Insomnia
This is for Star Twisters 26 for the prompt Racket.
Insomnia belongs to the following groups:
Twisted TalesGreg was in bed with eyes wide open. He stared at the ceiling, but the darkness enveloped him. He could see no light, no shadows, just pitch black. His eyes blinked wildly to catch some glimpse of anything that might be in the room. Only darkness came to him, darkness and the racket of everything that was happening around him.
Why won’t they let me sleep? he cried to himself in frustration. It had been several days since the insomnia had set in. He could hear the neighbors arguing. Music was playing next door. He heard footsteps above him. When it all seemed to stop, the drip of the faucet in the kitchen tortured him to no end.
Greg was maddened by his exhaustion. He tried to block it all out. If only everyone would be quiet, he thought, I could finally get some rest. He covered his head with his pillow and curled into a ball, temples pounding and eyes burning.
“Shut that damn radio off,” he yelled at the wall. He punched it in anger. It did no good. That horrible song was blaring in his head again. Greg hated that song. He sobbed in his prison of sleeplessness.
Down the hospital corridor, Dr. Hampton and his associates were discussing Greg’s situation.
“I insist he not be given any sleep aids,” said Dr. Hampton. “Greg needs to remember what happened or this will never end. It’s some sort of post traumatic stress disorder. He was starting to regain memory when he slipped into the state he is in now. I don’t even think he realizes where he is. Greg could never remember the night his mother was murdered. They found him under the kitchen sink hiding. The song he claims to be hearing is the one that was playing while his father committed the murder.”
Banalheed
Ouch! Twisted and disturbed! Poor old Greg. A great twisted tale Zolton! Just one small typo in the line “If only everyone would be quite”, I think you mean ‘quiet’?
Zolton replied
Thanks! Thought I caught all the mistakes. aaarg!
KMFalcon
Oh goodness what a twist, you did that very well no hints till the end. Excellent read tks.
Zolton replied
Thank you! Much appreciated.
Mark Bateman
Zolton – brilliant writing. Emotive, angst filled, depressive.. from a poor chap who can’t sleep in his bedroom to lying in psychiatric ward after witnessing a murder. All in 350 words. Bravo!
Zolton replied
Thank you, Mark. I was hoping it wasn’t too downbeat, but I guess it had to be. We’ve all had those nights for one reason or another. : )
Miri
enjoyed this, puts a whole new slant on an earworm which is an expression i heard recently for when a song gets stuck in your head all day!!!
Zolton replied
Earworm? Good word! We are always talking at work about what songs are stuck in our heads. Ha ha. Then, we start writing our own to get them out!
Alison Pearce
Excellent story!!
Matthew Dalton
I really felt you were describing a man in an enclosed space; like a coffin. The ‘child under the sink’ at the end worked perfectly.
A great tale.
Zolton replied
Thanks, Matthew. : )
Mark Bateman
You know reading Matthew’s comment I realise that there is even more in this story. The drip of the faucet in the kitchen… he still thinks he is UNDER the kitchen sink – sorta. Again, great writing Zolton.
Zolton replied
I found a lot of hidden stuff to bring out in the end which isn’t usually my style, but it worked. Thank you!
Jeannette Sheehy
that was a great story – twisted and tortured and everything! Thanks Zolton! :)
Zolton replied
Thank you, Jeannette!
henrybones
Good twist, Zolton, and I loved the build-up
Zolton replied
Much thanks, Henry. : )
lightsmith
I like a good kitchen sink drama …. ok, sorry, just couldnt resist that.
Nice tale. A good ‘inside the mind of’ approach.
Zolton replied
Haa ha… I hadn’t made that connection. Thank you