into the office to check out the pix later on. That’s all :) x

• Alone.....
  by elisab

  Christmas was so much fun. We didn’t have much when I was growing up. We decorated the tree and went shopping on a Saturday when Dad wa…

  Christmas was so much fun. We didn’t have much when I was growing up. We decorated the tree and went shopping on a Saturday when Dad was off work. We got $2.00 to do our shopping with. I had 3 brothers and 1 sister and Mom and Dad. Sometimes my sister and I would combine our money and buy our presents together. It was exciting and the day was snowy and cold. Then we would bake cookies and make the fruit cake that none of us liked. On Christmas Eve we would go to bed and wait for Santa to come. I would not be able to sleep, and I would listen for Santa. I never did hear him, but the presents were there the next morning. I woke up early one Christmas day and it was still dark out. No one else was awake so I crept down the steps and looked around. It was so dark I couldn’t see anything. I moseyed on into the kitchen. It was cold out and my mother turned on the burners of the gas stove to make it warmer. I was alone in a house full of people so I went back to bed. Later that morning, my sister woke me and told me Santa had been there. We were all together. We were so happy. Then I grew up, married and had three children. Times had changed and we spent more than $2.00 for the Christmas presents. The children made it so happy. We helped them play with their new toys, helped them try on their new clothes. We laughed, the kids were happy. Everyone was together. The children grew up. My husband passed away. The girl’s married fantastic men who had jobs that move them all over the United States, they had children. My son moved to another state for a great job. They are so happy. The grandchildren romp with joy at the presents they received. They have a happy meal with lots of cookies. I get a wonderful telephone call and hear all the happy things they have done. And I am all-alone. But……. I have a wonderful home, my health is good and God is with me through it all. I am not alone. And my children and grandchildren are happy. I am not alone.

• Nothing special
  by Anisha Aiyappa

  The day I wandered into this world / God’s light didn’t shine / Fated destiny didn’t rein down its angels / I was not the chosen one / Ap…

  The day I wandered into this world / God’s light didn’t shine / Fated destiny didn’t rein down its angels / I was not the chosen one / Apart from the tear in my da’s eye / As he stood shaking by the hospital bed As I wandered further into this world / World peace did not reign / World war three did not break out / I felt quite ordinary / As I warmed friends hearts / And broke lovers’ (and they mine) As I stand now in this world / I have given / I have felt loved / I have felt joy and ecstasy / I have felt alone / I have seen that anger and ego can sit side by side with hope / And that giving is the hardest greatest thing to do This is for anyone who ever felt like nothing special / We all know how you feel.

• Critique of Erica van Manen's "Alone With A Rose"
  by Damien Mason

  / Erica van Manen...

  / Erica van Manen posted up her great photo Alone With A Rose for critique in the Critique Forum, and she’s kindly given me permission to publish my response here. Agree or disagree I hope you’ll head over to the forum and drop in your own comments and feedback. —-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—- Hi Erica, I do like this shot. The eyes are compelling, they really pull you in, and the colour is consistent and well-considered. However there’s two ways I find myself trying to interpret this photo, and each would be an effective shot, although they can’t really coexist. The first is that this is a glamour shot. Your lighting is really good for this – it’s a nice warm tone that really compliments the skin. The eyes are just fantastic – your housemate should be proud of her beautiful eyes. The hair frames the face nicely, and the golden colour works well with the tone of the whole shot. The problem with this primarily is the pose of the model – she looks uncomfortable. Her head is turned too far so she could look around at the camera, and along with the hand there it just makes for a bit of an awkward angle. Adding to this discomfort is the rose – it’s sitting up quite high, and is clearly just placed on top of the model rather than her interacting with it. I think that’s why Martin said it looks like a digital collage – the elements aren’t really working with each other. The second interpretation is based on these elements that don’t work in a glamour shot, and that is that your model is dead. Quite a different interpretation than the first. However in this case the stillness of the shot, the awkward angle of the head and body and the rose placed on top work really well. The only changes I would suggest for that interpretation would be to have the eyes looking out past the camera instead of straight at it – more in line with the natural placement of the head. You could also try a cooler light to take some of the life out of the shot, but to be honest I think it would work with the warm light. It would give the whole thing the visual feel of a glamour shot but with a much more serious connotation. Ultimately you know what you wanted to achieve with this photo, so you can choose what you might do differently next time to better convey the feeling you want. It’s important to realise how tiny details can completely change an image though. I hope that helps

