things breaking up
things breaking down
neural circuitry in constant flux
can we get an alignment of ducks?
tutonic plates have shifted
i am out of the comfort zone
when will strange and new become old hat?
puzzle pieces mixed up
missing a few pieces
I step over the same pile
walk around the same out of place items
suddenly in 5 minutes
clear and put an area in order
create art from a vein
generate a big mess
to step over again.
i am not in control
my body is smarter than me
I am listening
but i cant help but
shrink at my damned vulnerability
and the fragility of my changing flesh
so transparent I am
a frontal lobe open vessel
a shallow cup when it comes to pain
frequent emptying maintanence
how long til I have perspective again?
How long til I marvel
at the disorder
patterning itself once again into perfect order?
how far have I come.
it’s a statement not a question.
you have not talked to me in over a year
i simply cannot fill you in on all the changes
I am generations beyond the me you knew
i cannot live by your rules
i am sorry that is so disorienting for you.
every cell offers up it’s truth
and for every knot unlocked
every code cracked
i absorb the hard core truth of the existence of evil
I trade it in for freedom
and a palmful of gold dust
suspended in my transparency
floating in the vapor of my essence
settling on my very own darkness.
for all my soft tenderness of heart
i am a perpetual processing machine.
make no mistake
you do not know me
i am not knowable even unto myself
trust i havent a mean bone in my body
only a venegence for love
and a will to survive
programed into my DNA
my spirit insists
yay demands the full measure
of my God given power
to align and transcend
unto my divine self.
sorry 26 disappeared.