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Not feeling it

I do not know if anybody cares or is listening but I am venting none the less.

I have lost my creative mojo.

I have been wondering why I do not have any urge to take photos, create music or write.

I have been so flat out with caring for my wife, and trying to get our life a semblance of normality back into it, that when I do get time to myself I could not be bothered doing anything.

This year was supposed to be much better than the last. In my last journal entry I wrote that I must go now, as I need to fill in forms. They are never ending!

Rebecca and I finally did get settled, just before my birthday in September last year, then they decided to sell the house we were renting. It was sold, and the new owners wanted to move in. Not wanting this situation again, we decided to purchase a house.

Purchasing a house consumes your life. When you decide to do it, it’s all you do. Especially when there is a time frame involved. After getting bitterly disappointed when places that were quoted as being 490-540 end up selling for over 600, we finally fell upon a place, had a nice real estate agent, thanks Joe (Nelson Alexander Pascoe Vale, he is a very nice guy, which is rare), and we acquired a home.

Two months later we move in. We are still renting the other place, as we cannot break the lease. So I am running two households.

One week after we move in I lose my job. Right out of the blue. One and a half weeks later I have another, but now have to start my own company, as I am going through a recruitment company now. If you are starting a company, pay someone to help you, and explain things, as doing it yourself (I was advised that it would only take 20minutes over the internet. Initially it does but they forget to mention all the other bullshit that comes after) is a pain in the ass.

Also the bank that loaned us the money forgot to do the “first home buyers grant” for us, now we have to do it ourselves. More FUCKING forms and bullshit to fill out and certify and it’s never ending!!!!!!! Why do they make life so difficult? You have to be a lawyer to figure out what the required information is!

Not to mention all the things that come along with setting up a home, and organising things to be sent over from the UK, from our previous residence.

Every five minutes I am thinking about things that need to be done.

All I want is to sit in my home, pay mortgage, eat, drink, work, look after Beck, create and sleep.

Exchange create in that sentence for do everything but create and you have my life in a nutshell.

Bring on my next birthday. All this shit should be well sorted by then.

Rant over.

P.S. – I just realised it has been 11 months since my last post. Go figure.

Journal Comments

  • Mel Brackstone
  • Adrian Rachele
  • jemimalovesbigted
  • Adrian Rachele
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