• Thanks for featuring 'Not Alone' :)
  by Anaa

  Dear Friends, Today am surprised to find Not Alone is featured in “Sti…

  Dear Friends, Today am surprised to find Not Alone is featured in Stillness Speaks / group! Thanks so much to everyone for liking my work! / Thanks a lot to Beth Lambert, the group host! I feel so happy & honoured :) - Anaa

• I've suffered alone for long enough.
  by Gregoryno6

  I’ve had this extremely NSFW tune running around inside my head for a we…

  I’ve had this extremely NSFW tune running around inside my head for a week. / Now it’s your turn.

• Alone
  by Lois Romer

  I hate to say this but for once in many months i am feeeling alone, my partner is out with his son and i havent been able to contact him…

  I hate to say this but for once in many months i am feeeling alone, my partner is out with his son and i havent been able to contact him. so for some reason i am feelling very sad and alone, don’t asky me why as I don’t know, my kids are with their father and im home alone. Could be that it is end of month and work gets frantic but i doubt it. I am sure im not the only one that gets the blues occasionally.

• Sans Famile, Alone in the World. (Alleen op de Wereld.)
  by Ozcloggie

  / I write about this so often, I hope I have not done it here. / “MBartwork’...

  / I write about this so often, I hope I have not done it here. / MBartwork’s aquatint etchings are on the theme of fairy-tales and it made me think of the illustration that comes first into my head, on that subject and it is the illustration, done by G. van Raemdonck, in the book that was given to me when I was a baby: Alleen Op De Wereld, by Hector Malot , translated into Dutch by A.D. Hildebrand. The sketch is of Remi, the central character, standing outside the courthouse, rubbing his eyes, after Vitalis, has been sentenced to two months’ imprisonment. / / My mother started reading that book to me, practically from when I WAS a baby, the first few years, leaving out the (many) sad parts. / Still, I always tell how, at night, when I was 6, or, 7 or so, when trying to go to sleep, I would see Vitalis, lying in the snow, dead, under the spare bed, on the other side of the room. I had such a wonderful time, in 2005, walking with my daughter, who had been in Paris for a year or two, beside the Seine and asking the second-hand booksellers, if they had a copy of Sans Famile. My daughter (and son) born in Sydney, cannot read Dutch. To them I read Thomas the Tank Engine (son) and Strawberry Shortcake (Yes. The daughter) and MANY other books. Now my daughter has French and, like in a movie, the LAST bookseller had BOTH copies and I’d forgotten that there was a second book! The booksellers were such characters!! The one I remember best is the one who told my daughter that he’s seen the black and white film of Sans Famle and that she should not buy the book. She would cry too much!! It was also so good to have one of them point across the Seine and tell us that Hector Malot actually lived there. Like so many things that my parents and I brought with us to Australia, in 1956, we ( I ) now have a time-capsule of memorabilia of the 50s, including the Hansel and Gretel book and the Piggelmee books (Based on a Russian folk-tale). In ALL of these books, I find my colouring-in of some of the illustrations, done when I first had coloured pencils. Practically the only TV shows I currently watch concern antiques being appraised or auctioned, in the U.K.. I can just imagine what someone like that would say about my ‘ruining’ of the pictures in these books. + At Maroubra Bay High School, in 1960, I often sat beside fellow Dutch immigrant, Hans, in French lessons. We got so excited, when Mr Fredericks (Unkindly, called Freddo, the Frog, by students) knew all about sans Famile because growing up in Holland, after World War 2, our generation just all read: Alleen Op De Wereld. If you’ve read my other journal entry, I hope you noticed that my schoolfriend, (Piet) put his arm up, in the same manner, as the fictional Remi, when our migrant ship passed through the last lock, at IJmuiden, and into the North Sea. I hope that’s not over-kill. :) :( (Friends of mine, not teachers, got to know John Fredericks, in the 70s, at the Teachers Federation Club. They found him to be such a lovely man!)

