Paper Hopes of Camelot

If there is one thing I have… it’s paper towels. Oodles. My house, a wreckage yard for days past with better things to do than pick up a broom or a shovel. While it is my castle, I find peace in being away from the clutter where I can imagine a perfect world where I am neat and tidy. I save my anal retentive inflictions for the office.

Nose to the grind stone, pounding away at the day. My office persona keeps me in tact. There is no faltering there, well, except for my late arrivals because mornings are a complete conundrum to me. They should not exist.

Off work each day with visions of sugar plum perfection in my brain, I head home to face a heap of neglect. What better to thwart reality than a visit to the grocery store where I purchase the cheapest paper towels I can buy. Why not get two? So cheap! It’s like an addiction. Seventy-nine cents worth of good intention.

As I’m in line to purchase my two cans of cat food, a bottle of wine and, of course, my two or three rolls of paper towels…. I dream of all the uses my fluffy paper presents will fulfill. Windows, counters, stove tops, fixtures. All shiny new and and sparkling in my mind.

I unlock the door to unfold the truth. I rip a sheet of reality off my roll and take a bath. I’m too pooped to scrub the light fantastic this evening. I open the cat food to angry, neglected meows. The wine has already been opened. The last item in the bag is my beloved paper towels. Each sheet a new beginning. I shriek to discover that the cupboard is already filled with paper hopes, shredded dreams of clean, immaculate living.

And the real pisser…. I forgot to buy toilet paper… again!

Currently unavailable for purchase

he he… I am not a good housekeeper… this is an average day… sort of. : )


  • Lisa  Jewell
    Lisa Jewellover 4 years ago

    OMG this is so me….from the cupboard of paper towel, to forgetting the toilet paper and the wine opened as I whip open a can of cat food.

    so human, I now see :)
    I enjoyed this so very much


  • Thank you so much… smiling! xox

    – Zolton

  • mmargot
    mmargotover 4 years ago

    ah so.
    but it is a huge bad when you forget the toilet paper and the cat litter.

  • Willow has put up with me for over 15 years. It is a dubious honor to scoop her precious poop. ha ha.

    – Zolton

  • PJ Ryan
    PJ Ryanover 4 years ago

    so good, loved it .. i’m pleased you’ve got your priorities sort between the cat food and the wine… x

  • ha ha… sometimes the cat comes first, I must admit. Thank you xx

    – Zolton

  • mmargot
    mmargotover 4 years ago

    Ah, I am always glad when you mention Willow… :)
    When Selket was little, she used to stand next to me and monitor (I swear that was what she was doing) the litter box clean routine!

  • Um…. yeah… she’s in there before i can put the cover on it and put it in it’s resting place. What is that? I don’t let her out anymore without supervision, but she used to come in to use the litter box and then go straight back outside. Weird! : D

    – Zolton

  • Solar Zorra
    Solar Zorraover 4 years ago

    So I’m not the only one with the paper towel fettish………whew! Try having to get up every day at 5:00 am to feed five cats because between them there is no way they’re going to let you sleep. Then I have to stay up until they’re done eating to let them outside. No one should have five cats. :) Solar

  • bloorain
    bloorainover 4 years ago

    wow this is so delightful to read. The ending itself is just an added treat :) fav!

  • JaneSolomon1
    JaneSolomon1over 4 years ago

    haha! so very human….;-) xx

  • Alison Pearce
    Alison Pearceover 4 years ago

    LOL!! Great write!

  • Arcadia Tempest
    Arcadia Tempestover 4 years ago

    LOL …..I buy toilet paper in bulk ….so if there is a toilet paper famine….my place is the place to be in the ’ wipe ’ place ;O)
    Ok …I know that was so lame a pun I should get royally flushed for that one! Oooopps pardon me I did it again….it’s cos I am so pooped…. ;O)
    Ok…I will stop .
    P.S. I use paper towels a lot, they are the kitchen staple in front diary products for priorities….x

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