I was not too happy to see Mr. Jacobs in my appointment book, but as a professional psychiatrist I did my best when he came through my door. He was a wealthy business man and it would be good for my repertoire if I served him well. The Great Depression was on and there were many a fool, eh hem, clients in need of my services.
“Dr. Frank, thank you for taking me on. I know you are quite busy,” he fidgeted with his hat while I greeted him. I escorted him into my office and had him take a seat.
“What can I help you with, Mr. Jacobs,” I delicately asked with some prior knowledge of his assets.
“It’s about my marriage. I am happy with my wife. She does such a fine job with the children. The cooking is fabulous, but eh…”
“Don’t be shy. I’m here to listen.”
“Well, Dr. Frank, I haven’t seen my wife naked for two years. She has no interest in such things. What is wrong with women?” He looked as if he was going to cry. “They just don’t have the same desire us men do. I see the girls at the club after work. It drives me mad looking at all that and going home to… well… corned beef and whiny children.”
“Ah. Yes. I see your point, Mr. Jacobs. Do you know there are options for men such as yourself?” I walked over to my desk and flipped through some paperwork. “Here we are! Why don’t you call this number. Sherry. She can help you out. No questions, just results. You won’t even have to buy her flowers!”
“I can’t do that? Can I?”
“Well why not? Everyone else is. Besides, we all know that women don’t actually like sex. So what is the harm? You can pay Sherry to pretend she enjoys every minute of it. You won’t know how much she hates it because she is just that good.”
Mr. Jacobs sat staring at me for a good long time before speaking. I could see the wheels turning in his head to the point that steam almost started to escape. It was as if he had seen a whole new world open up that he never knew existed.
“Thank you, Dr. Frank,” he finally uttered. He stood up to take the card from my hand and hugged me before making his way out the door. Another easy buck made on my part and I’m sure he would rave about me at the office after he got a load of Sherry.
I briskly walked over to the closet door while loosening my tie and gleefully released the nasty little eavesdropper that was hiding inside in her finest peekaboo something or other. Her large grin greeted me with a kiss.
“Well, hello Ms. Jacobs,” I licked my chops. “Aren’t you looking ravishing in this fine closet?”
“Why yes I am, Dr. Frank and I must say I owe you a large bit of gratitude. Women don’t like sex, indeed! You really must be spanked for that.”
Oh, it’s good to be a doctor.
Don’t ask me why I wrote this! I guess it’s an old myth that we’ve proven wrong, I hope.