• I don't smile alot.
  by Craig Dick

  People don’t like me because / I don’t smile alot.

  People don’t like me because / I don’t smile alot.

• Im so very lost.
  by Craig Dick

  Come see www.lost.eu/71a30

  Come see www.lost.eu/71a30

• "The Unlucky One"
  by stephfine

  One too many stones cast upon me, / I stand so alone, bare and cold. No / leaves too cover me… I’m trying not to covet / my neighbors’ th…

  One too many stones cast upon me, / I stand so alone, bare and cold. No / leaves too cover me… I’m trying not to covet / my neighbors’ they stand there so beautifully / as the wind blows upon them so perfectly. / Where did I go wrong? The day’s seem so / long without my blanket of green leaves / sheltering me. Stephine Arriaga 2008 / Dedicated too “The Unlucky One” by Maxhamish

• Sometimes You Have to Run
  by Adrena87

  Sometimes you have to run… / I don’t know the exact reason he had decided to flee “us”again, but I knew this time was the last… / What …

  Sometimes you have to run… / I don’t know the exact reason he had decided to flee “us”again, but I knew this time was the last… / What made it different? / The feeling of emptiness in my heart… / the hole left with a gaping mouth in the pit of my soul… / Perhaps it was his fear of losing control… / Having a controlling mother will do that to a man… / Know a man’s relationship with his mother, and you will find his relationship / with you… / The hate or love for his mother… / Will equate love and hate for you… / If you are like his mother, / He will resent you. / If you are opposite of her, / He will fear loving you. / A total contradiction, but true nevertheless… / I don’t know how he found me… / I don’t know why he sought me… / I will never understand why he left me… / Granted, / he left me before all this hell even started…

• Portrait of Hannah
  by Adrena87

  She becomes mad / A modern-day Van Gogh / The moment commitment’s fingers lunge / At her throat / Reaching out like love’s jackhammer / Slammi…

  She becomes mad / A modern-day Van Gogh / The moment commitment’s fingers lunge / At her throat / Reaching out like love’s jackhammer / Slamming her heart into her ribs with fear / Aching woman / Paints her moment alone Copyright ©2008 Hannah Adrian Rogers

• I'm Honored!!!!
  by stroan

  I Stand Alone has been featured in Dusk and Dawn!!!!!!! I’m SO floored!!! Thank you SO much! I’m loving RB, what a great place to be a…

  I Stand Alone has been featured in Dusk and Dawn!!!!!!! I’m SO floored!!! Thank you SO much! I’m loving RB, what a great place to be a part of with so many great photographers who are also great people that are warm and accepting! Hugs!

• I'm Alone Again N I Like It
  by Ericalovesnoone

  When I look at your figure I see a pleasing form When I look into your eyes I see a dwindling storm When I see someone walk…

  When I look at your figure I see a pleasing form When I look into your eyes I see a dwindling storm When I see someone walking I can tell if they are or are not you When I see you in a crowd I want you alone in my room When I see you down I want to give you a hug When I don’t react That is the time you should know I’m your rug When I see you and you see me Can you hear my heart beating? No? Are you sure? Can you hear my ragged breathing? Do you notice the sudden rush of blood in my veins When I hear the sound of your name? And if you say yes to all of the above is it true and is it love? Erica Dawn Ivie