I have been home sick for a couple of days and watching too much TV. You know those crazy drug adds that don’t tell ya what the heck the medication is for, but list a bunch of scary side effects? Well, I couldn’t help myself, I’m afraid. : P
Here is the small print. I know you can’t see it….
Help is finally here…
Talk to a physician before taking Curalta.
Side effects may include drowsiness, loss of vision, diarrhea, violent tendencies, dry mouth and eventually death.
Do not take Curalta if you are currently unmedicated, healthy, suffer from Positive Image of Self Syndrome (PISS) or have ever had a headache.
Avoid taking with wheat products, foods containing sodium, organic vegetable matter or digestible protein.
Curalta should never be taken with water. Side effects of taking with water may include eruptions of the small intestine and rectal bleeding.
In some cases, murderous rampages have occurred.
It is recommended that Curalta be taken with large quantities of an alcohol such as vodka or gin and a mild sedative.
If Curalta does not appear to be working for you, take
the entire bottle and call an ambulance.
Some or all of these side effects occurred in 97% of patients, but good luck proving it was Curalta. We have good lawyers.